AdTurds – Adverts that are shit Bad adverts. Badverts

10Apr/153

Samsung Galaxy S6 James Corden Advert

James Corden baffles me. He's actually quite a good actor and isn't utterly dreadful - despite his annoying ubiquity ramping up the irritation quotient. But I have never once found him remotely funny. And when the rest of the world finds something funny that you don't, it's discombobulating.

Gavin And Stacy, not funny. Horne and Corden, not funny. Lesbian Vampre Killers I'll admit I haven't seen, but does anyone on God's green Earth think it's likely to be funny? His Comic Relief skits that Premiership footballers think are hilarious, not funny. James Corden, fundamentally, is not funny.

James Corden Advert

Consider this James Corden advert for the Samsung Galaxy S6 phone - it is not remotely funny and I honestly can't see how or why anyone would disagree with this analysis. A man wearing a beard (Wilf, his 'alter-ego') and being pretentious isn't funny; it's one of the hoariest cliches imaginable about directors. People being freaked out by special effects is not funny. That's one of the hoariest cliches going about oversold adverts. Taking the piss out of Apple - a bit rich coming from global megalith Samsung - isn't funny, it's one of the most frequently-trod memes out there. All told, it's an incredibly unfunny advert.

Corden is described by Samsung as the 'man of the moment' and 'humourous'. The Drum describes Corden as 'personable' and the advert as and 'tongue-in-cheek'. Wow, hold me back.

"I don't need this," says Corden at the end of the advert - and that's what so odd. No, you don't need it: you don't need the money, the exposure or another unfunny thing on your CV and we don't need it either. Undercutting the over-exposed, rich and successful is a bit of a recurring theme in Corden's stuff - but isn't he all of those things? He's mates with David Beckham, Gary Barlow, David Cameron and Andy Murray. It's like satire done by people who literally don't understand satire.

Corden seems to be the golden boy at the moment, for reasons I can't really fathom. From his oddly creepy documentary following around Gary Barlow - someone else who has attached themselves to David Cameron for reasons not especially obvious - to his day editing The Sun or twatting around with Beckham, it's as if the roly-poly funnyman seeks out media opportunities designed to irritate most right-thinking people.

James Corden Advert Beckham

"Hilarious spoof advert"

Famous people chumming around with other famous people is one of the most aggravating things imaginable - Corden seems to have made a career out of it. I love Britain for its irreverence and its inclination to cock a snoop at the rich and famous.

James Corden Book

The blandishments of Corden - and his resulting popularity - seem to fly in the face of all of that. Like so many others I can only look on when Corden appears on my screen with genuine puzzlement. James Corden just isn't funny - is he?

Tagged as: 3 Comments
3Apr/153

How Twitter Reacted To The Clean Bandit Cortana Advert

Clean Bandit Cortana advert

With opinion crystallising around the idea that the Clean Bandit Cortana advert is ranked somewhere between the explosion of Krakatoa and 90s soap opera Eldorado in terms of Bad Things, I wonder how Clean Bandit have viewed the last month. That is, assuming they can view anything, what with the amounts of bank notes Microsoft has been explosively ejaculating in their direction for most of 2015.

I've had my say on the Clean Bandit advert already - as has most of the internet - but bad adverts are meat and drink to blogs and websites, whose job it is to scorn stuff like this. For a real snapshot of how the group's Cortana advert has gone down we need to look at social media - if stuff goes down badly on the likes of Twitter, increasingly taken over by vlogging twerps, you know you're in trouble.

I've got some filthy news for you, Clean Bandit. The people who inhabit Twitter, one of the easiest audiences to impress, think it's a shitter. The words cringe, embarrassing and die are used most frequently in reference to the ad - and something truly awful becomes apparent.

Even though people hate it, their cringe muscle is even more exercised than their hate muscle. People don't hate Clean Bandit for this advert; they actually pity Clean Bandit for being in their advert.

See what you make of the following responses from Twitter, Vine and Youtube and ask yourself if the band will ever recover from their awkward dalliance with Cortana.

What Clean Bandit Should Ask Cortana For

Class A drugs?

Career Ruined

Is this a new Duffy Diet Coke ad in the making?

Even MPS Are Dissing Them

Stella Creasy MP just pwned Clean Bandit.

Anger

Genuine fury, randomly directed.

Was It Worth It? / Change Your Agent

How much money could possibly be worth all this?

No Words

Clean Bandit Fans

Even Clean Bandit fans - or erstwhile Clean Bandit fans - are appalled.

BURN

Nailed it.

Reverend And The Makers identify just what Clean Bandit can expect to have shouted at them forever

Cortana / Clean Bandit Media

Lots of people can't rely on words to express their fury.

You make me laugh, Cortana

Creepy.

Cringe, Embarrassment And Shame

The Cortana advert is provoking a lot of physical reactions across the land.

Worst Thing Ever

Of course, the vast majority of people were simply moved to describe just how nakedly appalling the whole enterprise is.

Hate adverts?

This is the one chance you’ll ever get to fight back against terrible adverts. For once, the boot can be on the other foot. Deliver it to the knackers of evil – and hit the buttons below.

×

Still here?

You should definitely sign up below. Every extra follower makes Gladstone Brookes unhappy.

×