AdTurds Bad Adverts – Badverts

30Apr/105

John Lewis advert seems to misunderstand Always A Woman lyrics

The world is sitting with big, fat tears rolling down their faces watching this advert for John Lewis, at least that's what's the internet is telling us.

Really? The first time I became aware of it was when people started telling us about it on the Suggest an AdTurd form and my housemate started throwing things at the telly.

The first thing I thought was Bill Fucking Joel. I'm not sure how lyrics like:

She can kill with a smile / She can wound with her eyes

or;

She can ruin your faith with her casual lies

really invite me to buy into this touching life story. To me it suggests deep duplicity and cruelty and, of course, she also 'steals like a thief'.

That's just for starters though. Because she will also 'carelessly cut you and laugh while you’re bleedin'. This woman sounds awful! She's a sociopath!

I'd suggest that the ad is missing a few scenes. The one where she gets backscuttled by a bloke at work and then lies to her husband about it.

The bit where she embezzles tens of thousands of pounds from the charity she works for as an fund-raising manager.

Or the bit where she wallops her kid and locks her overnight in the pantry for making a mess in the kitchen. And why not take that 'laugh while you're bleeding' line literally?

Hell, it may not sell as many teasmaids, but it'd be a much better advert.

• FYI: The song is performed here by Fyfe Dangerfield from the Guillemots - a massively overrated band in AdTurds' book

  • Paul Catlow

    Not many Waitroses up here in the north, thankfully – it dsoes appear they’ve cherry-picked the richest bits with South-Eastern-style levels of affluence, so you find them in Poynton and Cheadle but not in Wythenshawe… one in central Manchester too, servicing the sort of yuppie flats that premiership footballers buy for sily money…  this advert does seem to appeal somehow to Daily Mail readers  with a sense of aspiration to better things…. same snob values as Waitrose shopping?

  • Paul Catlow

    Not many Waitroses up here in the north, thankfully – it dsoes appear they’ve cherry-picked the richest bits with South-Eastern-style levels of affluence, so you find them in Poynton and Cheadle but not in Wythenshawe… one in central Manchester too, servicing the sort of yuppie flats that premiership footballers buy for sily money…  this advert does seem to appeal somehow to Daily Mail readers  with a sense of aspiration to better things…. same snob values as Waitrose shopping?

  • Lizardprojects

    Regrettably, due to shit management, John Lewis|Waitrose have turned from desirable places to shop into also-ran cartel participants.
    Tis a pity that they are shit

  • Lizardprojects

    Regrettably, due to shit management, John Lewis|Waitrose have turned from desirable places to shop into also-ran cartel participants.
    Tis a pity that they are shit

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  • Matt T

    This advert was mentioned on BBC 1 yesterday (Scott Mills) where they played the entire song :/

    Anyway, it was also mentioned about her wrist when she opens the fridge…looks a bit dodgy to me!

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