AdTurds Bad Adverts – Badverts

18Dec/100

Cadburys: surfing inside a chocolate tube

I find adverts featuring this sort of claymation decidedly creepy, and not at all endearing. I also find bastardisations of songs I love particularly annoying.

But they pale into insignificance in this ad, one of the Cadbury's 'chocolate world' series from earlier this decade; particularly this one, which features a surfer.

The idea of the ads is that the world would be a much better place if only everything were made of chocolate. I beg to differ, but let's run with it.

Wouldn't it be nice if the world was Cadbury?

asks the ad. Well, we've covered that already. What's next up?

You could surf inside a chocolate tube...

WHAT?! 'Surf inside a chocolate tube?' If someone told me they'd enjoyed the previous evening surfing inside a chocolate tube, I would infer that they had been enjoying a pursuit that couldn't be much further away from ingesting cocoa mass, and had coined an elaborate euphemism to convey that information.

If you're not sure exactly what I'm talking about, then the ad is likely to disabuse you of that ignorance soon after, where a shark approaches our chocolate surfer with a grin on its face. Unperturbed, our animated chum simply wiggles his arse in the air and returns an encouraging grin.

And if a shark came up and tried to bite you
You could say 'I'm chocolate - I invite you'

He is, quite simply, offering his arse out to rent. So, there you have it. Two totally blatant references to anal sex. Bet you don't fancy that finger of fudge anymore eh?

Wouldn't it be nice?

No, no it wouldn't.

H/T Dick Mandrake