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25Mar/122

UPS: That’s Logistics

Words that would be less egregious than 'logistics' in a bastardised version of That's Amore - a song about the wonder of love.

Faeces
Vomit
Santorum
Pus
Weeping sores
The death of a beloved pet
Locked-in syndrome
Herpes
Holocaust
Ebola
Bereavement
George Osborne
Suicide bombers
Mustard gas
Alzheimers
Racism
Collateral damage
Child pornography
Kelvin MacKenzie
Thermonuclear war
Necrotizing fasciitis
Piers Morgan
Banter

Bonus turds for the shit-eating Microsoft Songsmith American signing voice.

Here's what UPS says:

Everybody loves something. We love logistics. We love its precision, its epic scale, its ability to make life better for billions of people. Each day, our customers count on us to choreograph a ballet of infinite complexity played across skies, oceans and borders. And we do. What's not to love?

'Ballet of infinite complexity'? 'We love logistics'? 'What's not to love'?

What's not to love? You.

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