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24Aug/1213

Secret Escapes advert

This advert can be summed up thus, by the reactions of my housemate over a few days of seeing this ad, which seems to be on at least four times every ad break:

  • Who's she? She is fit. She is beautiful. I bet she's filthy.
  • She is a stunner, Brownie. I think I like the bit in the middle best.
  • Oh, I love that girl. Actually she looks nicest when she's lying on the bed.
  • Is this advert on again? I still would, mind.
  • This advert has been on so much I don't fancy her any more.


  • So, there you have it. Love at first sight to disinterest within the lifespan of a televisions advert. That's less impressive than a mayfly's pitiful lifecycle.

    Will Secret Escapes mind? Of course not. With companies like this who don't offer a product, unique service or anything that isn't easily copied and replicated, the market is crammed with competitors.

    How do you tell if one is better than another? You don't. The quality of service, the scope of the hotels on offer, the prices available. If there is any difference between them it's impossible to discern. So how else to advertise yourself?

    Carpet-bombing with a fit girl. Carpet-girl bombing. Girl-carpet bombing. Bomb-girl carpeting. She's called Camilla Arfwedson if you're interested. And, Camilla, if you're reading I reckon my mate would still be happy to take you out for a date.

    • TheZeroElement

      The bit that annoys me is when she mentions that even the best hotels don’t like empty beds. Well no shit Sherlock, how else would they make money? Not by dismissing custom because they don’t want to crease their bed sheets. I’d still do her though.

    • Matt

      “Even top hotels don’t want empty beds…but that’s strictly between you and me”

      FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF

      That’s not some top secret, that’s just basic common sense. Words can’t say how much the woman in this advert pisses me off.

    • Gimmestrength

      Allowing for the fact that the extreme frequency of this advert is enough to make my blood boil anyway, the thing that really gets me is the high-volume whisper that makes me feel as though I have another stalker. One second I’m minding my own business, innocently watching some claptrap on Channel 4, and the next I get the feeling some psycho is right behind me, leaning over my shoulder and barely an inch from my ear whispering how she wants to plunge a knife into my neck after boiling my pet rat. And all because I was drunk when I got her number and awoke the following morning to remember she looked like greyhound chewing gravel. Still, Camilla Arfwedson’s fit. I would…

    • hookm

      Not to impune the character of the actress involved, but I had thought she was portraying a call girl.

    • mingenits

      intensely irritating. would though.

    • Steph

      sssheee’sss not fit. ssssheeee’ssss ssssssimply a bit possssssh and a lot fucking pretentioussssssss.

      • Robin Brown

        Steph, Steph. I have never disagreed with you before. But I think she is quite fit. Perhaps more to the point – as you acknowledge – she is clearly posh. And in the general experiences of men (this one certainly and also the chap referenced above) very, very dirty. And I’m afraid that counts for a lot where men are concerned.

        • Steph

          haha, i have often suspected as much. but yeah, rahs are absolute filth.

    • IdleMind

      Hang on…..there are 3 actresses in the ad, right? Or am I wrong and it’s just Camilla Arfwedson in all 3 scenarios? Now I’m confused!

    • common sense

      The most aggravating advert on tv by far, the gals fit but a geek

    • HugoWango

      Thats it no more!! i need to rant about this fucking whispering bitch.

      FUCK OFF!!!!!!! I actually feel my blood pressure rise at the sound of this fucking women and no she is not hot.

    • john wilson

      the most disturbing advert ever i cant stand its pathetic the way she talks makes me just want to scream please please please do not show this on TV the people that make these adverts must think everyone is stupid please go away and dont come back ever

    • Chris

      This adverts bad, but them legs……….