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5Mar/1312

Santander rips off PaddyPower

You know what was good about these PaddyPower adverts (that's the last time I've ever write that phrase)? The celebrities. They're unlikely; they've been out of the public eye for quite a while and they've somewhat gone to seed.

You know what else is good? They play up how strange - how disturbing, even - the unexpected appearances of Bruce Grobbelaar, Carlton Palmer and Des Walker are. They communicate odd messages about gambling, but there's another aspect to it as well; something unsettling about it all. They hapless punters on the receiving end of this unwanted attention look freaked out; frightened even.

You know what's good about these Santander adverts featuring Jenson Button, Jessica Ennis and Rory McIlroy popping up in unlikely situations to communicate odd messages about banking? None of the things I mentioned above. All of the same ingredients; none of the wit.

Here's how this could have been better: McIlroy talks to the bloke while he's on the bog. Ennis reaches around and helps the guy tug himself off over a basin. Button comes out of the wardrobe while the couple are having a blazing row about his infertility. In fact, that last one would be epic.

Having said all that, they still wouldn't be as good as the PaddyPower ads.

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  • Jimmy Cricketing

    “Ennis reaches around and helps the guy tug himself off over a basin.”

    would be awesome. Spesh if she was in her running togs.

  • Jimmy Cricketing

    “Ennis reaches around and helps the guy tug himself off over a basin.”

    would be awesome. Spesh if she was in her running togs.

  • Lefty Bagpuss

    Ennis and Button are two of the most consistant suckers of Satan’s corporate cock. The Don Valley Stadium in Sheffield, where Ennis trained to become a corporate whore, sorry, I mean Olympic athlete, I closing due to this shitty Government’s cuts. Maybe, if Jessica put some of the money from these adturds back into the places like this, then we could forgive her for this annoying travesty. The only other way would be for her to pop round to mine dressed in nothing but….. I’ll stop there before this comment gets moderated out of existence 🙂

  • Lefty Bagpuss

    Ennis and Button are two of the most consistant suckers of Satan’s corporate cock. The Don Valley Stadium in Sheffield, where Ennis trained to become a corporate whore, sorry, I mean Olympic athlete, I closing due to this shitty Government’s cuts. Maybe, if Jessica put some of the money from these adturds back into the places like this, then we could forgive her for this annoying travesty. The only other way would be for her to pop round to mine dressed in nothing but….. I’ll stop there before this comment gets moderated out of existence 🙂

  • Mark

    If I’d known that the Olympics was just a middle class short cut to life on the gravy train I’d have never watched it, let alone got behind athletes like Jessica Ennis, now not only do I have to see her wave her Gold medal in my face at every TV opportunity, I now have to see her earning bags of cash with her new pretend sporting millionaire mates in the strangest adturd to annoy not just me, but the very people who are supposed to benefit from their banal banking offers! Santander, stop throwing good money at rich people, and reduce my damn mortgage a few pence instead.

  • If I’d known that the Olympics was just a middle class short cut to life on the gravy train I’d have never watched it, let alone got behind athletes like Jessica Ennis, now not only do I have to see her wave her Gold medal in my face at every TV opportunity, I now have to see her earning bags of cash with her new pretend sporting millionaire mates in the strangest adturd to annoy not just me, but the very people who are supposed to benefit from their banal banking offers! Santander, stop throwing good money at rich people, and reduce my damn mortgage a few pence instead.

  • Paul LJ Catlow

    Perhaps it’s a clever ploy on the part of Santander: they realise we find all-singing, all-dancing, glamorous adverts for banks are less than convincing. The subtext might be – like the High street banking business the celebrities we use are as boring as fuck. But like Santander, they are reliable and they deliver top perfomance. Every time.

  • Perhaps it’s a clever ploy on the part of Santander: they realise we find all-singing, all-dancing, glamorous adverts for banks are less than convincing. The subtext might be – like the High street banking business the celebrities we use are as boring as fuck. But like Santander, they are reliable and they deliver top perfomance. Every time.

  • Paul LJ Catlow

    And they use a racing driver who makes Nigel Mansell look charismatic. And a pro golfer. Two categories of sport producing some of the most boring characters in the sporting world – and I include Steve Davis in this category, although snooker isn’t a sport, it’s a pub game. And while dear Jessica Ennis might be petite and gorgeous and a delight to the eye, she isn’t exactly the life and soul either.

  • And they use a racing driver who makes Nigel Mansell look charismatic. And a pro golfer. Two categories of sport producing some of the most boring characters in the sporting world – and I include Steve Davis in this category, although snooker isn’t a sport, it’s a pub game. And while dear Jessica Ennis might be petite and gorgeous and a delight to the eye, she isn’t exactly the life and soul either.

  • Guest

    Possibly one of the most awkward things on the television after Embarrassing Bodies. This is probably more embarrassing.

  • Possibly one of the most awkward things on the television after Embarrassing Bodies. This is probably more embarrassing.

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