A deleterious round-up of annoying things designed to make you spend money.
I despise the way that advertising pretends that it’s your friend, when it’s not. Every time adverts make out that they’re on your side, that they’re trying to help or that they wish you well – remind yourself that they want your money and that’s all.
I also hate the way that, as a society, we’ve elevated motherhood to some sort of irreproachable sainthood, as if people haven’t been doing it for millions of years. Well done, you fulfilled your genetic pre-destiny. A generation ago they didn’t make a big deal of it – they just fucking gone on with it without posting pictures of the their kids wearing ironic onesies. Just because – The Office so charmingly put it – you let some useless tosser blow his beans up your muff doesn’t mean I want to hear about it.
Juan Sheet wants to know if Pretty Lady Rachel has ‘got plenty wet’ after seeing his demonstration of absorption. I mean it’s good, but surely it’s not that good? If I’m honest I quite like this.
Ambulance-chasers: The Next Generation: Fuck off.
I just think this is a complete misfire; an embarrassing mistake that Apple hasn’t quite recognised. Nice idea, maybe, but an utterly hideous disaster that seems to leave people baffled, insulted or simply very irritated by turn.
Go, you chicken fuck, go.