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March’s Worst Adverts

M+Ms advert

What a strange time for awful adverts. I can only assume it's something to do with the Conservative government. March doesn't just herald the arrival of adverts that are truly appalling - the sort that you only have to see once to recognise its hideousness - in the shape of the Admiral advert, but enduring efforts such as the Just Eat advert, Go Compare advert and Big Bad Wolf Moneysupermarket ad - or even commercials back from the dead, such as the M&Ms 'I could really use a snack' advert, arse-wipe Andrex effort and Travelodge muppets spot.

All are currently making people hurl their remote controls, pets or even spouses across the room in the vague direction of the television. An ad break that featured all of the ads mentioned above might just lead to the sort of outbreak of spontaneous mass violence that JG Ballard would have written off as too horrible to contemplate.

I don't think I've ever seen such a confluence of truly terrible adverts. As a result I've been forced into a kind of mini Worst Advert of the Year poll, a bit like an Treasury Autumn Statement. Choose your most hated ad with care - you only get one vote. I understand that's a bit like having Piers Morgan, Michael Gove and Louise Mensch in the same room and only being able to throw rotten tomatoes at one of them, but there you go.

If you must - and you can bear to put yourself through it - you can remind yourself of the horror of it all below. Just be warned - watching all of them in one go could turn you into hermit crabs.

Andrex advert

A hideous confluence of sickly kid cutesiness and someone asking you how you feel when you wipe your arse.

MoneySupermarket Big Bad Wolf advert

More omnipresent than Olivia Coleman and more awful than The One Show.

M&Ms advert

Containing the most hideous phrase you can possibly see on television right now, apart from anything that comes out of Donald Trump's mouth: "I could really use a snack."

Just Eat adverts

The Just Eat advert is less of an earworm and more of an earparasite. Don't expect to be free of it any time soon.

Travelodge advert

Jim Henson's gift to the world, hijacked in this unlovely evocation of business-trip misery.

Admiral advert

Frankly a misfire that is astonishing even for advertising. The Admiral advert is an absolute horrorshow of what happens when something goes wrong and no-one can stop it happening.

Go Compare advert

It's clear now that we will never be free of Gio Compario - just like you're never really free of sensitive skin, bad knees or Irritable Bowel Syndrome.

  • tom warner

    Sick of BBC’s Gregg Wallace who says fantastic what a dork, and time that fat geo was given the nine ten jack the opera singing has to go

  • The_Professor

    They’re all fucking awful… I genuinely don’t think I can pick a winner here.

  • Kenneth Peter Shinn

    Has to be Just Eat. Dear Lord, must we still be subjected to unfunny parodies of retro-ironic songs that wouldn’t even pass muster on the Keith fucking Lemon show? (Although Big Bad Wolf and the crappy Travelodge muppets can also go fuck themselves in the arse with a rusty chainsaw.)

  • Jim

    I feel a bit sheepish admitting this but I actually like this new Go Compare advert. It actually made me laugh! Picking the worst was tough but Admiral is my pick just for how implausibly cheap and unprofessional it is.

  • Paul LJ Catlow

    M&M’s “cupboard” (2010, UK) – so this is British-made? I thought it was an American advert that had been post-produced with overdubbed British accents….

  • Adam Morris

    I always have a soft spot for stupid dancing, so Epic Wolf is okay by me. M&M’s is pathetic and almost got my vote. The Just Eat ad might be ear cobra, but she is top eye candy for the dads. Travelodge is also a close third by a very short head, it is simply awful. The Go Compare one is bad but not nearly as annoying as previous ones. I don’t hit the remote every time it comes on, like I did previously. So It has to be Admiral for me.

    I think advertising agencies are deliberately coming up with the worst ads they can think of these days because bad adverts get more attention and more people discussing them than good ads do.

    • hardjackson

      That’s often true – certainly with the price-comparison sites. It doesn’t matter if everyone hates them – as long as people remember the brand name and some sort of association with saving money. Less true of Admiral I suspect – you want to have some sort of trust in your insurance company. I suspect the sheer annoyance engendered by this advert mitigates against that. Certainly not true of other adverts, I’d suggest.

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