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McDonald’s Punk Advert: Crimes Against Music

mcdonald's punk advert

You know what the least punk thing in the world is? McDonald's. You know what the second least punk thing in the world is? This McDonald's punk advert.

Food isn't very punk fundamentally, despite the best effort of Gary Rhodes' hair. Piercing your skin with unsterilised needles is punk. Spitting at your favourite band is punk. Starting a band in a garage, even though you can't really play is punk. Fighting is punk. Al fresco blowjobs behind youth clubs are a bit punk. Underage smoking, abusing drugs, flirting with extreme political views and vomiting on old ladies - all punk.

It's hard to think of anything that chimes less with punk's rebellious, alt, DIY ethic than a global multinational repurposing animals into the kind of sugary, salty discs fast-food joints laughingly refer to as food. When I look at the cover of Never Mind The Bollocks... I don't instinctively think "I'd like to eat a Big Mac". Likewise, when I see a McFlurry I don't go and sniff glue on a double-decker bus.

When I listen to the Buzzcocks I don't equate that music with visiting a drivethru alongside the sort of people who bundle up all the plastics and cardboard containing their high-calorie gak and throw it out the window. Although McDonalds' awe-inspiring contribution to the amount of filth on British streets does have a vague ring of 1977 about it.

I have visited McDonald's restaurants on about ten occasions in my entire life and I don't intend to add to that tally. Never have I seen a member of staff resemble anything like a model from Suicide Girls, although the co-opting of punk, grunge and goth by massive online brands pretending they give a fuck about tattoos, burlesque, beards and loud music seems to be what passes for rebellion amongst today's youth, irrespective of the fact that covering yourself in tattoos and making your ears look like well-chewed gum is just about the most conformist thing you can do in 2016.

mcdonald's punk advert pepperjack shit

Even culture's most alarming, atavistic, nihilistic movements get repackaged by rich white people and sold back to an unsuspecting generation of youngsters, flushed with hormones and keen to fit in. Today's teens, despite displaying the same outward fashions as their 1977 forbears, are much more likely to obediently spend their cash at a Maccies while Instagramming a pic of their slurry-in-a-bap rather than brick it, more's the pity.

McDonald's punk advert

Anyway, the advert itself. Why is the British teen equivalent of Ralph Malph sat in a Capri with his Dad visiting McDonald's. Would you be seen dead visiting a drive-thru with your Dad? And why a blingy Ford Capri? It's not in any way punk. Give me a clapped-out purple Austin Allegro and we'll talk. Why can't he speak? Why would anyone in their right minds eat pepperjack cheese - a material closer to plastic-coated vomit than food? What does punk have to do with a mass-market product called The Peri-Peri Chicken One, like it's an episode out of Friends. And why shit all over The Buzzcocks?

So many questions are posed by this McDonald's punk advert. The lingering one in my head - as ever - is what on earth people are thinking when they choose to actually hand over money for this shite in McDonald's.

What do you get? Diabetes with an impacted bowel thrown into the bargain.

  • Claire Williams

    Seriously have u guys got nothing better to winge about? i bet u guys are those type of folk who think their better than everyone else! Im a punk and i dont really see the issue here tbh GO AND COMPLAIN AT SOMETHING ELSE WORTH WHINGEING ABOUIT!

    • hardjackson

      Like blogs about adverts? Stick it to the man Claire! AND KEEP UP THE FULL CAPS – THEY’RE COOL AND VERY PUNK!

  • Kurt Denekamp

    Theres something about this punk girl and her attitude. She’s got super hearing to get the peri peri chicken one ready. A couple of onions lying about, chuck that in, bit of salad dont bother wearing gloves and then stare down a ginger dumb kid. Anyone know her name? I think she’s kind of sexy.

    • racyrich

      Petra Hajduk

  • Steven Greenhill

    Despite the fact I agree with all of the comment one point is missed. Turning up in a mk1 capri and having no tats and no beard is actually quite punk in these sweetly sick sterile times but the gormless gob open state loses it all and makes u realise it’s his dad’s car. And punk or not she probably wouldn’t be seen dead in mcdonalds never mind work there. However I’m glad I found someone else who finds the ad as annoying as I did. Thank fuck I was a kid in 70s and 80s. Wimpy was so much cooler ;o)

  • Ledzep5

    She’s not wearing hygiene gloves! That makes it punk!!!

    Actually, no, it’s still wank.

  • Flubflubflub

    What makes matters worse is that girl in the advert is about as punk as Justin Bieber’s left labia.

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