November 11 keywords: Stacey Solomon gammon?
For the last time this year I've trawled the AdTurds keywords from Google Analytics, which is increasingly like panning for gold in liquid shit.
For the uninitiated these are search terms used by people who ended coming to the site, so they provide a valuable insight into what people are looking for and, to an extent, what their views are.
Their views, it's safe to say, are generally negative. Obviously there's a chicken-and-egg nature to the kind of people who navigate to AdTurds, but there's devil in the longtail - those long, unwieldy, unlikely searches that reveal a lot about what people think of bad adverts.
I've jotted down the ones that caught my eye - for whatever reason - from November.
"go compare" "fuck off" - 32 instances
fuck off halifax you cunts! - 10 instances
are gay people offended by the maltesers ad?
harvester comma
women stalking towards the camera en masse like post-feminist zombies lusting after a scarf - my take on last year's M+S advert, appropriated by Janet Street-Porter
frankie cocozza crabs - this does not strike me as unlikely
freddie flintoff morrisons fucking idiot
is the little boy stacey solomabs real son iceland advert - several people seem to be under the impression that Stacey Solomon is called Stacey Solomabs or Shobalob
littlewoods christmas advert 2011 makes me cringe - you're not alone; at the time of writing this ad is duking it out with Haribo to be named worst ad of the year
racist littlewoods advert
sick advert advertising gravy with dancing cow
wow its bracing cunt
adverts with les ferdinand
andrew castle is a warty cunt who promotes accidents - allegedly
argos christmas advert walking sperm
argos paedophilic bieber advert - quite a few people picked up on this - an advert where the 51-year-old Caroline Quentin (as an alien sperm) openly lusts after the 17-year-old Justin Bieber (not far off a sperm himself
at homebase we've everything you need to have a wank - I find this hard to believe
awful ad version of wouldn't it be nice
barclays advert where are the man shoes from - a tough ask
big nose iceland adverts - one of several variations commenting on Stacy Solomon's appearance
boots here come the girls adverts are fucking annoying
cadburys final countdown ad bizarre sinister
can someone stop the halifax adverts - no, I've been trying for years
carey mulligan covered in jizz - no joy here either
Colmans
People are disgusted by the Colman's gravy advert with a dancing gravy cow
coleman's gravy advert disgusting
colemans beef gravu advert puts you off
colemans gravy advert controversy
colemans gravy advert disturbing
colemans gravy advert horrible
colemans gravy advert terrible
colman's beef gravy advert animal rights
colmans beef gravy advert complaint
colmans beef gravy advert distasteful
colmans real meat juice gravy disgusting
complaint about new colemans advert
complaint gravy advert dancing
corsodyl advert does woman really have false tooth
direct line wank humour adverts
dishwasher with talking vagina tv commercial - I refuse to believe etc.
do you need id to buy the baileys dome gateau from iceland
does anyone else find robin brown annoying - hmm
does anyone else find the condensation outside on planitherm windows annoying - I find the Planitherm advert annoying
does anyone else hate the nandos noise?
double glazing cunts
EDF Energy
Not sure what these are about as yet - taking a leaf out of Confused.com's book?
edf energy advert actress bouncing breasts
edf energy advert bouncy
edf energy advert tits
frankie cocozza staring into space m and s ad
Fuck
A frequent entry in keywords data for this site
fuck off and die morrisons advert
fuck off halifax
fuck off i'm not talking to rice uncle ben
fuck off jamie oliver
fuck off lloyds bank
fuck off nat west
fuck off wonga app on words
fuck the boots advert
fuck the fucking x factor
fuck two bitches a day advert - I refuse to believe etc.
fuck wonga
fuck you i'm terry wogan - I really hope Terry Wogan says this to people
fuck your adverts you cunts
fucking meerkat cunts fuck off you little twats - a sentence that might once have killed Mary Whitehouse stone dead
gravy boat craig colton - a bemusing and amusing juxtaposition
Halifax
Halifax inspires dreadful anger
halifax advert choir man punch fist
halifax advert choir shit go and fuck with a cactus
halifax choir advert what utter shit
halifax choir adverts are such bollocks
halifax choir adverts terrible
halifax choir adverts the cunts
halifax choir annoying
halifax choir complaints
has your childs credit history been fucked up by wonga.com
here come the fucking cunting girls
how come stacey solomon sings driving home for christmas she's jewish
how does one complain to itv about littlewoods advert
how scary does bruce look in the morrisons advert
iceland advert she never eats anything
icelands shit on a stick
is the kid in the john lewis advert darth vader?
jenson button head and shoulders masturbating
louis walsh sperm - a disturbing search query
new argos christmas ad with pervert alien
new toys r us advert subliminal messages - it's the liminal ones that concern me
prius pussy subliminal
stacey solomon gammon? - brilliant. Three words; one question mark.
the redknapps wont be so smug now - quite chilling
the ugliest child in the world haribo advert
wanking with canesten - New BBC series?
what are fucking the women like on eharmony uk
Muller
Muller's cluster-toon-fuck is appalling readers
i don't get the muller advert - is there anything to get?
i'll fucking wowcher you you cunts - This has been rising up the charts recently
what the fuck is that muller advert about
what the fuck is that new muller ad?
what the fuck is up with the muller advert
who is the guy walking with the flowers on the halifax savers account advert 2011
who shit john lennon
who would be stupid enough to use wonga
wouldn't it be nice volkswagen commercial horrible
fusion pro glide vagina - I'm guessing the answer is 'yes if you're careful'
X Factor
Confusion reigns over the M+S / X-Factor ads
why do they keep changing the m&s christmas advert
why is craig not in the m&s xfactor advert
why is frankie not on the m & s advert anymore
why is misha b last on m&s advert
why isn't johnny on the m and s advert?
Cheryl Baker
Cheryl has some dubious fans
cheryl baker big tits
cheryl baker milf
cheryl baker panties
cheryl baker tits
cheryl bakers breasts
cheryl bakers fanny
cheryl tits milk
September 2011 keywords: Can Paul Whitehouse tapdance?
For the record I doubt very much that Paul Whitehouse learned to tapdance for the sake of a five-second spot in a baffling insurance advert - but who knows eh?
If Aviva's intention with its series of unloved Paul Whitehouse adverts has been to encourage lots of bemused viewers trying to ascertain the twinkle-toed abilities of everyone's favourite cockney comic then it's certainly succeeded.
14 people typed the exact phrase 'can Paul Whitehouse tapdance' into their search engines and navigated to AdTurds last month - and there were plenty more besides. Perhaps a more valuable question may have been 'what does Avivia do again?' because, for the life of me, I can't work it out from their ads.
What else caught my eye among the AdTurds Google Analytics keyword data this month? Well, 'complain about gocompare advert psychological damage' had a certain ring to it. Could we ever see an advertiser sued for just being incredibly bleeding annoying? I'd like to think so - the streets of Soho would be lined with flattened creatives by lunchtime.
BMW's apparently-pulled Lund brothers advert has taken a hell of a lot of stick - I hope the Lunds thought their 12-month loans were worth it.
Elsewhere, someone appears to be of the opinion that the new Haribo advert - sample lyric: "Oh so smooth; love them soft; squidgy, squidy baby!" - is plagiarising John Lennon. This might, on the face of it, seem unlikely - at least to anyone who hasn't heard Double Fantasy.
The Toyota 'gadget master' ad seems to be universally disliked. Despite the fact that I think it's fairly odd - and very niche - I don't mind it, and at least Toyota is trying to lower its target demographic from somewhere around the late-50s at last.
Elsewhere it's the usual roll call of bewilderment, irritation and lust. Who'd have thought Cheryl Baker would have so many admiring fans? Has an advert every inspired such a gamut of negative emotions as the current Haribo effort? Why do so many people have it in for Louise Redknapp?
Tune in next month....
September 2011 keywords
jenson button head and shoulders awful - 23 instances
can paul whitehouse tap dance - 14 instances
gillette fusion proglide challenge guy is a twat - 13 instances
apple adverts patronising
bulmers advert plan b fuck off
compare the meerkat haters
latest haribo advert plagiarism john lennon - no idea on this one
lund brothers bmw twats
paddy power ginger twat
what the fuck is up with the haribo ad? - a heck of a good question
when are they going to get rid of that fat get on the go compare advert
"the jellied eel gazette"
advert where woman leaves her poop on the table
adverts for ants - do any exist?
adverts of haribo are retarted - the irony of this one amused me
anyone noticed confused.com advert is quite sexual? - safe to say they have
big fat pussy cat do in a cadbury egg commercial
bmw advert brothers cunts
bmw what is a latte without milk - a very good question - the Lund brothers don't seem to know
cambodia febreze
cannon and ball are fucking shit
complain about gocompare advert psychological damage
dishwashing ad where lady is looking at wine glass - there are some queries that stump even Google
doubleglazing cunts
gadget master- new toyota advert fucking sucks
gillette advert whooping volume - much too loud, though I'm unable to give a figure in decibels
ginger anger go compare ad
halifax adverts make me want to switch away from halifax - in a nutshell perhaps the whole point of this website
haribo advert very uncomfortable
has anybody got a meerkat from moneysupermarket?
have the breasts in the confused.com advert got larger? - we need to know
i don't get the jenson button head and shoulders advert
i fucking hate the new toyota yaris advert
i fucking hate the new yaris toyota advert
i fucking hate the rap toyota yaris advert
is the uk maltesers advert offensive to gay people
is voyage prive french for stuck up cunt? - I have seen this advert and can only conclude it is, given its contents
jamie oliver advertising basic sausages
lorraine kelly interviews ad star howard brown - now that I know of the existence of this video I MUST see it
my brother freddie is an actor and a model fuck off
paul whitehouse dancing cunt - no manners but what a critic
shouty fucker on t mobile advert
toby carvery stomach cramps
tv adverts with jamie and louise redknapp. as thomas cook promotes family holidays, why does the ad give the impression that they are a couple without children? - why indeed?
who's the lovely girl in the toolstation ad?
why do haribo adverts have germans speaking english
wonga advert is evil - wonga is evil
August 2011 keywords: Haribo advert torture
Haribo advert torture?
Is someone suggesting that the Haribo adverts amount to torture? That they could be used in Guantanamo to drive lads from Bolton into admitting they once went to Pakistan? Or is the reader in question suggesting they'd like to torture the people responsible for the advert? The latter seems likely, given that someone in the 'Suggest an AdTurd' section wanted to push the sweets in question up the anuses of the actors involved 'until they explode'.
Trends this month - alongside Haribo of course - showed no slowing in hatred fro Go Compare, Confused.com, Gillette and Head & Shoulders.
New entries included the Toyota Yaris advert and dear old Freddie and Adam - two brothers destined to be loathed forever by 400,00 people for their truly abysmal advert for the BMW 1 Series.
This month I was amused by the following couplet:
how stupid is louise rednapp
how thick is jamie redknapp
Not so stupid or thick that they aren't raking it in all over your TV at any given time of the day, sadly.
Meanwhile, who voices the dog in the Walls adverts? I don't know. A dog? What is a commer corn on the cob? I've been led to believe it's actually a combo piri-piri, though I'm still none the wiser to be honest.
'You're doing it wrong!' entries include such delights as 'compare your shit.com'; 'dirty adverts for shit sniffers'; 'fat girl shagged at butlins'; 'i have embezzled from charity i work for' and, bafflingly, 'based on a sample of 200 customers, flora found that 48% preferred flora buttery. calculate a confidence interval for the true proportion who prefer flora.' Is that an exam question?
Targets of AdTurds readers' dubious affections include Carey Mulligan, Louise Redknapp, Cheryl Baker and Martine McCutcheon ('i would fuck martine mccutcheon up the arse').
Meanwhile no-one seems to know if the Bulmers Plan B advert is a fake. A fake what, exactly? I've no idea, but I do know that I hate Plan B.
August 2011 keywords search phrases
gillette pro glide man idiot
who is the wanker on the gillette ad
machine fucking women driver car insurance
based on a sample of 200 customers, flora found that 48% preferred flora buttery. calculate a confidence interval for the true proportion who prefer flora.
emtions expressed while watching john lewis advert
is the voice from the gillette fusion proglider commercial the same voice from the transformer movie?
why do the people on the confused .com advert have big tits
"fuck off bt family"
"hanging out the back of it"
bap cocks
bbc cooking website suggests that muslims celebrate the end of ramadan with a nice pork vindaloo
bmw annoying advert freddie
bmw brothers advert cunts
bmw brothers annoying advert
bmw twats advert
boots commercials make women look stupid
boris johnson buggering a heron - that's one of mine
cadbury "brown bunny" racist
cadbury chocolate still tastes like crap july 2011
chicken in a biscuit advertisement bouncing boobs
compare your shit .com
confused.com advert nude
confused.com advert why boobs jiggle so much?
direct line advert who is the cock
dirty ad verts for shit sniffers
does paul whitehouse tap dance
extremely annoying haribo advert
facking vagina cream
fat girl shagged at butlins
freddie adam bmw shit advert
fucking cunting new haribo
fusion pro glide annoying little shit
gadget master toyota yaris what does her phone do?
gio compario is a cunt
go compare adverts how long do we have to put up with them
god only knows ruined by vw
haribo advert pornographic
haribo advert sucks ass
haribo advert torture
harvester advert whats a comma piri piri
harvester what is a commer corn on the cob?
has the confused.com girls tits got bigger?
head and shoulders advert rhyming then not
how longer do we have to put up with the fat prat on go compare adverts
how stupid is louise rednapp
how thick is jamie redknapp
i have embezzled from charity i work for
i would fuck martine mccutcheon up the arse
is the bulmers plan b advert real
the jacamo advert looks chavvy
the new haribo advert is the worst thing ever
vol-u-vents left they're ours paul merton
where did the saying thank crunchie its friday come from
who are the annoying cunts in bmw advert
who are those twats of the envirofone advert
whos the voice of the dog in the walls advert
July 2011 keywords: What a horrible kid
AdTurds' Google Analytics account continues to shine a light into the murkiest corners of readers' minds, so this month I stripped out most of the horrible stuff an included some new trends, stuff that simply made me laugh and some plain weird shit.
Whether or not Jacamo is actually designed for fat men, readers seem to have made up their minds. 31 queries for 'jacamo is for fat bastards' seem to indicate that the debate is over.
Elsewhere lots of people have been typing Jenson Button's bizarre dandruff soliloquy, presumably to find out what the hell he's on about, while the Gillette Fusion Proglide Challenge is, it's fair to say, really getting on people's tits.
Lots of people have bee searching for things relating to Cheryl Baker and Carey Mulligan; things that I most certainly can't furnish them with, though I'm sure there are plenty of places where 'fat lesbians fisting' can be discovered on the world wide web - and probably even 'penis loathing film' come to that, though even the internet might shrug at 'delicious turd cock'.
'Paul Whitehouse what the fuck' is probably something a lot of people have been asking of his Aviva ads the last couple of years, including Paul Whitehouse; Stephen Merchant seems to have had his stock reduced by his own set of annoying adverts (viz 'Stephen Merchant should fuck off and die'); and, as it goes, Nannette Newman is so sexy.
'The Redknapps on holiday' seems to suggest some sort of appalling reality TV show or sitcom coming to Sky 2 very soon.
'Every time i read newspaper the same toothpaste advert plays in background' suggests some sort of problem not even the internet can help with, but I'd be interested to know which brand of toothpaste.
The most worrying phrase this month is almost certainly 'people shitting in chocolate cadburys world'. That sounds like something Roald Dahl might have written in one of his 'Tales From the Unexpected' funks rather than great glass elevator moments.
What I do find interesting is the questions people demand of search engine. The identity of an extra in one ad, the shoes another is wearing, what a character in the Halifax ad is eating. Does anyone, anyone on the face of the planet know the answer to some of these?
My favourite this month? 'what a horrible kid in the vision express ad' - I've not seen the ad in question but I'll be scanning the ad breaks like a hawk from now on.
FInally, one that is actually related to ads, perhaps the motherload of all current shit ads. It kind says it all.
'why can't they bloody bury that go compare advert it's the most annoying advert on the television'.
Recurring keywords
Hate - Confused.com, Louise Rednknapp, 118 118, Lloyds TSB, Match.com, Go Compare, Halifax
Shit - 118 118, Citroen, Match.com, Pepsi Max
Awful - Fusion Proglide, Cash For Gold, Head and Shoulders, Pepsi, Confused.com, Direct Line, Galaxy
Terrible - 118 118, Spotify, Aviva, Confused.com, Direct Line, Gillette Fusion Proglide
Fuck - Confused.com, BT
Cunt - BT, Confused.com, Gillette Fusion Proglide, Gio Compario, Halifax
Tits - Chetyl Baker and Cara Confused duking it out here
July 2011 AdTurds keywords
jacamo is for fat bastards - 31 examples
"wow it's bracing"
confused.com advert ofsted complaints
gillette fusion proglide advert twat
racing spacing wow its bracing
adcunts.com
are just for men commercials deliberately stupid
bank ad campaign: students are wankers
big titted confused.com advert
boots adverts make women look stupid
bum adverts
caneston thrush advert at dinner time
carey mulligan masturbating
cheryl baker sausage
confused.com advert music played at gitmo
cunt from gillette advert
delicious turd cock
every time i read newspaper the same toothpaste advert plays in background
fat lesbians fisting
is there a bigger cunt on tv than the twat in the gillette pro-glide ad
nanette newman so sexy
neville wanless and roger mellie
obnoxious pregnant women
oops-stars.com cheryl baker nipples
paul whitehouse what the fuck
penis loathing film
people shitting in chocolate cadburys world
sainsbury's tomatoes are rubbish
stephen merchant should fuck off and die
stupid little twat from the morrisons advert
suck germaine greer
the people doing cadbury commercials are on some of that good shit
the redknapps on holiday
the sky cricket commentry team are annoying
ugly people in tesco
wanna see the womans tits in the lynx advert
what a horrible kid in the vision express ad
what car does emile heskey have - probably not a Fiat Stilo
what shoes does the man from barclays advert wear?
what the hell is that girl eating in the hsbc advert
whats the deal with that fucking gillette advert?
who is the punk neighbour on the we buy any car advert 2011?
why can't they bloody bury that go compare advert it's the most annoying advert on the television
June keywords: The man who invented Cadburys Wispas has cried
Listen, you fuckers, you screwheads. Here is a man who would not take it anymore. A man who stood up against the scum, the cunts, the dogs, the filth, the shit. Here is a man who stood up.
I used to think this about advertisers - now I think it about my readers. Because if keyword queries are anything to go by I am indeed Travis Bickle, gazing out into the world at large and disgusted by what he sees. Sex. Shit. Sex and shit. Sex and shit adverts. Cheryl Baker's breasts.
Have I created a monster? Well, perhaps, but at least blogging gives them a lightning rod with which to work out their frustrations.
This month's keywords were saved, for me, by some amusing ones, mostly beginning with 'why?'. Why is Paul Merton so smug? Why is Gary Rhodes so weird? Why is Peter Kay rubbish? And - most importantly - why does the laughing cow drink her own milk? Valuable questions we need answers to.
My favourite one was the one in the title. Was it supposed to be 'died' instead of 'cried'? Has the man who invented the Wispa died? Or cried? Would either instance have been reported anywhere? It seems unlikely, but my interest's piqued.
Is there a man who works for Cadbury's whose job it is to devise new chocolate bars? Is the Wispa just a rip-off of the Aero? What would make such a chocolate inventor weep?
We're at the very limits of what even search engines can tell us here. As with the amount of queries that seem to start with a desperate 'why?'. We can never know, nor understand why. But, for the record, Shaun Williamson has had a hair transplant; Cheryl Baker hasn't been depressed;and Shane Richie denies that he's wearing a wig.
June AdTurds keywords
jacamo is for fat bastards - 26 instances
natwest helpful banking fuck off - 11 instances
giant rotating negroid head - 6 instances
confused microphone minge
women stalking the camera en masse — post-feminist zombies lusting after a scarf - this is one of mine
"barclays adverts"cunt
"cock comparison"
"i like old movies" advert shit
"you wouldn't steal a" "fuck you, i would if i could"
advert with bad neck
advert with balloons all over the place
adverts for cancer
adverts on itv about cars and cats
andrew castle shit
anyone else hate the confused adverts
are the two women on the halifax advert lesbians and fancy each other? - certainly, to my mind
arsehole from hair advert
asda advert long haired guy talking about quiche
asian girl halifax advert yeah
bad features of the cadbury eyebrow
barry eastenders hair sean williamson transplant
bouncing pendulous boobs
bouncing tits cunts
boycott gocompare and confused.com cos of their adverts
can you buy creme eggs in december in england?
can you say shit in ads
carey mulligan pussy
cheryl baker boobs
cheryl baker getting fucked
cheryl baker milf
cheryl baker tits
confused.com ymca what the fuck cunts
cream egg pussy filler
davina mccall squeezing ass
dildo on the woman and then facking a women driver car insurance
do you see breasts in barclaycard rollercoaster advert - I feel sure it was someone's responsibility to airbrush out any offending nipples in this ad
fucked under the table secretly wife is there
garnier ultralift advert behind the scenes
go compare adverts compare these two fingers fatty
god only knows ruined by volkswagen
god only knows ruined by vw vans advert
has cheryl baker been depressed?
has shane ritchie got a wig?
has the voice of the panda of fox biscuit adverts changed
here comes the girls adverts horrible patronising
how is gender constructed in the cadbury milk tray advertisement
hsbc advert what the fuck is he cooking
i've been fucked by bray leino
ian wright carpetright advert - why would anyone want to see such a thing?
is brian big brother and cadbury monkey ad racist
is it true that the guy in the barlays was seen on a railway station and picked for the advert?
is that paul whitehouse real face
jacamo is for obese people
jack davenport big penis
jenny craig causing weird poop
lesbian halifax advert
mumford oirish
ocean finance tv why does it exist
peter jones appears in advertisements suck dick
pillsbury dougboy jizzes all over
safe use smoked sausage dildo
sean pertwee i want you
semen everywhere
sex and the erosion of shit
sex keywords used on twitter
the biggest pile of a girl 1 kg turds
the man who invented cadburys wispas has cried
twat in a ford ka
up your bingo fat bitches
website compares tits people vote on them - an opening for Confused.com?
what do you think of the jammy doger? i think it's a very arrogant biscuit - I'd love to hear the reasoning on this
whose is that bouncing tits in all the adverts
why is gary rhodes so weird?
why is paul merton such a smug knob?
why is peter kay so shit these days?
why would the laughing cow eat her own milk?
wonga idiots
wow, pretty girl is shitting? surely pretty turd
yahoo caramel girls fucked roughly
halifax ad punch myself in the face
i hate that fucking creepy birdseye bear
Recurring keywords
Annoying - 121 - Spotify a runaway here; Barclays, Direct Line Line and 118 118 running up
Shit - 154 - All the usual suspects
Fuck - 71 - Natwest and Halifax
Hate - 40 - Louise Rednknapp, Betty Crocker, Confiused.com, GoCompare, Halifax, Barclays getting it here
Cunt - 25 - Jacamo ran away with this one
C***fused.com
Suffice it to say I don't enjoy Confused.com's karaoke adverts and would gladly throw Cara Confused in the path of a particularly swift, spiky train but there's something that goes beyond a simple dislike - it's the weirdness of it all. Where are they trying to take these ads and why the odd choices of songs, bizarre pitch and peculiar details?
Chief among these is the fact that Cara apparently pulls things out of her vagina that have no business being there. Cars, laptops, flowers, a mic stand, Russell Harty...
"A-ha!," comes an inevitable response. "You noticed it, so it works!" Personally I think this argument is absolute balls, particularly when it comes to aligning your brand with cavernous vaginas, but if it keeps the guys at Confused.com Towers amused then who am I to argue?
Readers are also confused by this scatalogical, nay gynaecological, development in the adverts - hence the following actual keyword phrases people have been typing into their browsers on their journey towards the site.
Those whose curiosity develops even further may want to direct their browsers at the even-more NSFW Rule 34 website for more pictorial suggestions as to exactly what Cara has lodged up her funnel.
Cara Confused.com's fanny keywords
confused microphone minge
confused minge
confused.com advert woman getting mic stand out of minge
mic stand minge
minge mike confused .com
pull microphone out of minge
what will the confused.com lady pull out of minge
• confused.com advert woman getting mic stand out of minge
why does the woman in the confused.com advert pull a microphone out her fanny
confused dot come pull microphone stand out of fanny
confused pulling things from her fanny
confused. com microphone out of fanny
confused.co.uk microphone from fanny
confused.com advert fanny
confused.com advert laptop in fanny
confused.com advert microphone out of fanny
confused.com advert pulls from her fanny
confused.com advert woman pulls microphone out of her fanny
confused.com car out of fanny
confused.com fanny
confused.com lady pulls items out of her fanny
confused.com woman pulls a microphone from her fanny
confused.com woman pulls things from her fanny
who designed the confused.com advert with the woman getting the micro phone from here fanny?
who does the confused.com woman pull things out of her fanny
why does cara from confused.com keep the microphone up her fanny?
confused.com microphone from pussy
confused.com taking flowers out of pussy
creme egg in pussy
pic of cara from confused.com pulling mic out of pussy
confused.com vagina
confused.com advert vagina
confused.com microphone vagina
confused.com lady microphone vagina
confused.com vagina microphone
microphone vagina
cara microphone out of her vagina
clara confused vagina
confused .com advert pulling from vagina
confused .com advert pulls out vagina
confused adverts laptop vagina
confused. com vagina
confused.com ad microphone vagina
confused.com advert microphone vagina
confused.com advert somebody to love pulls mic out vagina
confused.com girl pulls mic from vagina
confused.com magical vagina
confused.com massive vagina
confused.com microphone out of vagina
confused.com pulling things out of her vagina
confused.com pulls flowers out of her vagina
confused.com pulls mic stand from vagina
confused.com pulls microphone from vagina
confused.com vagina mic
confused.com woman pulls things out of her vagina
confused.com woman pulls things out of vagina
confused.com+vagina
dodgy confused.com advert pulls phone from vagina
is the lady from confused.com pulling a microphone out of her vagina
microphone from vagina confused.com
money supermarket microphone vagina
money supermarket vagina
on the confused.com advert, does she pull the microphone from her vagina
pulls microphone out of vagina confused.com
the things the confused.com woman has pulled out of her vagina
when the confused.com lady pulls a microphone out of her vagina
why does confused.com lady pull things out her vagina
why does confused.com pull things out of her vagina
why does the confused.com woman pull stuff out of her vagina
why does the confused.com women keep pulling things out of her vagina!?!
why does the lady off confused.com pull stuff out of her vagina?
why does the woman from confused.com pull a microphone from her vagina
why is the confused.com girl pulling things out of her vagina
why is the woman in the confused.com advert pulling things out of her vagina
confused.com pulling microphone out of her vagina
confused.com woman vagina pulls
cara confused pulling stuff out of her
anyone else noticed the fact that in the confused.com advert she pulls an eintire mic and stand out of herself
confused advert pulls mic
confused advert pulls microphone
confused advert pulls microphone from
confused advert pulls microphone oout of
confused advert woman pulls microphone
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confused.com advert... she pulls a laptop out her vag ??.....
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Not only that but there's seemingly more of a trend in the more recent ads for enormous bouncing breasts all over the place...
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April 2011 keywords – They’re us, that’s all
Another month, another spreadsheet of fear, ignorance and hatred in another instalment of which AdTurds keywords have amused me this time around.
What can we glean from this month's queries? Well, that people think Shane Richie is sporting a wig, or a hair transplant. That Paul Whitehouse is really dead - eh? - and that people think the actors who play the couple in the BT adverts are a couple in real life.
And who's getting it in the neck? Well, banks and price comparison websites, predictably. But the 'Here Come the Girls' meme seems to be really upsetting people: 54 people searched for the term '"here come the girls" fuck off'.
Elsewhere, people seem to share my opinions on the Cadbury's Creme Egg adverts; people seem to think Butlins is racist, Halifax seems to have a thriving MILF economy; the chaps from the Jacamo adverts are described in less than complimentary terms; and Cheryl Baker 'would get cock'.
All told, just another tiny window into the lives of these strange, angry, horny people. But you know the worst thing about these weirdos, these losers, these freaks...?
"They're us, that's all, when there's no more room in hell..."
April 2011 AdTurds keywords
"here come the girls" fuck off - 54 queries
paul whitehouse dead
why do halifax keep making those shit adverts
cadbury goo sex
rant about confused.com advert
that fucking halifax isa isa advert
bill steele tyne tees
butlins ethnic minorities
jacamo fat bastards
masturbating onto a digestive biscuit
what's happened to ian wright tv career
why armpits make women look hot
"cillit bang" "clit bang"
"fucking" "wearing" "slippers"
118 118 adverts well annoying
advert bemused chopped in corner shop
advert for tit cream
am i the only one fucking sick of adverts??
anyone remember the piano music from cadburys advert 80s
are butlins racist
are the people off the bt advert actually married?
barclays advert justin lee collins squirrel
bouncing breasts on confused.com advert
cadbury creme egg looks like cum dripping down face after eating a girl out
cheryl baker would get cock
chickswithdicks
chris kamara idiot
cock comparison website
confused.com advert... she pulls a laptop out of her vag??
confused.com horrible brand
davina mccall vagina hair
diana ross fucking
does everest institute intentionally choose annoying people for their ads?
fuck lloyds ts
fuck off bt
fuck off nat west
fuck you tsb
gillette fusion challenge advert guy is an idiot
gooing all over your mouth
granny fucking in halifax uk
halifax advert i want it to die
i want to run a website that is similar to confused.com
is paul whitehouse dead?
is peter kay nice?
is ray parker jr. homosexual?
is that lionel richie in the walkers adverts?
jacamo for fat bastards
jj burnel talks about having sex with steve strange - funnily enough I read an interview where this discussion takes place recently
lionel richie walkers advert is he real?
mature fucking in halifax uk
music dating site queen advert
nat west helpful banking fuck off
paul merton smug
proud sponsor of mums arrogance
shane richie hair transplant
shane ritchie wig
the inside of a creme egg is like the devils sperm
the new kimberley advert is one of the three girls a man?
the racist walkers advert
three babes pissing on citroen
bum and bum together.com
March 2011 Adturds keywords – angry, angry people
It's that time again when we learn what the great British population really thinks of adverts. Well, the things they type into search engines that amuse me, anyway.
The usual cast of awful ads that enrage people, bubbling, boiling hatred, bafflement and sexual perversity. Just your typical day at the AdTurds office, really.
"here come the girls" fuck off - 50 whole queries!
what does the guy say at the end of the cadbury cream eggs advert? - 11 visits!
paul whitehouse dead
here come the sodding girls
i hate louise redknapp
confused.com advert breasts
louise redknapp stupid
neville wanless
confused.com lady microphone vagina
did confuse . com used to be a comparison website
jacamo fat cunt
lick the chocolate off the patula
louise redknapp thick
who is the fat little cunt in moneysupermarket?
"isa isa baby my fucking arse"
adverts about masturbation
adverts involving masturbation
adverts with metrosexuals
annoying fat bastard in jacamo advert
asparagus cocks
barclays ads voice over 2011 cunt
barclays ads, annoying twat
barclays adverts is absolutely the worst i have ever seen
bmw adverts are not owned by people who can afford it
boobs confused.com chain reaction
boots here come the girls flu shit
bouncing breasts on confused.com advert
bt + tell them to fuck off about thier adverts
bt jane bitch
bt jane nipple slip
bukkake creme egg
creme egg ejaculation
creme egg cum
creme egg jizz
carey mulligan masturbates
confused pulling things from her fanny
confused.com taking flowers out of pussy
creme egg explosion advert
creme egg orgasm
creme eggs cum
do isa isa baby up the arse
eastender hair transplant
funny dog rape advert 2010
get this shit off my screen, confused.com
halifax advert cunts
having to shit in a leotard
how to be a twat wine critic
i hate adverts with children in them
i want to smash louise redknapp
isa isa baby actress death threats
little chinese girl with a talking cake advert
looks like cream egg ejaculating
marco pierre white bernard matthews idiot
men in ties fucking men
milfs who want shagging halifax uk
sane men to murderous havoc
sausage as dildo
shane richie hair piece
twazmuppet
we buy any car for fuck all
what are the words to the spam up advert?
what does chris jacob think on ford fiesta?
what's the advert about when the woman pulls the microphone from her bottom?
why armpits make women look hot
why do they always make dads look stupid in commercials
chupa chups ants assessed