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PETA’s Latest Advert Recommends Facials

And true to form, I'm not talking about moisturiser, but "an opaque liquid" all over a "startled woman whose face is drenched" with the stuff, in PETA's own words.

The billboard, in Nottingham and removed on the same day after complaints, was described the local newspaper as looking like "the aftermath of a sex act", which makes it sound like some grisly crime scene. So, what's going on here?

PETA wants you to stop drinking milk (and, by extension, cheese, cream, butter and all the stuff based on dairy) for reasons that are not unreasonable. But to do this it's invoking what is known on the internet as a facial (or bukkake, depending on your view on exactly how much sperm we're looking at). Don't swallow ladies, they're suggesting, let your man jizz all over your face. Or throw milk all over your face, I'm not sure.

PETA dairy

I'm not sure what that would accomplish, however. Presumably you'd still have to buy the milk, which rather defies the point. But why would you buy the milk, refuse to swallow it and spray it all over your face?

The other reading of this advert suggests that this isn't even an innuendo - it's a straight-up suggestion that you let people come on your face. But that would imply that it's bad for you to swallow semen, which it isn't, as I'm always telling [redcated to avoid awkward conversation].

"Some bodily fluids are bad for you," they say - but are they talking about milk, or sperm, or both? Which rather begs the question whether vegans swallow sperm or not for moral reasons.

More than that - and in light of PETA's other campaigns in recent years - it begs the question whether there's anyone at PETA who has the vaguest fucking clue about what planet they're on.

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Sky – Believe In Better

I'm not especially a fan of Sky, the Death Star of the TV world that's currently busy hoovering up everything value it can possibly get its grubby mitts on as part of Rupert Murdoch's (the Emperor) endless attempts to destroy the BBC.

Sky's thing is all about convincing you that it's a premium product, but it has never really been any such thing. Weighted down with an embarrassment of riches of US imports and sport it's a serious proposition, but Sky's efforts to craft its own programming over the last 20 year have frequently been cringe-inducing.

Perception, however, is everything with stuff like this - and a new generation of TV consumers will grow up thinking Sky is a necessity; that perceived value everything in this context.

Which makes this poster I spotted a couple of years ago all the more embarrassing. Ha ha.

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