AdTurds Bad Adverts – Badverts

11Oct/170

Bum Deal: Jerusalem / Tel Aviv Advert

I don't have a lot to say about this, other than remark on the astonishing amount of air time devoted to this lady's bottom in an advert currently airing for holidays in Jerusalem / Tel Aviv.

Leaving aside more contentious issues about holidaying in Jerusalem et al, it all looks rather lovely. That is, if you're able to drag your eyes away from this young lady's lovely bottom.

I must say I barely noticed that the lady in question, dragging you around bits of the country with her come-hither eyes, has a remarkable access-all-areas pass that allows her walk through restaurant kitchens - smiling at a grill - and jump queues at will.

Aside from wondering whether it's such a good idea to display the word WIND right next to said arse, I was staggered by the ubiquitous appearance of this actress's derriere. Apart from the last series of Piers Morgan's Life Stories, has there ever been such a high concentration of arse seen on television in recent year?

You might suggest that its hardly avoidable to show so much rump on-screen, given that she usually has her back to us, but there's scarcely a shot that doesn't manage to find room for her butt. And if you think this is a coincidence you probably also believe the NHS is going to be £350m richer every month after May 2019.

So, yes, it's all rather shameless - and very bottom-heavy. Don't believe me? Never fear - I have painstakingly recorded the many shots of this Israeli bum for, er, posterity. Well, it is a lovely bottom.

Oh, there's a shot of her chest at the end too.

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13Dec/144

PETA’s Latest Advert Recommends Facials

And true to form, I'm not talking about moisturiser, but "an opaque liquid" all over a "startled woman whose face is drenched" with the stuff, in PETA's own words.

The billboard, in Nottingham and removed on the same day after complaints, was described the local newspaper as looking like "the aftermath of a sex act", which makes it sound like some grisly crime scene. So, what's going on here?

PETA wants you to stop drinking milk (and, by extension, cheese, cream, butter and all the stuff based on dairy) for reasons that are not unreasonable. But to do this it's invoking what is known on the internet as a facial (or bukkake, depending on your view on exactly how much sperm we're looking at). Don't swallow ladies, they're suggesting, let your man jizz all over your face. Or throw milk all over your face, I'm not sure.

PETA dairy

I'm not sure what that would accomplish, however. Presumably you'd still have to buy the milk, which rather defies the point. But why would you buy the milk, refuse to swallow it and spray it all over your face?

The other reading of this advert suggests that this isn't even an innuendo - it's a straight-up suggestion that you let people come on your face. But that would imply that it's bad for you to swallow semen, which it isn't, as I'm always telling [redcated to avoid awkward conversation].

"Some bodily fluids are bad for you," they say - but are they talking about milk, or sperm, or both? Which rather begs the question whether vegans swallow sperm or not for moral reasons.

More than that - and in light of PETA's other campaigns in recent years - it begs the question whether there's anyone at PETA who has the vaguest fucking clue about what planet they're on.

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