AdTurds Bad Adverts – Badverts

Suggest An AdTurd

Tell me about the worst advert currently on television - the one that really grinds your gears, the one that makes you switch off, hurl obscenities at the television or simply throw yourself out of the window.

The Admiral advert, Tesco advert or Just Eat advert? Or long-running series from the likes of Money Supermarket, Confused.com or Go Compare? Or simply the newest thing that had you gouging your face in annoyance.

I'll try to track down the worst offenders and give them the AdTurds treatment. It won't change anything - but it might make you feel very slightly better about the world.

Browse the old comment section - with over 1100 comments complaining about adverts - for more misnathropy.

Do your worst - but keep it civil. No personal abuse - and anything that smacks of bigotry in any way will be deleted and the user banned. That means:

    No racism.
    No sexism.
    No homophobia.

  • Lina Grinch

    Clearscore….what’s that all about?? 2 sluggish people on the sofa with monotone voices ,not sure what they were trying to achieve by this . But just eat and go compare are the worst, glad they’re on the list.

    • Sharon Presland

      Aaaagh when that woman asks him so rudely, no, TELLS him to check their credit score while the poor devil is just trying to chill in front of the tv.Then she puts her foot on his face. And in the second version she insults his Nan too. She wants a slap. End of.

  • Melrose blue

    Oral B Pro ad is patronising, cheesy and features an actress who may be one of the most annoying people on TV since Mylene Klass showed her face (that’ll be about 5 minutes then!!!)

  • tom warner

    My suggestions for ad turds would be the current go compare add, (Gregg Wallace as taxi driver) he keeps repeating ooawwwh fantistic ,total bollox
    the there’s the money supermarket ads like this one http://www.moneysupermarket.com/hubs/moneysupermarket-tv-ad/

  • Paul LJ Catlow

    Jesus, now they’ve moved on from Top Cat. And are flogging mortgages to the fucking Flintstones. Who’s next – Deputy Dawg? The Jetsons? the Wacky Races mob? (Dick Dastardly as bank manager… there’s a thought).

  • Rachel Lucas

    Please please do a post on the Jacobs Cracker Crisps nightmare…now they have ditched the pathetic mini-chef (handily named Jacob) peddling around in his little Noddy-car trying to tell everyone that he makes all the cracker crisps and they should vote for him…but they have replaced him with some terrifying bridesmaids sitting around gurning to Ride/Right on Time…or the equally scary woman at the aquarium with her young son frightening the life out of the fish with her weird singing as she crams in the cracker crisps. Just awful.

    • Paul LJ Catlow

      Rachel, you would not want to know about the new advert where a bunch of be’acne’d teenage boys are lip-syching to Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart” whilst munching Jacob crackers. The only sane person in the ad is the presumed mum who looks on in utter and total disbelief at her wazzock of a son and the spotty nerds who are probably the only friends who’ll put up with him. Gods know, Bonnie Tyler’s ballad is insanely over-the-top even by rock standards. Avoid this advert. It makes you want to go out and get Totally Pissed As A Fart.

      • Rachel Lucas

        Totally agree, Paul…one of the worst series of ads out there. And the way the open bags are singing along too, while nestled in the boys’ crotches is faintly disgusting too…wrong on every level!!

  • Marion Cowell Ward

    The advert for Cordosyl is the worst by far of adverts on tv just now. The one where the semi naked woman has a bad dream and spits out her teeth. Them she wakes up, looks in the mirror and she really has lost a tooth. “For people who spit blood when they brush their teeth”. Utterly vile.

  • Tadni

    just seen the new Crunchie ad…what were they thinking?

  • P H

    All the Moneysupermarket ads. I will never use them because of those adverts.

  • Charles Robertson

    Barclays advert, where the woman keeps turning the lamp on & off. I would love to stick that lamp, where the sun don’t shine…

  • AdrianM

    Marks and Spencer. The music they use is so overrated and getting old. It does my head in every time the ads come on, extremely irritating. Please change your adverts.

  • Mark

    I felt compelled to vent my spleen over this ad; thread or no thread. The Halifax Top Cat ad is cringeingly terrible; unfunny, and the silly mare with an I.Q. lower than a cat’s is the worst part of it.

    Well done for assessing a cat’s repayment abilities based upon being a feline, with no prospect of work or income. It’s a cat for fucks sake – stupid bint.

    Maybe people should go into Halifax with sob stories about police harassment and prompt a ‘that’s awful’ response; followed rapidly by a rubber stamped mortgage. Well done for attempting to insult everyone’s intelligence Halifax.

    • Paul LJ Catlow

      it’s just got worse. Yabba-dabba-fucking-doo.

  • Don’t Want Kids

    Aldi Mamia Nappies adTURD!
    1. Women screaming during childbirth = no place on an advert when I am trying to drink my tea.
    2. Some flabby, man-boobed wanker pops out of her gash dangling car keys = WHAT! THE! FUCK!
    3. Fucking adTurd was watched on mute, so have no idea what the ever so funny punchline was supposed to be.

    Fuck off Aldi. End of.

  • vrex622

    How I hate that stupid ovo energy ad.That moron dressed as a lion,that woman with the weird fringe gurning with pleasure at her phone while she gets ripped off topping up her pay as you go meter.So utterly depressing that there are people out there that can be influenced by this shit.

  • Michael

    Wow, quite a few anti Scottish comments. Thought it was about adverts? Not prejudice! Silly me.

    • Begby From Trainspotting

      Dumbass. It IS about adverts i.e. the blatant mis-use of Scottish accents by ad agencies because they did some market research 18 years ago which determined that a Scottish accent was the most “trustworthy” sounding one, while a Scouse accent was the least. The absolute overkill of adTURDS using gormless sounding Scotts is annoying to say the least. That isn’t prejudice, it is just a fact. Deal with it, or get te fuck, ya wee gadge.

  • Richard

    The new Mikado adturd….dear god why!

  • Gladys Willesey-Smyth (age 97)

    “Poo stains? Don’t worry about poo stains…”

    Bitch, I am trying to eat my mother-fucking breakfast! FUCK OFF!

  • Gillian Tamworth (aged 92)

    ALL of the fucking funeral insurance adTURDS!!!!1111

    Jesus H Fucking Christ, what is it with the parasytes in this cuntry? They will literally try and make money from fucking anything, and everything.

    Poor old pensioners being guilt tripped into buying fucking funeral insurance, so that they don’t saddle their loved ones with expenses of over £7,000 for their funerals. What the FUCK???!!!!!1111

    Look, if the poxy, thin sliced packet of ham faced David Cam-MORON managed to puch SIX MILLION POUNDS of tax payer money out of his fucking arse to bury that disgrace Thatcher, then they can fucking well find the £125 needed to cremate me. And if they cant do that, they can throw my rotting corpse into a fucking ditch and let the crows pick my bones.

    But I will NOT pay £1.52 a week for the rest of my miserable fucking existence to some twats in suits so that my off-spring have one less thing to worry about. Fuck off!

  • carol

    the beagle st insurance ad is a load of crap and very annoying

  • Box Black

    Jacobs Cracker Crisps. Wanker’s adTURD with literally THE most annoying song in the history of life on earth (Black Box “Right On Time”).

    Stick to cream crackers you fuck-pigs.

  • Casey Fluffbutt

    I have to say – My AdTurds… ANY advert with dancing in it.

    AND it’s getting worse – gambling, furniture, clothing for brain dead bimbos, kids sweets, kids clothing, banks… food…

    You name it, there’s a bastard dancing advert for it.

    And the horrible thing is that they KNOW that people will respond to the “buy this thing and you, too, will be this happy/popular”.

    I refuse to buy anything from a dance advert company… even if I want or need it… I’ll buy elsewhere!

  • Pinkertons

    BT advert. Some American who I have never seen before, and have zero clue who he is, appears to think he is a super star.

    At least when wanky insurance companies use Americans (inappropriately) to advertise U.K. companies they use ones that people have heard of and seen in films.

    Also, BT Infiniti is a JOKE! “fastest ever speed”. Yawn, balls scratch. Guess BT has never been compared itself to international competition. Customers in Scandinavian countries can order 100 mbps broadband. Nearly 10 times faster than BT Infiniti! Hell, even Romania has faster average broadband than GREAT britain….

    Instead of wasting money on American actors that no one has heard of, invest in proper fibre. Dumbasses.

  • RoshiTheDelcatty

    The toolstation adverts piss me off. Basically, a smug twat tries to stop an even more smug twat from noticing he’s having sex with another smug twat, all while a seriously smug and up-themselves twat is whistling smugly.

    Utterly awful.

  • Paul Gascoigne

    The Always advert ‘”because I’m a woman” does that mean I will conquer the field or crack under pressure?’ What? Why does being a woman mean you wouldn’t? Who’s said you can or can’t, will or won’t? Whats with the attitude and what’s gender got to do with it? It doesn’t mean that all women are great footballers any more than it means all men are, it makes no sense, just play the game or do something else.

    • Paul LJ Catlow

      no, love. It’s not because you’re a woman. it’s because an inexorable law of footie, there since the game began, dictates that when picking sides for a game, the worst player always gets stuck in goal where they can do least harm and might even stop a few shots. You’re between the sticks because you’re crap anywhere else.

  • Tool Station

    Homebase adTURD. No expense spent. MAXIMUM irritation achieved. Pat yourself on the back SIR Martin Sorrel for that piece of TURDery.

    White background, the word HOMEBASE across the screen, coupled with some ***** spouting an endless stream of fucking consciousness, reeling off 500 words a minute, about God only knows what????!!!1111

    SHUT.
    THE.
    FUCK.
    UP.
    *****!!!!!!

  • Sir Sartin Morrel

    Halifax “Top Cat” adTURD.

    WHAT.
    THE.
    FUCK!!!!!!111111

  • Tiffy23

    The Sing Your Heart Out advert. Bunch of sad, desperate, attention seekers, singing and dancing to shite songs in their cars while driving. No wonder youngsters have so many crashes if this is what they’re encouraged to do while driving.

  • Professor Gordon Flaps

    The Sing Your Heart Out advert with a load of attention-seeking twats driving distractedly is offensive and irresponsible. Also everyone in it needs cleaning with fire.

  • The_Professor

    Halifax and Top Cat. Thanks for trampling over my childhood to sell mortgages, you awful Libor rigging c*nts

  • Lewis Adams

    Old el paso tortilla kit – Pro EU version.
    Pro EU side getting very desperate, who owns Old el paso brand, I bet they aren’t British.

    • hardjackson

      Are you suggesting that Britain Stronger In Europe are spreading pro-EU propaganda via a tortilla manufacturer? And wouldn’t you want the makers of your Tex-Mex food to be from the Americas? Think I’d prefer that than Bolton personally.

  • Chris

    The Vanish Shit…. i mean Tip exchange is back, which I had a look on the other day out of curiosity. And all the solutions were to use Vanish surprisingly, what a pointless pile of poop it is

  • randomvelcro

    This girl climaxing over some bad gambling. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0wETOhtMHUk

  • Dr Jeffry Titmouse

    Finish dishwashing SHYTE. Bunch of idiotic fuck-pigs crying and bawling. WHAT. THE. FUCK!!!!1111

    Seriously, what sort of CUNT would devise an advert that literally requires one to mute the TV or change channel when it comes on? Is this some scientifically tested method of successful marketing? FUCK FINISH DISHWASHING SHYTE!

  • Kissry Henringer

    The new Dominos Pizza adTURD. Makes me want to kill EVERYONE! HORRIBLE, just HORRIBLE!

    • James Hobbs

      This. Assuming you mean the ads with the ‘hilarious’ superimposed mouths.

      Adturds has rightfully attacked Dominoes before for their bad adverts, but this one must be the worst. I can’t fathom the thought process that advertising execs went through where they thought ‘this is so funny and is bound to show our product in a good light’. Making stupid noises with some ham actors wouldn’t even entertain Cbeebies watchers, yet alone the general public.

      Oh, and their pizzas are overpriced, oversalty cack too.

      • Kissy Henringer

        The same.

  • Reverend Inconstantine III

    Arla Skyr Icelandic Yoghurt advert. Cliched lies about some nondy in icelan eating this donkey vomit and growing up to be a strong Viking. Meanwhile, the small print that pops up on the Ad Turd admits that this bollocks as actually “Made in Germany”. Well, chalk that up as another success for Angela Hitler-Merkin then, another brick in the fucking German Empire 4th Reich wall, and another nail in the coffin for the EU.

    FUCK THE EU. FUCK ARLA’S GERMANY (ICELANDIC) YOGHURT. FUCK FALSE, ANNOYING FOREIGN ACCENTS IN ADVERTS. AND FUCK THE FACT IT’S SATURDAY AND FUCKING RAINING. AGAIN!

    • Steph

      Jeez dude, switch to decaf

  • Lewis Adams

    Emmerdale sponsored by McCain advert before programme impersonating goggle box?

  • Lewis Adams

    Thomas Cook advert – annoying shark finned kid dancing around a pool.

    • Populous Cavity

      Concurred. They have an abridged version now specifically advertising Turkey. TURKEY!!!! FOR FUCK SAKE! Are the zombies in Britain REALLY that fucking dumb that they would even remotely contemplate going on holiday to TURKEY in 2016??? Watch the fucking News people. As for Thomas Crook, they should be put out of business for encouraging people to go to Turkey, FFS.

      • ghj

        I go every year with my turkish mum and my dad, haven’t died yet.

        • hardjackson

          Yeah I’d go to Turkey in a flash. It’s Blackpool that’d worry me.

    • Lewis Adams

      And that annoying kid too, I think that lifeguard might just want to finish for the day.

  • Mac

    How about that Oral-B advert with the dodgy dentist sitting in the
    background with a fucking clipboard. Guess they cut the bit out where the girl comes round after
    the anesthetic & finds out her underwear is on the wrong way round . dirty bastard

  • Guncriminal .

    You’re not going to let Domino’ s Pizza get away with that “Lost For Words” turd, surely?

  • billo

    I absolutely hate the frey bentos ad on itv4 at the moment. It’s sponsoring the evening shows I think. It’s basically a bald idiot sitting in front of the TV eating a pie…. and being really annoying in the process. Supposed to be funny but he’s just so over the top dumb I have to change the channel.

    • Max Bennie

      Misread “sponsoring” as “poisoning” there for a moment.

  • WillW

    The Clearscore advert; must the cheapest , most unimaginative advert , ever!
    Consist of two tortoises placed on a laptop, with a un-funny voice-over. That’s it! My 6 year old son could have done better.

  • Bradley Walsh-Turd

    TSB Plus Account advert. Gets on my fucking tits! Here’s why.
    1. Arsehole annoying whislting music all the way through it, which gets louder and louder until the fucking windows shatter when it hits the high note.
    2. That obligatory, iritating, hideous Scottish accent of the dumb broad doing the narration.

    Newsflash, this just in: of ALL the languages in the world, the Scottish accent is THE most disgusting to listen to. Hell, even Dutch is like liquid silk compared to the “kittens in a sack getting bludgeoned to death” that is a woman talking in Scottish.

    If I don’t have the remote control when this shit-bag TSB Plus Account adTURD comes on the TV I feel like throwing a fucking table at it just to stop my ears from bleeding.

  • Polly Pissable Pants

    Looking for help here. There was a Sky advert a few years back which had a bunch of zombie 20 somethings sitting in front of mindless drivel on a TV. Then, as the camera panned round, it was clear that the rear of their heads were totally hollowed out. There was no skull, no brain, just some Heath Robinson looking cogged contraption going round. Think it was around 2008???

    At the time I found these ads unsettling, disturbing, distasteful, and offensive.

    I have been unable to track them down online though. Does anyone else remember these?

    Talk about an unsubtle way of depicting the British public as literal brainless zombies, cannon fodder for Ruper “The Cancer” Murdoch’s never ending Sky empire (shudder). Submliminal messaging? Nah, just utter contempt on the part of Sky’s adturd agency…

    • hardjackson
      • Mike Hunt-Wiffs

        Yeah, that looks like it. Guess it wasn’t Sky after all, lol. All I remember was some ZOMBIE looking dame, with half her head missing, and a total ZOMBIE expression on her ugly boat race.

        You sir are an Ad Turd EXPERT!

        • Mark

          Hardjackson is the moderator – keeps an archive I guess.

  • Barry Scott

    Not sure if this qualifies? Adverts for the BBC so-called quizz show “Pointless”. OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD!

    I LITERALLY cannot watch or listen to Alexander Armstrong. I just LITERALLY want to punch him in the face repeatedly.

    And as for that horse faced prick with National Health glasses and freak eyes, whatever his name is, he wouldn’t look out of place in a re-make of Carry On Screaming.

    • Lewis Adams

      What, the dictionary guy on pointless ? I never really watch it, it needs removing or updating because is just soooooo boring. To be honest, i don’t really ever watch BBC because most of it is just a pile of shit then they ask for a TV license fee

  • Barry Scott

    This is one advert that really SHOULD have made it through the censorship board (watch to the end…).

    • Max Bennie

      Thank you.

  • Sweaty Sock

    Beagle Street.com

    It took me ages to actually figure out what that stupid fucking talking dog was trying to say (ad agencies, a word to the wise: a stupid Manchester accent shouting “trousers are lethal” to the lip synch cartoon of a dog is 99.9999% impossible to discern. You idiotic twats).

    I want that dog to get run over by that dustbin lorry.

  • Sweaty Sock

    Every single advert that uses a Scottish accent. Why? Because 20 years ago some market research wankers determined that “Scottish accents are the most trustworthy among people surveyed”. Since then every Tom, Dickhead and Harry have stuck annoying, difficult to understand, iritating Scottish accents on every bleeding advert, from TSB to everything else. I REFUSE to give my money to any company that uses Scottish voiceovers. Fact.

  • Dr Eccelstone

    Count the number of adverts in which there is a mixed race couple. You will be shocked. I don’t know ANY mixed race couples. Yet if adverts are to be believed, around 75% of couples are mixed race. Why?

    • hardjackson

      I know a lot of mixed race couples. In fact all of my friends who are non-White are in what you might call mixed-race relationships. As far as advertising is concerned it makes perfect sense: why not signal that you’re a business for white people, black people, Asian people and the whole damn shooting match?

      • Prof Stevens

        Two reasons.
        1. Because it’s part of a wider political agenda. The govts of the EU are trying to force multi-culturalism down everyone’s throats, from the flood of refugees + opportunistic economic migrants, to unrepresentative mixed race representations in adverts.
        2. TV advertising is very expensive, and therefore is supposed to employ the “rifle” approach i.e. target specific potential customers (vs the “shotgun” approach of just hoping to attract anyone). White people, black people, Asian people, and all the myriad of sub-groups therein require targeted marketing as they have disparate aspirations, needs and desires.

        I personally do not know any mixed race couples, nor have I ever met any. Yes, it’s safe to say I do not live in London or the film set of some ad turd being created…

    • Paul LJ Catlow

      Making up – and possibly overcompensating – for a long, long time where no black or coloured faces appeared in adverts – at all? Adverts exist to shift goods and make money. And black British people do get the same coin of the realm as white people do, and have to make the same sort of purchasing decisions which adverts are there to influence….

    • Jon Harris

      When these trendy Wendy’s…show over cooked ‘inclusion’ it is a form of racism, without them knowing it. A sort of blatant flag waving, but I do know some mixed couples, but rare..

      • hardjackson

        Nonsense. As I said above I know loads of mixed race couples.

        • Jon Harris

          Probably if you are in an urban area ..yeah I suppose you would. Personally I have no problems with it…

  • Cazzy K Bauer

    The Hive advert. With the stupid bard. I hate that advert. I want to throw the tv through the window. Probably followed by myself due to the song being permanently imbedded in my brain.

    • Combat King 0

      Control your heating when you’re not home? Why not turn it off? If there’s nobody there, who’s going to benefit from it?

    • Steve Berriman

      Exactly that prat whoever he is gets on my tits!!!!

    • adam

      spot on, the song is aggravating as hell and there’s just no need to control your thermostat with a phone. technology for the sake of having it. waste of researchers time and money.

  • Alienela

    The sun life advert with the girl wearing a headset with ONE MASSIVE EYE – freaks me out every time I see it.

  • MJT

    Vanish tip exchange!! God I hate it. Grinning morons sharing tips such ‘as rub this on it’ and then others posting congratulatory messages because they are somehow amazed that a detergent can clean things.

    • Disturbed Viewer

      Seconded – please deal with this shit in typical AdTurd manner.

      Who believes this crap ….? Leave your tip on the website and then every f@@@ing idea is use a Vanish product. Vacuous, YouTube generation inspired nonsense that surely a five year old can see through.

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