AdTurds Bad Averts – Badverts –

Suggest An AdTurd

Tell me about the worst advert currently on television - the one that really grinds your gears, the one that makes you switch off, hurl obscenities at the television or simply throw yourself out of the window.

The Admiral advert, Tesco advert or Just Eat advert? Or long-running series from the likes of Money Supermarket, Confused.com or Go Compare? Or simply the newest thing that had you gouging your face in annoyance.

I'll try to track down the worst offenders and give them the AdTurds treatment. It won't change anything - but it might make you feel very slightly better about the world.

Browse the old comment section - with over 1100 comments complaining about adverts - for more misnathropy.

Do your worst - but keep it civil. No personal abuse - and anything that smacks of bigotry in any way will be deleted and the user banned. That means:

    No racism.
    No sexism.
    No homophobia.

  • Pad

    Happy eggs ,let’s look at the happy chickens rather that twats dancing

  • Pad

    Fray Bentos pie adverts , what are they trying to convey ? Some moron sat eating a pie on his own watching tv with his partner asking stupid questions who want some to aspire to be like these people ?

  • Rab

    Bank of Scotland Scottish actor spouting pretentious pish in shit locations

  • cornz

    New Toys “R” Us sang by and I use the term loosely, “choirs”..
    The march of the xmas ad earworms is coming.

  • This clunky ad for Halloween is cringeworthy. I can see what they were trying to achieve but it’s just not working. Dubbed in and unclear voices with bad acting really kill it.

  • ThatBoyNeedsTherapy

    Sorry, one more:

    How about the blog author’s thoughts on this god-awful tendency for ads in the last 2-3 years to feature dreadfully twee and breathy vocal renditions of famous songs? It is guaranteed to make me hit the mute button in real anger. The current turd in the fruit bowl is that shockingly shite rendition of Black’s ‘Wonderful Life’. There have been too many in recent years to count, and I strongly suspect it is to save money in licensing the original among other reasons.

    Make it stop you fucking clueless execs.

    • Steph

      Yes. I also frequently go on living room rants about ‘all these anaemic, sparrow-voiced insults to good music’.

      • Jon Harris

        Especially that Llyods Bank ad with fawning Birdy singer…I got slagged off for being grump on another forum…saying that song was a pile of shite…

  • ThatBoyNeedsTherapy

    The Virgin Media ads, currently running with brattish fucking kids claiming TV ownership over their stereotypically dumb fathers. Sick and tired of the pandering to kids in media – “we are 7 and you are not” – not funny in the least.

    And how about a piece on the longest-running adturd in history – THAT fucking Galaxy Hepburn rip-off torture.

  • hardjackson

    A comment arrives from Hannah Spanner:

    I just want to get a few off my chest, first off any Maltesers ad but particularly the one with sign language, which is fine but I do not need the revolting over amplified mouth sounds at 500 decibels. On the subject of amplification, any ad with violently over-sibilant women’sssss voicesssss like the Natwest ‘we’ve been thinking about nutsssss and boltssssss ‘ one, which incidentally sounds like Theresa May, also Yakult, and Morrissssonssssss ‘The Bessssst’ range. The over-enunciated massively amplified and exaggerated ‘s’ and ‘t’ sounds go right through me, like clashing cymbals ringing in my ears, deeply uncomfortable and painful to listen to. Who thinks it sounds good? Why do people keep doing it? Where do they find these awful voiceover people? Do they talk like that in their normal life? If so they must find themselves dodging physical violence pretty regularly. Schpock the ‘boot sale’ app. WTF is a boot sale, do you not mean a car boot sale? Twat. Surface Pro ‘I’m Anne Howard’… ‘Our technology needs to hang tough with us’, taking smugness into the stratosphere. Ahhh that’s better.

  • Charles Robertson

    Thanks AdTurds for censoring my last comment. Apparently, wanting to shoot the ANIMATED penguin on the British Gas adverts, is a mortal sin. Get over yourselves AdTurds…

    • hardjackson

      Actually I didn’t censor it. I just didn’t approve it in the first place because I busy was having a life. But since your comment smacks of the sort of wailing-child entitlement I see more and more directed at me I have, in actual fact, censored it for the sheer hell of it.

      • Charles Robertson

        Apologies. But Disqus is misleading at times. One moment comments are viewable. Then they disappear…

        • hardjackson

          I can dig an apology. Cheers.

          • Charles Robertson

            I didn’t explain myself very well though.
            When I am logged in [to Disqus], I was under the impression that unmoderated comments, authored by the user, still remain viewable to the logged in user, after successive page refreshes.

            Obviously, this is not the case, but I might make this a feature request to Disqus

            But, thank you for accepting my apology.

          • hardjackson

            My impression is that it always gives the boilerplate ‘your message will be visible when approved by a moderator’ thing until it’s approved.

  • SternStern

    Natwest: ‘we are what we do’…….

  • Mazzastock

    The advert for Corsodyl mouthwash is the worst thing on television. The sight of the woman spitting out her teeth is vile. GSK have defended their “hard hitting” advert. To me the thing is indefensible.?

    • Steph

      It’s just stupid besides anything else. The rest of the teeth are perfect, so do all these models just have a vendetta against one single tooth? Dumb.

  • Charles Robertson

    Moneysupermarket.com. Just thinking about this ad, makes me want to get my sledgehammer out & smash the TV into the twilight zone. So, originally there was one fat, ugly, gobshite builder doing a pole dance. The image of a hairy builder’s crack is bad enough, but this was just the start of the nightmare. Next, we are presented with a bald headed transvestite, arsing about in a denim skirt. But the irritation factor continues to escalate. These two complete fuckwits are now facing off. So, now we have double the pain & frustration. But, the climax was yet to come. Now, there are clones of each character, writhing & gyrating. It’s almost as if the ad agency, thought “how can we really piss off our audience?” Lets just multiply the source of the frustration, until we manage to turn a bad advert into a terrible one.

    Moneysupermarket.com, do us a favour, and stick these two idiotic adverts where the sun don’t shine.
    Alternatively, strap these arse bandits to the end of a rocket and blast them into the outer reaches of the solar system.

  • Charles Robertson

    The Nationwide poem adverts make me want to nail my eyeballs to the wall. These adverts are so irritating, I actually have to mute the sound & turn on the TV guide to obscure the screen. The poems convey absolutely nothing about the brand at all. This is probably because the brand itself is more boring than a wet weekend in Grimsby.
    Nonsensical, meaningless diatribe.
    The Nationwide would deliver a far more interesting advert, if they just took the piss out of themselves.

  • Poppins

    That irritating women singing “that’s amowey” in the car ad. Get someone who can pronounce their words properly. Who is she btw?

  • Bart Littlebird

    The Uncle Ben’s advert – “I want yoooo to show meee the waaay…” Right, you’re scoffing crisps in front of the TV with your child but you suddenly get an attack of conscience that you should teach them how to cook properly. What you do is grab a pack of microwave uncle bens rice and show them how to ‘cook’ it for 2 minutes. Ping! Job done! The kid now knows how to make dinner

    • Chris

      Agreed, I hate that one, the patronising “you have a big influence on your kids, teach them the life lesson of cooking”, coming from a company that goes out of its way to make things you don’t have to actually “cook”, my kids can throw a bag in a microwave and press the minute button twice, it makes me laugh as much as those old KFC ads that featured a sort of “interview” with one of their workers on his early aspirations on a career as a chef(which had been “accomplished” by working at KFC)

    • VDO

      The worst aspect (aside from all of it) is how unendearing the singing is. The otherwise-unbookable brat of some deluded person involved with the ad? Aack! Encouraging them to make that noise is ≥ encouraging them to make narcotics.

  • Steph

    Fiat Tipo Amore advert.

    ‘Something something wheels and it gives you the feels!’

    This advert gave me herpes, never mind the fucking ‘feels’.

  • Rocky Shaw

    Those ClearScore adverts where that dog is supposedly talking? “Wat doing?” he supposedly says. It might have been more credible if they could’ve been assed to at least make his mouth move whilst he supposedly spoke. Clearscore’s credit rating must be freekin’ brilliant, judging by the miserly budget they direct towards their pathetic adverts.

  • leeleem77

    the insipid woman on the Diet Chef adverts! the only reason folk lose weight on that is because it’s so fucking expensive they can’t afford real food

    • Bart Littlebird

      Worst advert ever. Even my husband commented this advert was terrible and usually he never notices adverts.

  • n

    What is confused.com’s current obsession with the word ‘fantastic’? Anyone would think they are about to copyright the word from the amount of times they are repeating it.

    • Chris

      That’s go-compare, but it does pretty much underline how ineffective these ads probably are as half the time I cant remember which of these identical comparison sites the annoying ad belongs to, I had thought that stupid “builders and strutters(that’s a profession?)” was confused.com, but its money supermarket

  • Teresa Callaghan-Sheppard

    I think one of the most crapiest adverts on tv at the moment, which makes me want to vomit is the Diet Chef advert with a female who is so pathetic. I am not given to violence but she makes me want to go and lap her……………..

    • Paul LJ Catlow

      I know it’s bad manners to point out a typo in somebody else’s post, but “crapiest” sounds wonderfully Freudian and may have created a lovely new word. it combines “rape” and “crap” into a very useful new word.

      “to crape” (v) – a portmanteau of “rape” and “crap” denoting the mind-rape perpetrated by a truly bad, awful, advert which enters the mind uninvited and by force, and whose effects remain there forever. A variant of “mind-rape” by the truly appallinhg and unwholesome. Se also “crapy”, “crapiest”.

  • Ken

    Surely that Heinz Can song bollocks which has polluted my eyes/ears this week will bring you out of your (apparent) semi-retirement?

  • Steve

    The Clearscore ads. “Oh hey let’s just put some pets with really lazy cheap and stupid voices in a living-room with some boring potato-couch couples.
    That’s it, that’s the ad, nono we don’t get the pets to do anything interesting or say anything interesting.

    Yeah I know right, what could possibly go wrong?”

  • Max Bennie

    The Muller Corner ads with Nicole Scherziwerschiwerzischerzinger. Specifically the one where she falls back and pulls everything off the picnic table. And everyone else who’s there just… laughs.

    No. No no no no no no no no no. If that happened in your garden, I’m pretty sure that’s not what you would do. You’d probably be concerned for that person’s health and then try to clean up. You certainly wouldn’t sit there grinning like an idiot.

    • TVRubbish

      The first time I saw that picnic one, which was the second in the series, I thought, “Oh they’re probably going to make it FUNNY this time—she’ll come up with her dazzling white frock covered in chocolate cake, sausage roll, vimto, etc. and just one teeny spot of the yoghurty shite on the tip of her nose.” Nope.
      In the third one I thought, “Well, maybe THIS time …” Nope.
      As with so many crap adverts, they merely repeat EXACTLY the same feeble joke over and over and over and over until you finally think “Okay okay enough! I’ll buy your shitty overpriced product!”
      By the way, I’ve still no idea who Nicole Schizzinger is. If she’s a singer, she should really change her name.

      • Max Bennie

        I think she was a singer at some point. Nowadays she’s most famous for being married to Lewis Hamilton. She might be a judge on some programme as well.

  • mnky75

    Forgot how much I hate that F***ING Maoam advert with that bespectacled Dickwash having a fit to music that sounds like R2D2 with a bad case of the trouser coughs, until it popped up from hell when I was watching something on YouTube earlier this week!!!

  • Dave Quinn

    How about the Rubicon Spring “Water’s had a fruity fling” advert? It takes themes of spousal infidelity and cuckoldry and tries to make them seem cutesy. It utterly fails at that too, since the models of the CGI drink bottle characters look terrible.

  • Paul LJ Catlow

    Can I go against the general trend and actually suggest a GOOD advert? Funny, relevant and which makes a great point in support of a worthy cause? The new advert for the charity Water Aid, which seeks to raise awareness of how fundamental water supply is and how a large part of the world doesn’t have it.

    The ad is so new it’s not on YouTube yet, but watch it when it comes up. It takes the form of a spoof “fly on the wall” documentary set in an abysmal British workplace, where the loving caring management announce that they’ve sublet what used to be the staff toilets to an internet set-up firm. The staff are then told they need to rebuild part of their open-plan offices into some sort of rudimentary lavatory, but are to view it as an unparrelleled exercise in bonding and team-building. Oh, and the budget is limited. Staff are then seen trucking buckets of water in and buckets of nameless substances out. The manager who has wished all this on her employees is seen to ask if cholera is one of those forty-eight hour things. Oh, and to keep quiet about it if Environmental Health or H&S take an interest?

    This is so spot-on that you might think this is a REAL British business. (A possible drawback: many viewers would nod and think “Yeah, sort of thing they’d bloody well do”. )

    Funny, provocative and worth watching! Also makes me want to do an unprecedented thing and donate. This sort of advert needs encouraging. More here on the charity: http://www.wateraid.org/uk

    Hope a link to the advert comes up, so it can be linked to. It’s too good not to!

  • Jon Harris

    I hate that Llyods Ad with that pretentious Hipster like catawailing background music…That’s why today’s music is shite….

  • Bart Littlebird

    This one has been about for a while but I think Fairy have totally misfired with their latest advert where the boy wants to make a rocket. It kinda worked years ago when fairy had a cylindrical bottle but now the bottle is totally the wrong shape. So the supposed length of time the whining little shite was waiting for the empty washing up liquid bottle, he could have found many more suitable objects to make his spacecraft from.

  • Jon Harris

    Plenty of Fish dating ad. When on, it looks tawdry and cheesy..the music is similar to ‘ Were having a Gang Bang’….In reality full of heavily tattooed fat munters and odd balls…both genders.

  • Jon Harris

    I also hate these chummy and scummy gambling ads… and the outcome, is when some poor sod gets so addicted. He or she ends up in excessive debt. They end up throwing himself on to a railway line or off a bridge

  • Jon Harris

    I also hate that Aviva app with that smug pedestrian family from some boring bollox town in south Wales.

  • Jon Harris

    I hate that ad-music for a online banking Clydesdale Bank B ..a real pain in the arse

  • Addypops

    Muller ad with Chris Akabusi. Need I say more.

  • Flubflubflub

    The new Flash advert. Even the claim at the end that it “Cleans the impossible” is blatantly wrong.

  • rayblack2004

    Samsung School of Rio – Cycling with Sir Bradley Wiggins & Becky James (featuring, ugh, Jack Whitehall). Im guessing that the Olympians decided not to play ball and treated the poster boy of nepotism with the contempt he deserves.

  • Combat King 0

    There was a poorly acted Clear Score advert with a couple watching a Clear Score advert on their TV. Immediately the woman asks the man to check their credit score in possibly the least naturally dialogue I’ve seen since Annakin Skywalker tried to woo Padme Amidala.

    However, an even worse atrocity by the same company has reared it’s ugly head. A little boy repeatedly and obnoxiously yells “PINEAPPLE!” to his dad. What this has to do with checking your credit score, I’ve no idea. I also have no idea why I would want to check my credit score.

    Yet another financial “service” that’s lost on me.

  • Stephen Shaughnessy

    The annoying kid with the grating voice saying “pineapple” on the clear score advert.

  • Bart Littlebird

    That latest Subway ad where that cheapskate is mentally willing his date to choose the cheapest £3 lunch option. It’s Subway ffs! Nothing you buy in Subway is expensive.

  • Vance

    The amount of adverts on for funeral plans/insurance, what a morbid bunch of idiots. Every one of them,”it’s over £7000, then repeat £7000! One of them goes, “my husband used to save for everything, birthdays, holidays etc, the one thing he didn’t save for was his funeral” Well that blows the saved for everything out of the water!! Every bloody single one of them then goes on to state, it’s only £1.64 a week, “I’ve paid more for a coffee”? Bloody hooray, if you spent less on coffee you might be able to afford to bury the old bugger! Rubbish, unimaginative drivel, driving people to an early grave. Awful on every level!

  • Vance

    The diet Chef advert, the one where she meets her former self. ” I want what you’ve got” she bleats? I assume that’s greasy hair & a massively depleted bank account. Awful cringe-worthy example of cheapo, unimaginative detritus used by dodgy weight loss companies. Her voice is like fingernails scraping a blackboard. “You can do it this time”, yep if you want warmed up tv dinners costing 5 times as much as making the meal yourself!

  • Carinthea C

    Diet Chef 2 months later ad (Summer 2016). It’s actually a really insulting advert insinuating that a single stone extra on the body means you don’t wash/brush your hair, take any care of your skin or wear clothes that actually fit. Comments have been posted on their YouTube and FB pages but Diet Chef simply removed the comments without addressing them. Insulting, offensive and downright appalling advertising.

    • Vance

      Glad it’s not just me who thinks this advert is awful! So insulting & cheap.

      • Chris

        Last time I saw it I was trying to work out if there was any actual weight difference between them as it looks to me like she just dressed in a tighter dress and had her hair and make up done.

  • Graham Munn

    Has anyone seen the new Gladstone Brookes advert? they’ve changed tactics from annoying to simply bullying and threatening everyone to contact them. I like the was the guy at the end pulls down the shades at the end and possibly whispers “fucking dickcheeses”!! in his mind. His family must absolutely loathe him, the dickcheese.

  • Graham Munn

    New Gladstone Brookes advert…WHAT’S GOING ON?!? the man cries. PUT DOWN YOUR CUP OF TEA AND RING US NOW!! GO ON!! NOOOOW!! His children must hate him.

  • mike d

    Please – do the world a favour by destroying the new Diet Chef advert – single handedly the most offensive, patronising, targetted pile of shite I’ve ever seen

    • hardjackson

      Dear God. I don’t think there’s much more to say about it though. It’s just utterly inept.

  • C graz

    The “please don’the let it be them” lotto ads.
    1. They are not funny. Just cos some annoying twat can acknowledge the fact they’re annoying and take the piss for a load of advertising money, doesn’t make them less annoying or more endearing.

    2. More people playing the lotto wouldn’t lessen the chance of these annoying twats winning it would just mean you would have to split the jackpot with the annoying twat.

    3. Piers Morgan

    • Chris

      yes, they seem to be putting across the idea that you have to play it to prevent others winning, apart from the fact this whole premise is rather revolting, they seem to not realise that they are running a lottery, not a raffle, you cant prevent other people winning by buying more tickets

  • Richard Trundle

    How has the ‘what’s my claim worth’ ad not been raised in here? ‘Tiffany’ is the epitome of what’s wrong with society today. Some chav gangster wannabe claiming for stupid injuries. Please Adturds, destroy this ad and prevent any more. You get me?

  • No

    Sing Your Heart Out. 30 seconds of some look-at-me gobshite with the emotional depth of a trough of stale piss encouraging her equally thick mates to drive dangerously too. It’s also massively unrealistic as none of the twats are texting and driving.

  • Ben

    Clearscore…. Charley lets check our credit history ! Aaaarrggghhh !
    Sounds like she’s half asleep… Then a dog pops up and says “wot doing”? Really gets me irate…

  • Marion Cowell Ward

    The worst ad on tv at present is for Corsodyl. Its horrible. It features a woman whose gums bleed and who wakes up from a bad dream in which she spits out her teeth,

  • Paul LJ Catlow

    Is it me, or has the general quality of adverts on Channel Four taken a serious plummet? I record the morning showings of two above-average American sitcoms, “Everybody Loves Raymond” and “Frasier”, for viewing later in the day – insurance against evening TV being utter shite. Even though I fast-forward through the advert breaks, I can’t help but notice they’re now showing American infomercials without even bothering to post-produce them with British accents.

    You know infomercials. It used to be said a British advert break was the cue to go into the kitchen and make a brew, in time for the programme resuming. well, the average American infomercial allows you to sit down, take a four-course meal at leisure, with cheeseboard and coffee afterwards. And when you get back into the living room, that irritating American woman STILL hasn’t finished yapping on about the merits of her fucking AhhBra or whatever crap she’s peddling. This sort of advert needs serious editing, preferably with a chainsaw.

    The repeated C4 morning advert for an exercise machine called the WonderCore is not at this extreme, thankfully. It’s more of an infomercial-lite that rabbits on for a minute and a half, perhaps two minutes, trying to sell a miracle pill to the exercise-lazy who want the results without the effort.

    It’s just in every single bleeding commercial break. EVERY commercial break. There is no escaping it. And it’s crap.

    This is – forgive me – the extended advert. Although the one shown in every bloody sodding ad break on C4 has, in fairness, been edited to half this length. You would not want to know about the full 57 minute version.

    • Paul LJ Catlow

      The virus has gone pandemic. This sodding advert is now on all ITV channels. My will to live is ebbing rapidly.

Hate adverts?

This is the one chance you’ll ever get to fight back against terrible adverts. For once, the boot can be on the other foot. Deliver it to the knackers of evil – and hit the buttons below.

Still here?

You should definitely sign up below. Every extra follower makes Gladstone Brookes unhappy.