AdTurds Bad Averts – Badverts –

Suggest An AdTurd

Tell me about the worst advert currently on television - the one that really grinds your gears, the one that makes you switch off, hurl obscenities at the television or simply throw yourself out of the window.

The Admiral advert, Tesco advert or Just Eat advert? Or long-running series from the likes of Money Supermarket, Confused.com or Go Compare? Or simply the newest thing that had you gouging your face in annoyance.

I'll try to track down the worst offenders and give them the AdTurds treatment. It won't change anything - but it might make you feel very slightly better about the world.

Browse the old comment section - with over 1100 comments complaining about adverts - for more misnathropy.

Do your worst - but keep it civil. No personal abuse - and anything that smacks of bigotry in any way will be deleted and the user banned. That means:

    No racism.
    No sexism.
    No homophobia.

  • Bart Littlebird

    Really hate those stupid muller light Greek yoghurt adverts with stupid bimbos wreaking various havoc by shrieking “fat free!” at inappropriate moments. The only saving grace is that they don’t have that idiotic Nicole whateverhernameis in them.

  • Sharon Presland

    Oh that couple eating blue cheese just before getting it on in a park … her voice when she says “what are you doing! Get on with it!”. Then she restles him to the floor, hovering over his face with a mouthful of vile blue cheese still churning about … Cheesy (sorry!) and so annoying I want to scream every damn time it’s on.

  • Bart Littlebird

    I can’t be doing with that JD Williams advert. Bunch of women leaping about grinning inanely against flowery backgrounds with a constant Aaaawoooing noise that drives me bonkers!

    • Sharon Presland

      That was going next on my list! Aaagh the “song”!!and it makes my kids go mad and copy it – it’s now banned in my house ; )

  • pierre

    The two idiots doing 11 ad makes me cringe about time these two were killed off. Got to be the most annoying ever should be replaced NOW

  • Sharon Presland

    The people in the Johnstones diy centres ads…I keep waiting for the actual gag. And it never comes. That woman that says “stripper!!” needs a slap!

  • Ooh Matron

    Combogesic. Beyond belief that a client could sanction such tripe, let alone that a “creative” could present it to that client, let alone that same “creative” could imagine it was a good idea to purloin the vapid minds of twats who actually talk like that. Wanker(s)…..I hope you are crushed by a tank driven by a gurning, masturbating Piers Morgan on live tv.

  • Sharon Presland

    Nothing at all against Holly and Davina in their usual presenting roles but together in the Nutrisse advert… oh cringe! It just does not work. Irritating and awkward beyond measure. Just no.

    • Steph

      I bet they fucking hate each other in real life. That delivery was just too forced.

  • andy pandy

    Moneysupermarket advert is the most piss me off ever seen. It’s totally pathetic.Get shot of it.

    • Andy B

      Whats it all about?I really dont get it.Its crap.

  • Paul Ozzamabin Stokes

    The new B & M advert….Hands down….Really, really, really bad!!!

  • Andy B

    Equity release ads.You,ve seen them,release the equity on your home and have a holiday,treat the grandchildren in your retirement etc etc,but why do they have to show someone in the garden pruning their fucking roses.Is this all they think retired people want to do?

  • The Beast

    The Nationwide poetry ad is diabolical, overly worthy delivery and rhyming couplets even Tim Rice would frown at for being too cheesy, eg “We all get a vote, we’re in the same boat”. I’m sure the poet must have dreamed about starring in an ad for a building society.

    • Sharon Presland

      A cardboard cutout of a son who moved out? Just what?? Who comes up with these things? Why are they still employed?

  • Neil C. Longley

    These ridiculous Which? Consumer rights adverts mainly on Dave and UK TV. What the actual fuck? Looks like one bloke is jizzing in his pants. Odd.

  • Jon Harris

    That Mcvities biscuit ad where kittens, puppies and what other furry creatures they muster.
    Suddenly appear out of the of biscuits…wouldn’t there be any poo at the bottom of the pack?… what a stooopid analogy.

    • Paul LJ Catlow

      with the baby seals, do you get a free club and an instruction to make your own fur coat?

  • Sharon Presland

    Haha love it ; )

  • Jon Harris

    That M&S ad music ( Clean Bandit)….pain in the are…a pretend feel good trope…

  • Jon Harris

    I hate that insurance ad with Harvey Keitel…and those plebby women, probably from Oldham (outside Manchester).. on their way to some pig in a wig disco cum hen night….he then disrespects the old gents…pisses me off …

    • Paul LJ Catlow

      this advert perlexes me too. is the hidden message “you might be a pissed-up chavvy tart who gets into an accident completely through her own dumb fault, but we’ll still insure you”?

  • Andy B

    Britelite windows,the one with the animated drone that flys up to the women in the window,must be the very worst fake american accent ever,sounds like its done by someone british as you can hear the dodgy accent start to break down half way through the voiceover.Have a listen,its terrible!

  • Jon Harris

    That Admiral Ad…those characters .remind me of a job I had to endure.When your ‘colleagues’ pretend to be interested in the business and job culture ..while on bird seed wages..

    • Andy B

      Yer,theyre far too enthusiastic to be true,another stupid car insurance ad to make it look like theyre the good guys trying to do us a favour whilst they slap our arses with over priced premiums and charge youngsters trying to get on the road a few grand+just to insure a small basic hatchback,oh yes a woman dressed as an admiral makes us feel soooooo much better about life.

  • Jon Harris

    My gripe on ads….that fucking annoying ukulele music esp on Ben and Jerry’s…ice cream..
    and most other products…bad combo ukulele and that annoying light glockenspiel bolloks

  • Jon Harris

    Jeremy Clarkson..is a poor substitute for machismo…He reminds me of those 6th form lower middle class tossers..Is he the option against the crypto metrosexual mincing, and lame trendy wendys of modern culture?….think not

  • Sharon Presland

    Not directed to one particular advet but rather to most adverts for baby stuff. Do not speak to us new mums like WE have suddenly turned one year old. We are grown ups. Our brain went nowhere. Stop saying the word “baby” to us in that condescending, naff and “cute” tone to us. We do not like.

    • Bart Littlebird

      Totally agree. The Pampers Nappy pants one especially annoys me. Where do they find these women with the insipid annoying voices?

  • Sharon Presland

    That cat that says Puuuurfect this and that whilst sitting on a tumble dryer or something. Gaaah!!! Enough!!!!!

  • Sharon Presland

    Oh no- it’s back! TheThis Girl Can campaign. It is not just annoying, long or pointless ( are you seriously giving me permission to do sports, in 2017???? ) it actually makes me feel nauseous. All that sweaty flesh jiggling about and on and on it goes. Why just WHY? I get the message it is trying to send out but frankly it puts me off sports-and my dinner too.

    • Paul LJ Catlow

      There’s a similar advert going on with a similar sort of name which is all about female emancipation and “changing the script”. All very worthy. But I can’t help noticing how often both these adverts segue into an immediately following one which is for cosmetics, expensive shampoo, clothes companies, et c which could be described as “right, we’ve done the politically correct one to show we care. Now this is how you women are SUPPOSED to think and act. Get with the REAL programme!” et c.

  • Clearscore.com. Both of them. I feel sorry for the animals in those adverts, they deserve better.

  • Andy B

    The new Safestyle window ads,proud to be uk no1.The lady answering the door far too friendly to the window fitter and then almost seen cuddling into him as she views the latest designs on his laptop,is she not happy enough that her husband is treating her to new windows rather than flirting with the fitter?

    • Pad

      Yeah shit upvc windows ,product of the petrochemical industry just what we need to save the planet

  • leeleem77

    Currently I am hating the Clucking Woman at the beginning and the “NO WAAAAY!” Squealing Woman on the Head and Shoulders advert.

  • Andy B

    Compere the market Meerkat ads are another becoming quite tiresome.Their accents which i suppose are meant to be Polish must be getting quite boring for our foreign visitors,let alone that to have these cuddly characters is supposed to make it all ok for car insurance companys to charge us a fortune for their services.Perhaps having the Meerkats around makes everything ok.

    • Pad

      Yes I have an attic full of the little shits, (the stuffed toys !) advert gone on too long now,stop the adverts then in twenty years they might be worth something’s on eBay,

    • Paul LJ Catlow

      If meerkats are from South Africa, what the hell are they doing with cod-Russian accents? But I suppose giving them South African accents might provoke an image problem… wasn’t it Andy Hamilton who said “If God intended us to like South Africans, he wouldn’t have made them talk like that”. It’s amusing to consider what they would have come across like had they been given appropriate accents… thinking of the old Spitting Image song about the impossibility of finding a nice South African, voiced by cartoon meercats…

  • Andy B

    The Gerald Lukehurst furniture store ads,every reason why you should never attempt to save a few quid and present the ad yourself.For gods sake get a proper actor in next time Gerald.These ads will be familiar if you live in the south east region.

  • James Hobbs

    The Argos ‘whoa a whoa whoa whoa’ advert.

    The advert itself is incidental and changes with whatever products are on sale. The thing that hasn’t changed in about three years is the music. God knows how many times I’ve had to mute the TV whenever it’s come on. I bet the band who performed it have disowned the song now too.

    Here’s to another decade of the same music in Argos’s cheap and not cheerful adverts …

  • Sharon Presland

    I started hating the woman in the Trivago ads. Something about the robotic, over-posed way she moved her arms when always saying the same boooring lines. “For the best price”. Then I started feeling somewhat sorry for her as it became apparent her stylist hates her and has made it her mission in life to dress her in ever more horrible outfits each time. And now… sinking to a new low… tap dancing in this bizarre skirt??? Wtf!!! Yep her bosses HATE her and clearly get off on humiliating her further with each new instalment of this ghastly adturd. Stop it already, poor girl!

  • Steph

    That woman who looks completely unhinged whilst laugh-exclaiming ‘I didn’t know Oral B made a toothpaste!’

    What the fuck did you think they made, dishwashers?

    • Steph

      AND ANOTHER THING. I realise something else that annoys me about this advert. It looks like it’s been dubbed from a foreign language, but upon lipreading, it doesn’t seem to have been. Which means it’s one of those adverts which has had the audio recorded separately and badly dubbed in later. WHICH IS WEIRD AND I DON’T LIKE IT.

  • Victor Ferreiro

    Have you seen that strange adturd for a VIPoo spray which masks the smell of turds? I thought it was a spoof – What a stinker!

  • Daveydave7

    Nationwide poetry adverts

  • Sharon Presland

    This new Sainsbury’s ad with the people dancing in their kitchen whilst they cook. No words for just how utterly cr*p it is.
    The muller light ones where some girl eats yogurt whilst perving at some beefcake that always has a mishap when she suddenly screeches_ 99 calories????!!! Just put the teeth away!!! For goodness sake!!!

  • Leigh

    I’m not even sure what this travesty is advertising? Some kind of groupon thing..?

  • Steph

    Bensons for Beds. Specifically the bit at the end where that infinitely smug bint sings ‘lucky, lucky me’. It inspires a homicidal rage in me more suitable for a japanese teeneager avenging the death of her murdered father…

  • leeleem77

    Cadburys, dragging out that shit, irritating 70s disco song and the creepy looking man in the purple tank top. please make it stop!

    • Sharon Presland

      Agree its a dumb shit advert buy I find the guy kind of cute ha ha

  • Paul LJ Catlow

    Fry-light. The nodding. The bloody nodding. And worst, two ad agencies (presumably) can’t talk to each other, or else whoever had rights to the music saw an opportunity and licenced it to two adverts simulateneousy (double the royalties?). so that head-nodding music is also being used, at exactly the same time, for two wholly unrelated products.

    It’s also there in the Virgin Rail advert where bloke travels to meet GF’s family for the first time. Exactly. The Same. Music. So you watch an advert for trains and think “overpriced spray oil which is 80% water”. then you watch the FryLight advert and think of foul, inedible, vastly overpriced food sold at railway stations or on trains.

    Wonder if the two ad agencies involved have realised yet? Or if, at some sort of level, they’re testing out some devious strategy for advertising two products simultaneously – tying together synthetic chemical spray-oil and train travel in Virgin cattle-wagons, in the minds of the viewer, two for the price of one….

  • Sharon Presland

    Oh and Park Savings. Thanks for ruining the Santa thing for my children with your cutesy oooopsy wooopsy display of festive incompetence. I called them out over it on their FB page… No reply.

  • Sharon Presland

    A new irritation from Beagle Street. The couple moving house. The voice of the girl when she nags him over protecting their mortgage. The way she talks!!!! Ending every sentence like a question. Aagh!!! Just SHUT UP!!!!!! The poor dude waking up to that voice for the rest of his pitiful life.

  • Derek

    I have to leave the room when that lloyds bank advert with that stupid honking music starts up.

  • Julian

    I might be wrong, but did Chris Evans use his child to do the advert for 500 words on the radio 2 trailer? It was excruciatingly irritating for the last 2 years. I bless my lucky stars that this year it is a whisper instead, but I swear it’s still his kid which reminds me of the last annoying advert. I might be wrong though, as I said already. But repetition sells doesn’t it? Doesn’t it?

  • Dave Quinn
    • hardjackson

      Interestingly all the articles relating to it have been take down.

  • Amon Khaiba

    The advert for gold coins where the irritating yank says “you brits” more times than necessary, presumably in attempt at endearment.

    The gist of the advert is that “you brits” are shit at everything but…. your gold coins aren’t entirely shit. Well thanks alot you smug yankee fuck.. how is this “advert” supposed to make people want to do anything other than hate americans.

    Fuck him and fuck gold coins.

  • James Hobbs

    Knowing Adturds’ attitude to crimes against music, can I make a bid for Fiber (sp) One’s ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’ advert to be rightfully slimed on this website?

    A web search tells me that the ad was made in 2013 from the Saatchi & Saatchi stable, but has only just entered my consciousness. With
    adapted lyrics as bad as the Flash dog advert, it’s truly horrendous. ‘Forever I’ve been praying for a snack in my life, and now I have a brownie ending all of my strife’. Struggling for a rhyme for ‘life’, were we? ‘I finally found the right snack’ brings the event to an oddly abrupt end, choosing to ignore the lines that made Bonnie Tyler’s song so famous. It feels like something that the contestants on The Apprentice would make or some Media Studies A-Level students who started with promise and then lazily hacked together the last few parts to scrape by with a C.

    The product it’s advertising that I assume is designed to allow for easier bowel movements already looks like a dried up poo already too.

  • Sharon Presland

    Made.com This girl dancing around with all the boxes. Gaaaaah! when ad makers don’t have a CLUE what to do, they just get someone to dance. And they get PAID for all that thinking.

  • A Guest

    Worst ad TURD is the Jeremy Clarkson Amazon Fire Stick ad TURD.
    1. I have literally no clue what the fuck it is. Even after going Amazon’s website and reading about it, it was just all techno goobledygook.

    2. Clarkson’s absurd, irritating over the top accent pisses me off.

    3. WHY does him sending some over to France and Germany by drone constitute something funny? At the end he smirks like a naughty schoolboy. Meanwhile, I have NO FUCKING CLUE why he thinks this is funny.

    So well done Amazon, you failed to convey what a product is, does or is for, plus you handed over a shit-ton of money to a presenter who just pisses off the audience (plus fails to convey ANY information whatsoever). Fuck off Amazon.

    • Jon Harris

      Brilliantly put..A Guest….JC is an annoying twat..

  • Lorem Ipsum Dolor

    Cravendale’s “Behold The Milk Drinker”
    He’s alone at night in a stationary car because:
    a.He’s homeless
    b. He’s stalking someone
    He’s dancing with a glass of milk because
    a. He doesn’t have anyone to dance with
    b. He’s having some kind of breakdown
    He’s in a laundrette because:
    a. He lives in a rented flat without a washing machine
    b. He’s homeless and just goes in to get warm
    He’s tying a shoelace with one hand because
    a. He’s got nowhere better to get to any time soon
    b. It’s a good hobby for someone with no disposable income
    So What was the benefit of being a milk drinker again?

    • ThatBoyNeedsTherapy

      I actually liked the weird, Tim Burton esque Cravendale ads from a few years back, the one with the biscuit boy and the creepy accompanying song. Reminded me a tad of the epochal ‘Judderman’ Metz ads from the 90s…

      Agree though, the current one is shite and on my list of immediate mute button hits.

      • Paul LJ Catlow

        Fridge logic dictates. If biscuit disintegrates when dunked in liquid for too long. how did Mr and Mrs Biscuit get it together to conceive Baby Biscuit? Or was it a case of “we can only do this once, so let’s make it a good one”. Or did Mummy bake Daddy a new one…. the mind boggles.

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