AdTurds Bad Adverts – Badverts

Suggest An AdTurd

Tell me about the worst advert currently on television - the one that really grinds your gears, the one that makes you switch off, hurl obscenities at the television or simply throw yourself out of the window.

The Admiral advert, Tesco advert or Just Eat advert? Or long-running series from the likes of Money Supermarket, Confused.com or Go Compare? Or simply the newest thing that had you gouging your face in annoyance.

I'll try to track down the worst offenders and give them the AdTurds treatment. It won't change anything - but it might make you feel very slightly better about the world.

Browse the old comment section - with over 1100 comments complaining about adverts - for more misnathropy.

Do your worst - but keep it civil. No personal abuse - and anything that smacks of bigotry in any way will be deleted and the user banned. That means:

    No racism.
    No sexism.
    No homophobia.

  • Sharon Presland

    Ugh! The one with the girl with the huge mouth on the packed bus, making faces at the little girl to get the attention of the boy next to her. Blagh.

  • Sharon Presland

    A general moan to end today, about any ad that makes someone look like they are having sex with their food, almost always chocolate or yogurt. And in particular that one with the girl prancing around to “express yourself” who then goes on to lick her spoon both ways with a smug, punchable face on. Who eats like that???

  • Sharon Presland

    Jane Plan. Many things that annoy me about this one. ARE YOU TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT? blasts this voice out of nowhere. None of your business. The way she says any word starting with “d” grates me like hell (diet, door). Then the lady telling us she has “got her mojo back”. Well that’s nice, weight loss done, now go sort out those weird teeth too. Yep I feel terrible saying something so shallow, but the ad industry is there to try and make me want something, and nope I do not want to look like that! FAIL.

  • Sharon Presland

    The Boot optician’s one with the creepily overfriendly, over-acting girl with the massive fringe. The script is like a screech in my brain and if an actual shop assistant was following me around laughing like they are my best mate I would have a word with their manager.Ew.

  • Mark

    I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to comment on this one; i.e. the Shpok ad. Joe Pasquale on helium is not a good sound; the voice alienates me from ever spending anything on that stupid site.

    The gap toothed wanker halfway through; in spite of the out of focus picture, has a very punchable face, and I’m not even a violent person.

    They can go Shpock themselves…..kaching (I’m sure it’s spelt ‘kerching’)!!

  • Mark

    I have a problem with the Wrigley’s Extra ad on every level.

    Firstly, does having the car, the condo, the cash and the career automatically make somebody a bad person and not husband material? Maybe a bin man with empty pockets living in a hard to let flat is a better option? (No offence intended to bin men).

    Secondly; if he’s such a dick, why continue the charade through to the wedding day? Dump him sooner.

    Thirdly, does Wrigley’s Extra equip you with special reasoning powers that help you to make difficult decisions; and if not, what is the relevance of the fucking scenario to the product?!! Rat’s cocks :-L

  • Sharon Presland

    You need an injury lawyer.. for you. That’s why we are called Injury Lawyers… 4 you. Our marketing guy is not 15 yet but never mind.

    • Mark

      Indeed; he is probably on one of those government apprenticeship schemes; t.v.’s equivalent of a sweat shop.

    • Vega DA

      Urgh, yeah … all these bloodsucking legal scumbags pretending they care about you (and not trying to take your money). Sickening.

  • Sean Roche

    The advert that uses the tune of Slade ‘I wish it could be christmas everyday’ and changes christmas to summer. Thanks for reminding the biggest cynical spendfest is a few months away

    • Sharon Presland

      Haha I detest it for the exact opposite reason. I’m mad about Christmas and loathe the summer so I get crushed with bitter disappointment when the song makes my ears prick up and when I look at the tv I see my worst nightmare, hoards of people in flip flops lol x

  • Bart Littlebird

    I’d love to know what sort of drugs the people who come up with the adverts for 3 phone network are on. Giraffamingo!? A dolphin sloth?? WTF?!?! They are obviously trying to be cute but it’s just weird and doesn’t make sense.
    Also any advert that uses that song ‘I’m coming home, I’m coming home, tell the world I’m coming home…”. Load of sentimental wailing. I know of at least 2 adverts that use this song at the moment. Grrrr!

    • Rebecca Flowers

      I agree about that awful coming home song, I have to mute the telly when it comes on. There’s a Fairy washing powder advert that I saw yesterday with the same awful, breathy, folksy kind of vocalist singing heads shoulders knees and toes. Another one that went straight to mute!

      • Sharon Presland

        I suffered the Fairy ad for the first time today and actually yelled at the tv. What the actual f… ??? It takes some serious talent to turn that truly awful song into something even more detestable. Woah.

        • Bart Littlebird

          Advertisement agencies seem to have an obsession with using cover versions of songs sung by breathy voiced insipid sounding women at the moment. What is with this?? It really doesn’t make me want to buy the product so just stop it already!

    • Mark

      You get my vote on the basis that sloth’s are hideous looking things. The ad is a pile of steaming shit as well.

  • Mark

    A bit of a conundrum this one; more to do with my intolerance I think. The Haagen Dasz ad with the two silly pretty bints and their stupid tennis racquet dance grates with me.

    The Trivago ads have become more annoying with their contrived efforts to make the girl more funny, and fail miserably. I’m no xenophobe but every time she talks about finding great hotels at the best ‘prass’ I feel like hurling up my dinner. Sorry Australians!

    • Sharon Presland

      So true! They are taking it beyond cringe. Poor girl.And the clothes!!! My Lord!!!

      • Rebecca Flowers

        I don’t understand why she wears a bangle up near her elbow. Last time I wore a bangle (which, admittedly was in the 80’s and I was about five) it definitely went round my wrist. My mum was quite insistent on that.

  • Mark

    No strong feelings about this Match.com ad; it’s just that the blonde woman in the background creeps me out a little; she is one step away from being a stalker/bunny boiler – she’s probably boiling a bunny in that same kitchen; rehearsing in advance.

  • Dave Brown

    The dreadful vauxhall advert with the pyjama mamas – Terrible on all counts.

    • Rebecca Flowers

      Agreed. There are no words for this abomination.

  • Bart Littlebird

    That hotels.com advert where that stupid American starts off saying Brian or someone is doing a ‘big wee’ down the stairs. So puerile and blatant piss take out of the British and our turn of phrase. He then goes on to start singing an annoying ‘good morning, good morning’ song. And then, just to put the icing on the turd, that eejit from the Halifax ads from years back turns up. Grrrrrr

  • TVRubbish

    I have to switch over when that one comes on. I’ve had pleasanter nightmares.

  • RosyMae

    Muller light fat free with a girl screaming “fat free” as if she has found out she has won the lottery! I switch off my TV every time I see it.

    • Bart Littlebird

      Yes, these drive me mad. Muller obviously think that all women are empty headed bimbos that are all totally obsessed with calories.

  • Sharon Presland

    Ha ha… I must admit, it made me smile, well, laugh, I confess, when I was having a really crap day so I kind of like it. I like the bloke’s embarrassed face at the end ha ha. All rubbish claims though, as I’ve had to wait for AA for 3 hours before, broken down whilst heavily pregnant, and they have never ever been able to fix me at the roadside, just poke around then tow me to the garage.

  • thor odinson

    I cannot stand the clear score/moose adverts & the new AA advert! Both make me change channels when they come on. Not forgetting that the song used in the AA ad is actually about a riverboat & NOT driving

    • Vega DA

      The dog I don’t mind, it’s the humans that annoy me in the Clearscore adverts, and if you’re that obsessed with checking your credit rating then you need professional help, not an app.

  • Mark

    “Sushi….I want Sushi” declares a fat bloke in overalls standing in a scrap yard in the Just Eat ad. Who are you kidding Just Eat?; he is obviously a pie and chips man – pick your demographic more carefully.

    On the subject of weight; the Paddy Power ad with the coach driver complaining about ferrying ‘big fat Phil’; the same coach driver with the quadruple chins; and a frame that could fit two big fat Phil’s. Irony or piss take? – take your pick.

    • Bart Littlebird

      I thought the same thing myself but then it occurred to me that it’s probably Just Eat’s laboured way of trying not to stereotype people. I agree with you though, that guy wouldn’t go within a mile of sushi. Probably pie and chips or a kebab if he was on a night out.

      • Mark

        You’re right; I’m a terminal cynic; though I suspect that a salad to that guy is like kryptonite to Superman.

  • Sharon Presland

    Subway. Why oh why must you insist on portraying your customers as losers/sociopaths/idiots who shudder in terror at the prospect of ordering a sandwich? Not funny and it does not one bit to make me want to go in there.

    There is an advert currently being featured in women’s weekly mags for Pink Lady apples. It’s an open mouth full of mini people doing stuff… It looks like a big mouthful of puke and it makes me really ill looking at it!

    The one with the lady speaking mournfully of her dead husband and how he put money away for everything.. except his funeral. Something about the over acting when she says “I wish we had” makes me want to throttle the poor woman-so sorry. And if you don’t have any money you do not go for a 7k funeral. Half of that more than covers a standard funeral! Exploiting bereavement… how disgusting!!!

    The Postcode’s Lottery ones… I don’t know why but I find them hugely grating, particularly the presenter’s dull and ugly voice when announcing the next draw at the end. Ugh.

    Generally all the Butlins and similar ads full of summer “fun”. Grunt.

  • Sharon Presland

    I’M SO GLAD I CHOSE MYA!!! … well good for you, now put away your fake boobs and smug faces, pretty please. It’s getting a bit old!

    • Mark

      Yes, we live in a world of fakery; and people are making a lucrative living out of it. People like Jordan for example should be cleaning toilets; not getting other people to write best sellers in her name so that other fakes can buy them and swell her coffers further. Rant over.

      • Sharon Presland

        I know.. it’s so sad that there are people out there making milions out of showing off bits of plastic inserted into their bodies whilst truly deserving people who save lives, fight crime or do the dangerous and unpleasant but vital jobs nobody else wants survive on a pittance. What’s wrong with this picture…

  • Andrew

    Go Outdoors’ cover of Pet Shop Boys ‘Go West’
    The very definition of a low budget, knocked off on a friday afternoon, load of toss.

  • Vega DA

    The Fixodent adverts with the badly-dubbed woman standing inside a giant CGI mouth with giant CGI food being bitten, and the company think we’re so unbelievably stupid they have to put “Reconstruction” in big betters on the screen so we know it’s not real.

    I thought they’d managed to cram and entire camera crew and their equipment into somebody’s gob, thanks for clearing that up!

    • Bart Littlebird

      Yeah that advert is terrible; “oh no! The denture moves!’ I also wondered why the people who made it thought we needed to be told it was a reconstruction. Ridiculous!

  • Mark

    Any advert that makes stupid comparisons; e.g. there’s one that compares a passenger plane with catastrophic hazards pre-take off with checking tyre pressures on a car!!

    It reminds me of an ad that used to appear in the cinema about film piracy, i.e. filming from the big screen onto a camcorder. The narrator suggested “You wouldn’t steal a car, mobile phone, handbag etc.”; the irony being that a percentage of the viewing demographic are sitting and laughing to themselves, having paid to watch the film from their ill gotten gains.

  • Mark

    Oral B ad I think; the one with the blonde woman brushing her teeth. Has anyone, anywhere in the world ever stood grinning as they brush their teeth? FFS!!!!!

    • Vega DA

      Exactly – Where’s the dribble? Cleaning your teeth isn’t fun, stop smiling!

    • TVRubbish

      Ha! only yesterday The Part Of Me That Screams At The Telly screamed at the telly, “You’d get better results if you weren’t gurning and were using toothpaste, you phucquing moron!”

      • Fozz

        But she didn’t know that Oral B even made a toothpaste! I guess she thinks it’s a suppository or something like that…

  • Mark

    Yes, does my tiny noggin in as well. Not original or funny.

  • Mark

    The Money Supermarket ad featuring the Masters of the Universe characters is monumentally fucking annoying. That stupid Skeletor laugh at the end makes me want to hurl a breeze block at the screen, but the t.v. would be costly to replace :-L

  • Vega DA

    That bloody annoying “surreal” Ribena advert is back. With the “zubby zub zubby zub zubby zub … zibby zib zibby zib zibby zibby zib” music repeating throughout and the weird cardboard cutout things with mouths.

    WTF that has to do with Ribena, or how it could appeal to anybody, is beyond me.

    Oh, and there’s an app! Download the Ribena app now! Umm, no thanks, I’m sad but I’m not THAT sad.

    • Mark

      Sorry, I adore that ad; my guilty pleasure has slipped out; but I appreciate the reminder. I am indeed that sad. 😀

    • Bart Littlebird

      My husband loves this one and admittedly it doesn’t annoy me as much but 2 things about it baffle me (apart from the obvious acid trippiness of it all of course)
      1. Is that Norman Lovett who voices Holly in Red Dwarf doing the voiceover for this. If so, why Norman, why??
      2. Download the Ribena app? Why?? What does it do?? And also no thanks, I don’t even like Ribena.

      • Vega DA

        Yes I think it’s Norman … must need the cash, I guess.

  • Steph

    The Microsoft advert with the human version of gooch rash saying ‘they say millenials will have 5 jobs…i’m a blogger, youtuber blah blah’. Couple of things:
    1) you mean unemployed
    2) please stop putting people like this on tv, this is why everyone hates millenials.
    3) This woman does not speak for us.

  • T S

    5day.co.uk is so annoying, please ban it

  • Natasha

    The “What’s my claim worth” advert. Tends to come up on comedy central a lot but not on mainstream freeview channels (thank god). Worst thing on television. Ever. Makes me so angry I can’t listen to the woman’s voice. She’s dressed and made up to look like a chav/scally. Indicating she is poor, stupid and trying to claim for a fake accident with a shit catchphrase … ‘innit though’!?! What the hell. Makes me wanna claw out my eyes out. WHO MADE THIS PILE OF WANK AND WHY IS IT STILL ON TELEVISION.

  • David Shuttleworth

    DFS adverts with the so obviously false Scottish accent! Really does my head in!

  • David Shuttleworth

    Jd williams ad…AROOO gets my goat prancing women jumping up in the air AROOO. Arghhhhhhh

    • Sharon Presland

      Yeah I hate that one too, it makes my kids copy the demonic howling and sends my blood pressure ape. Also when after a few model-looking models doing their thing suddenly you get Lorraine Kelly leaping about with that self satisfied grin on… ah.. cringe…

  • Bart Littlebird

    Now I’m not a hardcover feminist but there is an aftershave advert- it might be Diesel (I had to look it up, I originally blamed Boss) that makes me totally want to fly into a rage. It’s the one where that douchebag gives a speech to a fluffy looking blonde gazing sycophanticly at him asserting that he’ll basically hump and dump her. She then snogs him directly after the speech. Get some self respect girl! I don’t like your message at all Diesel!

  • Fozz

    Boots have released an advert, using a re-worded Christmas song. In summer…

    • Bart Littlebird

      Yes… I was going to turd that one too. It drives me utterly bonkers!

    • Steph

      Yep. Upvoted. What the hell were they thinking?!

    • Sharon Presland

      I was going to say that one too..I love Christmas and loathe summer so when it comes on its like a kick in the gut! Lol

  • Sharon Presland

    Right, Sainsbury’s really needs to take a good long hard look at the bunch of crap their marketing people keep barfing up. Each one is far worse than the previous and one can only wonder just how bad can it possibly get? They are so incredibly irritating I have left the room in occasion to get away from it if I can’t find the remote in time. Worst offender the atrocious french song one oh oui oh oui … f sake!!! Shut it!!!

    • Bart Littlebird

      Is that the one showing close ups of people with food all over their faces? Urgh!

      • Sharon Presland

        The worst one is the one with short sharp shots of an adult and a kid crunching a carrot over and over and over…makes me want to do not very nice things to them… By the way there is something about the black & white plus orange combo that just doesn’t inspire me to eat.. or buy stuff… nailed it, Sainsbury’s!!

  • George RoPer

    Vodaphone advert with the Hobbit in it (Martin Freeman). So cringingly bad that my eyes water each time.

    • dan

      Absolutely, the “joke” isn’t even delivered well. I feel that his heart isn’t really in it and he’s abit embarassed about even doing this crap. I have started to swap channels once this one starts, it makes me cringe so hard my face hurts.

    • James Hobbs

      What’s more cynical about it is that Martin Freeman purports to be a Labour party supporter having done campaign ads for them in the past. What better way of showing you’re a man of the people than taking the cash from one of the biggest dodgers of tax in the UK – surely one the Labour party would be going after if they were in government.

      Oh, and the impression is sub-David Brent as well. Poor show, Freeman.

  • Bart Littlebird

    Aaaagh! The latest Wowcher abomination. What is it with adverts with shouty Americans in them? It drives me nuts! Just shut up and go away!!

  • Sharon Presland

    The everything5pounds website. This incredibly annoying woman that manages to put my back up the very second she opens her vulgar mouth to say “o em gee!” . Yes, all class.

  • Sharon Presland

    The one where that mum wins money out of a pack ofcrisps and swiftly proceeds to embarras her kids with this godawful hip hop cringefest all round the ‘hood. Eeew.

  • Sharon Presland

    No veneer in’ere!!! MY GOD JUST STOP THAT!!!!

    • Vega DA

      Definitely! Everything about those adverts annoys me – the awful music, the repetition, the prices of the crap furniture they’re flogging … has anybody also noticed that the roles of the two ‘stars’ has switched around? In the first few adverts it was the older guy who was incompetant and the young trainee doing things properly. Now the younger one is the idiot. Just make it stop!

  • Jon Harris

    I hate that mawkish bollox song ‘you are you are youa arre”…from the Simply.be advert…utter
    sloppy nonsense.

    • Bart Littlebird

      Yes, I really hate that. It keeps getting stuck in my head. As well as that horrendous J D Williams ‘Aaawoooo!’ song. Gaaaaah!

  • dan

    And another thing (on a roll here) “I didn’t even know oral b made a toothpaste! It’s what my dentist, who isnt a dentist but an actress I have seen in some drama or other, recommends”. Plus the sister ad to it, “hips, arse, face or whatever, I know how to keep my body healthy but what about my blatantly obvious veneers?” I may have paraphrased a bit but yeah, toothpaste adverts with these being the worst offenders.

  • dan

    I have two, firstly, it’s probably been mentioned previously but any of the “brand power” (buchanan group) adverts. Dated, patronising and deceitful, going back to an era when they tried to tell you it was some kind of public service anouncement, certainly not an advertisement. Ha!

    Secondly the tesco “food love story” tripe, apart from being vomit inducely saccharine, again they are deceitful. As if anyone actually believes the “real” people in them are anything but actors hired for a role dreamed up by some ad exec trying to cash in on the food porn trend started by the likes of nigella etc. At best they are ignorable, but at worst they make me want to break things. They are everywhere, even popping up on the radio, two particular ones are the nanas magic soup (my grandson hates all this so I’ll blitz it up and give him a bowl of this shit, which he loves) any parent knows that their kid would be pestering for maccy d’s. Also the casually sexist “tricked you salmon”, (my husbands an idiot he doesn’t know that fish is good for you, anti men sexism is apparently okay in advertising). There are so many god awful, patronising adverts about at the moment that i honestly struggled just to pick two.

  • Matt

    The latest McDonalds advert with the mum and lad who’s dad is dead and the only similarity to his dead dad is that he gets tartar sauce on his chin is truly awful

  • Jon Harris

    I hate all bingo ads, especially Foxy Bingo…cheesy naff bollox….using uber camp Northern accents

    • Paul LJ Catlow

      The one with Heather Graham lip-synching a fake “cheerful-chappy salt-of-the-earth” accent. Ye Gods, is she so broke she has to do this stuff?

    • dan

      Add to this the ever increasing amount of gambling website ads in general. Bingo ones always have the naff northern accented women, nothing against girls from up north, just the relentless use of the accent on those “girls just wanna have fun type adverts”. Then the other gambling ads are trying convince you, you’re some kind of high roller in vegas and not at ALL some loser sitting on his sofa in his grundies, pissing his money away into some debt machine. Which they’ve conveniently let you do through your phone, good times, wasting money on cgi roulette in the bogs at work, on bus or wherever really. If people read small print these companies would fall flat on their faces, free 30 pound bonus (small print says you cant withdraw winnings until you’ve wagered anythimg from 30 to 90 times that amount!). I have alot of vitriol for these people as one of my longest and closest friends nearly got into serious debt problems after being suckered in by their innocent fun and glamorous winners style ads.

  • adam

    Every bank pretending to practically be a charity and claiming their doing the world good. Fuck you nationwide, lloyds etc (the worst 2 offenders). You are all out there to mug people off with shit they can’t afford to pay back, and the general public aren’t all that fucking thick they believe the bullshit spewing out of your adverts. So put a fucking sock in it. You’re a bank NOT A CHARITY.

    • Paul LJ Catlow

      Lloyds. Our hand in your pocket since 1750-something. Proving whoever gets screwed in a crisis or a recession it’s never going to be us.

    • Jon Harris

      Well said adam…:-)

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