AdTurds Bad Adverts – Badverts

Suggest An AdTurd

Tell me about the worst advert currently on television - the one that really grinds your gears, the one that makes you switch off, hurl obscenities at the television or simply throw yourself out of the window.

The Admiral advert, Tesco advert or Just Eat advert? Or long-running series from the likes of Money Supermarket, or Go Compare? Or simply the newest thing that had you gouging your face in annoyance.

I'll try to track down the worst offenders and give them the AdTurds treatment. It won't change anything - but it might make you feel very slightly better about the world.

Browse the old comment section - with over 1100 comments complaining about adverts - for more misnathropy.

Do your worst - but keep it civil. No personal abuse - and anything that smacks of bigotry in any way will be deleted and the user banned. That means:

    No racism.
    No sexism.
    No homophobia.

  • Rupert Hughes

    “Ain’t no advert, I hated more”
    The TUI advert can do one, not just standard one, but one with fecking bells on it. The fact that they think some talentless bland person, miming appallingly to the most butchered version of a song is going to sell holidays, is beyond me! WHAT IN GODS NAME IS SHE DOING WITH HER ARMS? Can she not keep still, is it malaria!?! And for all the fuckwits following her around doing dances like an uncle at a wedding, they can do one. Not as much as the woman in it though, wish she’d stop smiling with that London look mouth !!! The TUI advert has made my already depressing tv experience even more infuriating. Any slim chance of me going on a package holiday with TUI to Benidorm to spend a fortnight amongst people who desire to be her has well and truly been quashed. There should be a law protecting songs from being butchered for the sake of putting on adverts. It’s like some post-brexit ideal of soul music with only white people and tubas. Absolutely disgusting.

  • Andrew Johnson

    Very annoying advert for Emojis by o2 and Apple, that one with a stupid woman singing along to the tune with the Emojis including a singing TURD, say no more!

  • Bart Littlebird

    Just seen the latest advert for VIPoo. It’s the same as the original but at the end it suggests giving it as a gift for Christmas…. I actually laughed myself silly at the thought of people’s reactions if I gave them a bottle of VIPoo as a Christmas present.

  • Tintin Quarantino

    That monstrous Sainsbury’s Christmas advert is like a reverse Christmas Carol. All the joy and goodwill one might have been feeling going into the festive season crumples and dies under the constricting radiation of its incomprehensibly gloomy orange and grey colour scheme, the joyless, tuneless recitation of rhyming Crimbo tropes like a warlock’s spell draining them all of magic.

    Every frangibly beautiful tradition in British life is sucked up by advertisers and turned into more shite fodder to encourage people to go to the supermarkets they were going to go to anyway. You can’t have that, we have to get involved too. When you think of that, you have to think of us too. You have to think of Sainsbury’s. We know what your experiences are like, because everyone’s experiences are interchangeable (which if that doesn’t remind you of your own mortality you have a rare and precious gift for ignoring the inevitable), and we have to list them for you because we know you. We’re part of it too now, as if we just walked in and sat down next to the stuffing and the roast potatoes and the sprooooooooooooooooouts.

    Sit silently before the Sainsbury’s advert while it licks your memories and sucks the joy out of them, leaving your world as monotone as their advert. But what’s that one remaining splash of colour? Why, it’s the orange. The orange of Sainsbury’s. The only colour left in your Christmas world, as they would have it. All else the sepulchral greyscale of a Swedish arthouse film. The Sainsbury’s Christmas advert is the Seventh Seal of Revelation. Et lacrimatus est Iesus.

  • Sharon Presland

    There MUST be a special place in Hell for the pricks that came up with this LOBSTER THERMIDOOOORA… nonsense. I know it is not the little girl’s voice or her fault but for the first time in my life I feel the urge to punch a kid in the face every time this acoustic assault comes on. It’s that horrible.

  • Rebecca Flowers

    Christ. Just seen an advert for Kenzo perfume and I immediately came here. The advert is a woman in a green dress running up stairs, getting to the next level and doing some bizarre freak-out manoeuvre that I don’t really want to call dancing but I think its supposed to be dancing. The soundtrack is an aural assault and made me stop what I was doing immediately and make a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp. Hideous, even for a perfume ad.

  • Cindy Collier

    Any dog advert other than for products actually aimed at them (even then who gives a f–k) theirs just too many they assume every family and every person that ever existed has one and who gives a f–k. Its literally every advert and some of them are downright stupid i mean there are two chocolate adverts, first the green and blacks is a girl being chased by them how does that sell chocolate, honestly? (Its common knowledge thats poison to them so why the hell would you use them to sell it, probably going to be a few stupid people out there that end up) The Malteseasers adverts i get empowering disabled people but really I am supposed to be encouraged to buy a food product by you telling me about excrement… really? and the other Malteasers advert for obvious reasons. How do these people get paid?

    I have an actual reason to be getting pissed off though, I work nights and every day when i get back the bastards stop me getting any sleep. So these adverts are just another level of g f y.

  • Mark

    Well done JD Sports on your Christmas ad that celebrates chavdom. I’m sorry that I don’t ‘get down with the kids’; either way the ad is nausea inducing.

  • Mark

    Corden “I’m a sheep whisperer”! No Corden, you’re an annoying piece of shit who has littered my t.v. screen for long enough. Now please move on gracefully; alternatively just fuck the fuck off!

    • Bart Littlebird

      As my husband said the first time he saw this advert: “sheep whisperer? Sheep shagger more like”

  • Lyn

    Top cash back
    Sorry but bloke gives me creeps.
    I cannot bear it .Even fast forwarding makes me nauseous

  • Nick Stimson

    Nationwide advert. Cringe-making. Puerile. Embarrassing. And most of all really, really annoyingly dumb. Shelley and Keats must be spinning in their graves if this tosh is poetry.

  • Silvia Hartmann

    Ah, and while I am here. The Nationwide “poem” adverts. O M G. The schmalz, the overblown pathos, the pure vomit inducingness … I am getting fighting fit by desperately diving for the remote control every single time. Oh God please make them STOP!

  • Silvia Hartmann

    Right. This isn’t one ad, but something more global – there is this one guy who makes what I call “clown music” for all sorts of ads, and it drives me nuts. If I ever get to meet him, someone will have to hold me down. It is completely unmistakable once it’s been pointed out. And I honestly cannot believe how many companies go for approving that absolutely appalling clown music for the back track to their products. Grrr!!!

  • dan

    “There’s a local ad agency with added sexism for that”. Thanks british gas, I mean “local heroes” (a british gas website). Yet again the british male is run down to ground, is completely useless at any home repairs, no matter how trivial and definitely needs to be told call a tradesman. Cos, you know, we’s too fick know our own limits.

  • leeleem77

    Not an advert as such but the Hungryhouse sponsorship of Big Bang Theory with the couple on the sofa who take off their work clothes
    Her – “don’t want to eat it in leather trousers”
    Him “Leather trousers, have you got leather trousers?”
    I just want to smack that silly mare in the face.

  • Ventus

    “Scouting locations for Pacific Rim Uprising by Microsoft Surface Pro – Where the heck are you gonna land a 250 foot robot? Pulled up a satellite image and there it was like a bullseye…Robots here!”

    Congratulations, you’ve just discovered Google maps. It’s only been around for a decade or so.

  • Bart Littlebird

    The latest Go Compare advert. As if that moustachioed opera pest wasn’t bad enough on his own they’ve now added some stupid monster thing that scoffs money and the two most hammy actresses I’ve ever seen: “What’s THAT!?” she shrieks “It’s EATING ALL OF YOUR MONEY”. Terrible advert. Drives me bonkers!

    • Sharon Presland

      Ha ha I must admit the first time I saw the monster and the woman’s reaction I choked laughing that hard. However then the GoCompare twit appeared and that was it. It has not made me go on their website so as far as adverts go it has failed.

    • Joe King

      I know its like shooting fish in a barrel having a pop at GoCompare adverts, but this latest one has plumbed new depths of grinding banality. The coked-up speed freak neighbour who’s clearly high and just finished teaching a class of mockney stage school kids that bursts through the door like she’s performing in Oliver, or the fucking Pink Windmill Show, is absolutely horrendous. Then on top of that, the woman who lives there seems to have some kind of mood disorder, swinging from mild resentment to taking the lead from her am-dram neighbour. Not to mention the additional new CGI ‘monster’ character chased in shortly after by that fat caterwauling idiot. All in all makes me want to puke/smash things in equal measure.

  • john harris

    TUI ad…pain the ardse…that ‘low fi dildoesque’..warbling remix of an 80s disco tune….wtf …

  • john harris

    I hate that Persil ad with ‘the rocker baby’…being like a cross between a biker and a 70s punk….it is the type of ad they used to make in 1982…not even ironic retro…just shite

  • Vega DA

    Another sodding Christmas, another sodding round of endless “artistic bollocks” adverts for various fragrances and perfumes that all smell like cat piss.

    They’ve even dragged out that Charlize Theron advert where she’s writhing around in the desert. That’s got to be at least 5 years old now. Hope they paid her well. Make it stop!!

    • Rebecca Flowers

      Ah perfume ads – the most pointless ad of them all.

      They’ve wheeled out that ridiculous Johnny Depp one where he decides to go digging in the desert after playing his guitar. Surely an advert that is the product of a diseased mind. It’s so shit I couldn’t tell you what the perfume is that its supposed to be advertising, as the one thing that stands out in my mind about it is, “what a dog-shit of an advert”.

      • dan

        I like to think that he’s digging that hole to throw himself into, after realising that no amount of money is worth doing arty bollocks ads like that steaming pile.

      • Mark

        When I see the ad I can’t stop thinking that the name of the substance is one letter away from reading ‘Sausage’. Would make it more interesting.

        • Rebecca Flowers

          Apparently someone defaced a billboard displaying the ad near where I live last year. I was a bit upset I never saw it. They spray painted the S over the V. Legend.

    • leeleem77

      I’ve decided to take the positive from Christmas adverts…every time one of those is shown is one less time the TUI advert is shown

  • Peter Wadsworth

    Check out the What’s My Claim Worth advert. You’ll need to time to readjust to reality after seeing it. Utterly horrific.

  • Alex Morris

    Peacocks Christmas 2017. Featuring all the slime of bad X Factor contestants Jedward, Wagner, Honey G and Sam Bailey promoting XMAS Factor

    • jon gogwana

      Cheap advert at least £25
      Makes Peacocks seem shite and cheapskates

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