AdTurds Bad Adverts – Badverts

Suggest An AdTurd

Tell me about the worst advert currently on television - the one that really grinds your gears, the one that makes you switch off, hurl obscenities at the television or simply throw yourself out of the window.

The Admiral advert, Tesco advert or Just Eat advert? Or long-running series from the likes of Money Supermarket, Confused.com or Go Compare? Or simply the newest thing that had you gouging your face in annoyance.

I'll try to track down the worst offenders and give them the AdTurds treatment. It won't change anything - but it might make you feel very slightly better about the world.

Browse the old comment section - with over 1100 comments complaining about adverts - for more misnathropy.

Do your worst - but keep it civil. No personal abuse - and anything that smacks of bigotry in any way will be deleted and the user banned. That means:

    No racism.
    No sexism.
    No homophobia.

  • Christopher Martin Gathern

    Saw this the other day….

    https://youtu.be/dj8kIeJAP7A

    …and even amongst the crap for Injury Shysters for you and what’s going on?….about PPI I mean on daytime TV, this one stuck out as a total turd….looks like it was brainstormed and created by candidates from ‘The Apprentice’

  • Joey hobbit

    Sheba “Hungry Eyes” ad;Lazy advert no creativity,a can’t be arsed spending money advert.A pedestrian cat supposedly tapping out the words to the song ‘Hungry Eyes’.1. At least find a Cat that actually looks starving and had hungry eyes 2.The fake Cat leg tapping a tune is shockingly bad.What message is the ad attempting to convey?North Korean leader likes Hungry Eyes.Cheap flakey advert.

  • Bart Littlebird

    That Plusnet advert where the spoilt teenager asks for the WiFi password in a really snotty tone of voice. If I was her parent I’d withhold it on principle until she learned some respect. Entitled wee shit.

  • joe king

    Im not exactly whats going in the M&Ms advert but I have deduced that they a couple of swingers and the wife’s organised a session without the husband whilst hes at work. He clearly wanted to gobble on the wifes special friend, so he’s miffed to come home to not only find he’s missed the opportunity for some hot M on M action, but to add insult to injury, theres another pervert in the wardrobe, getting off on the live action. The fraught landscape of sexual liberation has clearly cracked their marriage – a message to anyone there. Although I am quite open to sexual exploration, and I am not here to judge, but it does seem odd that they want to sell a kids chocolate through the lens of the complicated sexual dynamics of a dysfunction relationship.

    • Sharon Presland

      Lol… my 3 year old loves this advert. Now I feel like I will have to cover his eyes…

  • robyn

    The two women on the nationwide advert where one of them is playing the keyboard. It started at Christmas and I thought it would end there but it turns out they have carried on this rubbish with different terrible songs.

  • Mark

    If I want to watch the A team I’ll watch the A team, Premier Inn. This bunch of cretins with their aggressive march down the corridor and pathetic finger pointing at the employee with the painted on grin would squeal at the sight of a spider in the bath. Nausea inducing.

  • Geoff Matthews

    Why doesn’t June from thst Sunlife just piss off ?
    Always hovering round with mail from next door
    Typical nosey neighbour.

    • Joe King

      That June is clearly after a bit of action.

    • Bart Littlebird

      Those adverts drive me bonkers. Yes I think June is definitely after more than that bloke’s parsnips.

  • Joe King

    Fucking ‘Meccerena’. That is all.

  • Tintin Quarantino

    UUUUURGHH

  • Vega DA

    It’s been going on a while, but all these adverts with the “presents” title card at the start. “Shit Company No. 2,497 Presents…” It’s an advert, stop pretending you’re creating art to entertain the masses, stop pretending you’re doing us a favour and we should all be honoured and excited to see whatever you’ve churned out to annoy us. Just show us a picture of your crappy product for a few seconds and then bugger off! (or better yet, just bugger off and take your product with you)

  • cornz
    • Tintin Quarantino

      I guess hiring the actual Garfunkel and Oates would have been too expensive.

    • Joe King

      Just when we thought the Narionwide ads couldnt get any more nauseating do they hand the baton over to these two utterly unfunny/uncute tedious dullard pricks. I can just hear the ‘Marketeers’ now in their meeting with Nationwide…’so, building on our spectacular success of shite poetry, we’ve dug up these cretins…’

  • Vega DA

    “neeese and toaaaasss” …

  • Sharon Presland

    A general moan: all these horrid, loud tacky summer holiday adverts bombarding us whilst still in the middle of Christmas. Way to spoil the mood, will they ever piss off??

  • Sharon Presland

    The new Special K ad with its chavvy song almost saw my boot go through the tv.

  • Rebecca Flowers

    Why won’t Nationwide just do us all a favour and fuck off? Has anyone else had the misfortune of seeing the new poetry ad? Two women on a keyboard and an egg full of sand singing (and I use the term loosely) about the bit of time between Christmas and new year. It’s so awful I can’t even be bothered to find some words to describe it. Oh wait here’s one: shit.

    • KAP

      I LOVE it – makes a change from the usual crap put out at Christmas.

      • cornz

        You should be shot.

  • Tintin Quarantino

    This advert makes tigers sound like smug, stuck-up douchebags.

  • Liz Webster

    Current Audi R8 with ‘snow’ capacity advert! Please please please boot this utter rubbish off the air! Why don’t they go one better and dig out the old floating car from the 60’s Bond films?? At least you’d know it was a fake and you’d end up drowning! But they insist with these perpetual, pseudo scientific Lego mobiles that don’t know whether to hold your drink or drive in one lane! They should add a driving test on top as a free extra to catch their customer’s eyes because they don’t know what style and substance are. Nothing good to say about Audi and to show a car whipping across snow like that – even though it’s orobably on ice over a good foot thick obviously, really is reckless because some idiots will think it actually does handle snow very well, meanwhile 50 tonne wagons jackknife on snow only only a few inches thick in bad weather!

  • Victor Ferreiro

    I would like to nominate the new webuyanycar.com “Be More Phil” – as in Schofield. Somebody thought it would be funny to turn we buy any car HQ into a Charles Manson style cult dedicated to reliable, safe pair of hands Phillip. Which I guess is what their very broad strokes were aiming for. Pretty creepy especially the statue which looks nothing like him.

  • Leigh

    That cringey webuyanycar / Phillip Schofield advert.

  • Vega DA

    If I wanted to spend Christmas with a bunch of non-entity chavs, I could go round one of my neighbours houses …

  • Zelly Pu

    It’s been discussed before but the blasted Fairy spaceship ad. Now I know Fairy love a sexist ad (it is obviously only Women who wash dishes) but this one is the worst ever. I’m making the assumption that the female in the advert is the mother, but I suppose she could be the neighbour/au pair/random female friend of the male, and whilst she washes up dad pays little attention to his spawn or the female and reads the paper. WTF? Why is no one telling the kid to go outside and play? Has the kid been standing there for weeks on end hopeful that the bottle will be empty? Why doesn’t one of the adults just empty the bottle into a cup or something, to shut up the whining? This coupled with the awful acting has me turning over every time. I just need to hear the ‘Daaaaaaad’. That bottle will make a s**t spaceship anyway, no glue on earth will stick to that plastic sonny, you’d be better off playing Super Mario instead. Oh and Dad, maybe get the female a dishwasher for Christmas?

  • Jon Harris

    That annoying anchor spreadable ad…with that honking elephant…those ugly whatever they are remind me of munters I used to work with..☺

    • Rebecca Flowers

      What I find most offensive about this ad is the fact that, despite being prompted, the child goblin doesn’t say thank you for the present.

  • Fozz

    Amazon boxes. Singing. Please stop!

  • Simon J

    The whole feckin cast need acting lesseons, this ad makes me want to vom!

  • Simon J

    Oh & that farting monster in the John Lewis Xmas ad, need I say more!!??!!

  • Simon J

    Another ad that annoys the crap out of me is the Beagle
    Street “Home Sweet Home” ad, talk about plastic wooden acting, what was their budget for employing actors for this ad? 5p?

    • Sharon Presland

      Yep I think I moaned about this one here some time ago. The silly way the woman talks really bothers me. Ending every sentence like a damn question…?????? The poor bloke is under the thumb too. Icky.

    • Mark

      It’s fitting that they chose a bloke that looks like a sad dog to appear in an ad for Beagle Street.

    • Tintin Quarantino

      He looks like a hipster Postman Pat.

  • Simon J

    That ad that REALLY irritates me is the Colgate ad with the
    cross-eyed girl on a train who has a crinkly top lip & a mouth like a basking
    shark! Ready for life? More like ready for acting lessons!!

    • Mark

      Yes, she’s had a lot of mentions on here; but merits a good few more. I’m guessing that the auditioning panel must have been Stevie Wonder and David Blunkett.

  • Sharon Presland

    The Opium perfume ad has been bugging me for a while. It is not only the black haired girl’s frankly slappable face, nor the screeching tune…it’s the fact it seems to me like it’s glamourizing drug dealing. Jerks.

  • Rupert Hughes

    “Ain’t no advert, I hated more”
    The TUI advert can do one, not just standard one, but one with fecking bells on it. The fact that they think some talentless bland person, miming appallingly to the most butchered version of a song is going to sell holidays, is beyond me! WHAT IN GODS NAME IS SHE DOING WITH HER ARMS? Can she not keep still, is it malaria!?! And for all the fuckwits following her around doing dances like an uncle at a wedding, they can do one. Not as much as the woman in it though, wish she’d stop smiling with that London look mouth !!! The TUI advert has made my already depressing tv experience even more infuriating. Any slim chance of me going on a package holiday with TUI to Benidorm to spend a fortnight amongst people who desire to be her has well and truly been quashed. There should be a law protecting songs from being butchered for the sake of putting on adverts. It’s like some post-brexit ideal of soul music with only white people and tubas. Absolutely disgusting.

    • Simon J

      Quite feckin right! Malarial? I think she has West Nile Fever with a dose of tourettes!

    • Mark

      Yes, I hate her prissy version of what is a ballsy soul number. And her prissy dance is just as annoying; like she’s trying to loosen her knickers from the crack of her arse.

  • Andrew Johnson

    Very annoying advert for Emojis by o2 and Apple, that one with a stupid woman singing along to the tune with the Emojis including a singing TURD, say no more!

  • Bart Littlebird

    Just seen the latest advert for VIPoo. It’s the same as the original but at the end it suggests giving it as a gift for Christmas…. I actually laughed myself silly at the thought of people’s reactions if I gave them a bottle of VIPoo as a Christmas present.

  • Tintin Quarantino

    That monstrous Sainsbury’s Christmas advert is like a reverse Christmas Carol. All the joy and goodwill one might have been feeling going into the festive season crumples and dies under the constricting radiation of its incomprehensibly gloomy orange and grey colour scheme, the joyless, tuneless recitation of rhyming Crimbo tropes like a warlock’s spell draining them all of magic.

    Every frangibly beautiful tradition in British life is sucked up by advertisers and turned into more shite fodder to encourage people to go to the supermarkets they were going to go to anyway. You can’t have that, we have to get involved too. When you think of that, you have to think of us too. You have to think of Sainsbury’s. We know what your experiences are like, because everyone’s experiences are interchangeable (which if that doesn’t remind you of your own mortality you have a rare and precious gift for ignoring the inevitable), and we have to list them for you because we know you. We’re part of it too now, as if we just walked in and sat down next to the stuffing and the roast potatoes and the sprooooooooooooooooouts.

    Sit silently before the Sainsbury’s advert while it licks your memories and sucks the joy out of them, leaving your world as monotone as their advert. But what’s that one remaining splash of colour? Why, it’s the orange. The orange of Sainsbury’s. The only colour left in your Christmas world, as they would have it. All else the sepulchral greyscale of a Swedish arthouse film. The Sainsbury’s Christmas advert is the Seventh Seal of Revelation. Et lacrimatus est Iesus.

    • Rebecca Flowers

      There’s not much else to say about it really, other than it’s shit.

  • Sharon Presland

    There MUST be a special place in Hell for the pricks that came up with this LOBSTER THERMIDOOOORA… nonsense. I know it is not the little girl’s voice or her fault but for the first time in my life I feel the urge to punch a kid in the face every time this acoustic assault comes on. It’s that horrible.

    • Mark

      Ha ha; some kids are just asking for it! Mostly ones that appear in ads; like the one playing detective when his mum takes the dishes from the dishwasher only to find it spotless, and his smug shitty expression as he responds with “boring”.

  • Rebecca Flowers

    Christ. Just seen an advert for Kenzo perfume and I immediately came here. The advert is a woman in a green dress running up stairs, getting to the next level and doing some bizarre freak-out manoeuvre that I don’t really want to call dancing but I think its supposed to be dancing. The soundtrack is an aural assault and made me stop what I was doing immediately and make a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp. Hideous, even for a perfume ad.

  • Cindy Collier

    Any dog advert other than for products actually aimed at them (even then who gives a f–k) theirs just too many they assume every family and every person that ever existed has one and who gives a f–k. Its literally every advert and some of them are downright stupid i mean there are two chocolate adverts, first the green and blacks is a girl being chased by them how does that sell chocolate, honestly? (Its common knowledge thats poison to them so why the hell would you use them to sell it, probably going to be a few stupid people out there that end up) The Malteseasers adverts i get empowering disabled people but really I am supposed to be encouraged to buy a food product by you telling me about excrement… really? and the other Malteasers advert for obvious reasons. How do these people get paid?

    I have an actual reason to be getting pissed off though, I work nights and every day when i get back the bastards stop me getting any sleep. So these adverts are just another level of g f y.

  • Mark

    Well done JD Sports on your Christmas ad that celebrates chavdom. I’m sorry that I don’t ‘get down with the kids’; either way the ad is nausea inducing.

    • Simon J

      JD Sports = CHAV = Kapper Slappers

  • Mark

    Corden “I’m a sheep whisperer”! No Corden, you’re an annoying piece of shit who has littered my t.v. screen for long enough. Now please move on gracefully; alternatively just fuck the fuck off!

    • Bart Littlebird

      As my husband said the first time he saw this advert: “sheep whisperer? Sheep shagger more like”

      • Mark

        😀 Poor sheep.

    • Jon Harris

      Yeah Corden,,’Sheep..Whisper’…SheepS hagger more like..

  • Lyn

    Top cash back
    Sorry but bloke gives me creeps.
    I cannot bear it .Even fast forwarding makes me nauseous

  • Nick Stimson

    Nationwide advert. Cringe-making. Puerile. Embarrassing. And most of all really, really annoyingly dumb. Shelley and Keats must be spinning in their graves if this tosh is poetry.

  • Silvia Hartmann

    Ah, and while I am here. The Nationwide “poem” adverts. O M G. The schmalz, the overblown pathos, the pure vomit inducingness … I am getting fighting fit by desperately diving for the remote control every single time. Oh God please make them STOP!

  • Silvia Hartmann

    Right. This isn’t one ad, but something more global – there is this one guy who makes what I call “clown music” for all sorts of ads, and it drives me nuts. If I ever get to meet him, someone will have to hold me down. It is completely unmistakable once it’s been pointed out. And I honestly cannot believe how many companies go for approving that absolutely appalling clown music for the back track to their products. Grrr!!!

  • dan

    “There’s a local ad agency with added sexism for that”. Thanks british gas, I mean “local heroes” (a british gas website). Yet again the british male is run down to ground, is completely useless at any home repairs, no matter how trivial and definitely needs to be told call a tradesman. Cos, you know, we’s too fick know our own limits.

  • leeleem77

    Not an advert as such but the Hungryhouse sponsorship of Big Bang Theory with the couple on the sofa who take off their work clothes
    Her – “don’t want to eat it in leather trousers”
    Him “Leather trousers, have you got leather trousers?”
    I just want to smack that silly mare in the face.

  • Ventus

    “Scouting locations for Pacific Rim Uprising by Microsoft Surface Pro – Where the heck are you gonna land a 250 foot robot? Pulled up a satellite image and there it was like a bullseye…Robots here!”

    Congratulations, you’ve just discovered Google maps. It’s only been around for a decade or so.

  • Bart Littlebird

    The latest Go Compare advert. As if that moustachioed opera pest wasn’t bad enough on his own they’ve now added some stupid monster thing that scoffs money and the two most hammy actresses I’ve ever seen: “What’s THAT!?” she shrieks “It’s EATING ALL OF YOUR MONEY”. Terrible advert. Drives me bonkers!

    • Sharon Presland

      Ha ha I must admit the first time I saw the monster and the woman’s reaction I choked laughing that hard. However then the GoCompare twit appeared and that was it. It has not made me go on their website so as far as adverts go it has failed.

    • Joe King

      I know its like shooting fish in a barrel having a pop at GoCompare adverts, but this latest one has plumbed new depths of grinding banality. The coked-up speed freak neighbour who’s clearly high and just finished teaching a class of mockney stage school kids that bursts through the door like she’s performing in Oliver, or the fucking Pink Windmill Show, is absolutely horrendous. Then on top of that, the woman who lives there seems to have some kind of mood disorder, swinging from mild resentment to taking the lead from her am-dram neighbour. Not to mention the additional new CGI ‘monster’ character chased in shortly after by that fat caterwauling idiot. All in all makes me want to puke/smash things in equal measure.

    • Mark

      Yes, contrived hamminess; but still shite.

  • john harris

    TUI ad…pain the ardse…that ‘low fi dildoesque’..warbling remix of an 80s disco tune….wtf …

    • Simon J

      That ad is truly shit!

  • john harris

    I hate that Persil ad with ‘the rocker baby’…being like a cross between a biker and a 70s punk….it is the type of ad they used to make in 1982…not even ironic retro…just shite

  • Vega DA

    Another sodding Christmas, another sodding round of endless “artistic bollocks” adverts for various fragrances and perfumes that all smell like cat piss.

    They’ve even dragged out that Charlize Theron advert where she’s writhing around in the desert. That’s got to be at least 5 years old now. Hope they paid her well. Make it stop!!

    • Rebecca Flowers

      Ah perfume ads – the most pointless ad of them all.

      They’ve wheeled out that ridiculous Johnny Depp one where he decides to go digging in the desert after playing his guitar. Surely an advert that is the product of a diseased mind. It’s so shit I couldn’t tell you what the perfume is that its supposed to be advertising, as the one thing that stands out in my mind about it is, “what a dog-shit of an advert”.

      • dan

        I like to think that he’s digging that hole to throw himself into, after realising that no amount of money is worth doing arty bollocks ads like that steaming pile.

      • Mark

        When I see the ad I can’t stop thinking that the name of the substance is one letter away from reading ‘Sausage’. Would make it more interesting.

        • Rebecca Flowers

          Apparently someone defaced a billboard displaying the ad near where I live last year. I was a bit upset I never saw it. They spray painted the S over the V. Legend.

    • leeleem77

      I’ve decided to take the positive from Christmas adverts…every time one of those is shown is one less time the TUI advert is shown

      • Simon J

        Indeed, I don’t want to go back in a time machine to 80s naff cheese!

  • Peter Wadsworth

    Check out the What’s My Claim Worth advert. You’ll need to time to readjust to reality after seeing it. Utterly horrific.

  • Alex Morris

    Peacocks Christmas 2017. Featuring all the slime of bad X Factor contestants Jedward, Wagner, Honey G and Sam Bailey promoting XMAS Factor

    • jon gogwana

      Cheap advert at least £25
      Makes Peacocks seem shite and cheapskates

    • Mark

      Yes, a cavalcade of Z listers; paid a fiver each I hope.

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