I hate this advert: its American smugness; its terrible music; its Intel jingle (the most depressing noise in the world).
Of course, what's absurd about this ad for Dell's laptops is that it's taken them fully ten years to make a laptop that isn't a whirring hard plastic black-or-grey box.
Lord knows where we'd be without Apple. It's possible than without iPods and iPads and iMacs and the like everyone would be carrying around something resembling a Commodore 64 on their backs and taking off whenever the extractor fan kicked in.
So, this is all about trying to make laptops a bit cooler by painting them a different colour and convincing people to treat themselves. Y'know, cos it's a different colour.
Pretty patronising stuff and, as all Mac marks like me know, all PCs are simply varying grades of bloody awful anyway, with their horribly frustrating operating systems and counter-intuitive interfaces.
Painting one pink and putting a sickly sound bed behind it ain't gonna change that. It would be like putting a beard on Adrian Chiles and pretending he were Brad Pitt - underneath it there'd still be that Brummie accent.
Oh look, it's some new ads for Apple, each of which manages to be smugger than the last and which only Apple fanboys think are funny.
Pick of the bunch has to be the one taking the piss out of PCs for needing loads of small print in their advertising in order to justify the claims made.
That's a lot of legal copy
says the smug Apple bloke at one point.
This has to be one of the most cravenly hypocritical ideas of all time. In case everyone has forgotten, Apple was forced to change one of its iPhone adverts last year after the Advertising Standards Authority said it misled customers over the twatty gadget's internet capability. Consequently, it now includes various small print in its TV spots such as
Steps removed and sequence shortened
Or, to put it another way: This advert is based on a lie.
I like Apple products. I'm using a Mac to type this. But I find Apple's TV advertising to be bumptious, patronising and almost wilfully annoying. And smug. Did I mention smug?