These were, apparently, the best-loved adverts of 2010, according to some kind of complicated algorithm from Nielsen.
The research includes 1.5 million votes cast by British viewers on the 'likeability' of various adverts and how much they remembered it.
On this basis, the ubiquitous meerkat adverts came out on top, with a 'likeability index rating' of 256; 2.56 times more popular than the average new commercial during 2010.
Second was an advert for Magners, one of many overwhelmingly Oirish adverts that blighted the channels over 2010; while utterly forgettable adverts for the likes of Maltesers, Cushelle and Velvet were also ranked in the top ten.
So, what does all of this mean? Very little, beyond the redundancy of many tracking metrics deployed in advertising and marketing to reassure advertisers and marketers that they're doing a top-hole job.
These adverts may have been ranked as memorable and likeable, but it's hard to read anything more significant into these figures. Are these good adverts? In the main, no. Did they give a return on investment? There's no data here to suggest they did. What was the penetration? Who knows? Did they raise the profile of the brand? Perhaps, that's the easiest conclusion to draw from this bizarre set of data, though how familiar and fondly thought-of the brand already is is debatable; as is how memorable they after after a year; while how these adverts automatically become 'best-loved' is beyond me.
No doubt Nielsen would love to tell you more about its advert rankings and audience research - for an absolutely whopping fee. I'd be more than happy to give rather more succinct views on the adverts below, for a much smaller one.
'Best-Loved' Adverts Of 2010
(Descriptions in italics are Nielsen's; in plain are mine)
Story of meerkats fighting an army of mongooses in a snowy landscape
Meerkats uber Alles.
2. Magner's Irish Cider
Clonmel home of Magners Cider; lorry over golf course; through brick wall
Begorrah, bejoisus, becroikey. Fucking champ. Patronising Oirish drivel.
Two couples watch a movie; girlfriends position boyfriends so that they are cuddling
Meh. Variation of the stupid-Dad meme.
4. Santander Bank
Family driving in car; boy falls asleep with red legos; featuring Lewis Hamilton
Everyone likes lego; kids probably like Lewis Hamilton (though probably don't do a lot of banking).
5. Snickers Candy
Mr. T doing pushups; listen up, suckers; get tough, one-fingered push-ups
Hard to ignore, hard to forget, hard not to like - at first at least.
6. Cancer Research
Race for Life this summer, beat cancer, enter now
Don't remember ever seeing this.
7. Marks & Spencer Christmas ad
Come on girls first positions; featuring Peter Kay, Twiggy and Dannii Minogue
Noisy, unloved-celeb cluster-fuck.
8. Velvet Paper Towels
Boy in suit points to where trees should be planted in forest; adults hold trees in pots
Quite like this, couldn't connect it with a brand though.
9. Cushelle Bathroom Tissue
Cartoon koala bear leaps and hugs pack of tissue; new name (previously Charmin)
10. Pepsi Max
Professional footballers, including Lionel Messi, play kids for a Pepsi Max
Cash-spunking corporate obligation pay-day.
Cider seems to have made a bit of a comeback in recent years, by virtue of a bit of branding that has restyled it as a bit of a cool alcopop and the Stella phenomenon - charging an arm and a leg for something horrible to dupe people into thinking it's not horrible.
Bulmers - along with Irish brewer Magners (also, confusingly sold as Bulmers) - has cornered the market in charging over the odds for their product, as anyone whose heart has sunk upon learning that some idiot in the round wants a pint of ice and some fizzy apple pop will know.
Just to reinforce its Britishness, Bulmer's has released a terrible advert that's omnipresent all summer pushing its sweet fizzy pop with a terrible poem that's a kind of low-rent equivalent of If, itself a poem that Kipling thought was rubbish.
'30 degrees, knob-ly knees!' and a load of other stupid supposedly British cliches that make me want to retch. There are lots of shots of people doing stupid, supposedly British things and we're all supposed to smile in recognition of how bloody ridiculous but loveable we all are.
It's frankly nauseating, and bloody irritating and patronising. It's an idea of Britain straight out of The Sun, so bland it could have been dreamed up by Jo Whiley and so right-on it's like a David bloody Cameron speech.
'Glorious, magnificent, eccentric and ours!' It's a mantra born of a focus group, the empty rallying cry of a telecommunications brand evangelist, the ersatz motif of a society that doesn't really exist. It's fucking shit.