Sometimes I wonder whether I should stop doing this blog. It takes up time that I don’t have, it’s increasingly out-of-kilter with my career and the idea of going out in a blaze of glory or just ending the whole thing (I’m talking about my hosting here) is kinda attractive. And then I see a terrible advert. This Virgin Media Inspired advert, for example.
Here’s what happens when I write virtually every post on here – sometimes after a couple of days, sometimes after a week or the best part of a month. I see an advert for the first time and it so enrages me that I feel unable to let it pass. Somehow someone, somewhere must strike a blow – however small, pointless and insignificant – against the rank awfulness that has just taken place. Maybe – in some infinitesimal way – confronting these cosmic evils redresses the balance of the universe.
Earlier I browsed around a market – I bought a cushion, some prints of countryside scenes, lemon curd and pork pie. Then I went for a walk and saw a Hummingbird Hawk-Moth. Then I had a few pints. Then I had a rabbit and black pudding pie. Then I had some more pints. Then I watched Doctor Who. Then I watched a repeat of The Tick Of It. I was having a really good day.
I mean, admittedly, right now I should be doing some work. I’ve got some work to do for tomorrow, some work to do for Monday and some work to do for Friday. I really have to do all these bits of work and they have to be on time. After the pie and moths and pints and telly I really should have done an hour’s work. I’ve got a rare couple of hours, in which I haven’t pencilled in travelling, sleeping, working or recovering from all that other stuff. So I really should be doing work. And then what? This fucking Virgin Media advert.
If you’re actually showing your child videos of Emmeline Pankhurst on an iPad then you either don’t exist or you’re a twat. If you Google the words ‘women who rock’ you’re a twat. If you somehow compare Paloma Faith – a lady who sings songs – with the aforementioned Pankhurst then you’re mental, frankly.
If you want to use Fleur East singing Girl On Fire to accompany someone doing Google searches you have a pretty big disconnect between use of the phrase ‘on fire’ and listlessly WWILFing on a tablet.
If you want to imply – even in a roundabout way – that women got themselves smashed into the ground under the hooves of horses so people could download porn, Game Of Sodding Thrones and the latest episode of The Great British Wank Off a bit faster then fuck you, basically. And take your naff little Girl Power parable and shove it up your coke-pickled rectum.
No, it’s fair to say I didn’t enjoy it. But I do feel slightly better for the vaguest, slightest hope that I might make someone, somewhere, somehow think about they’ve done. And if that isn’t the real power of the internet I don’t know what is.
Well, this is interesting. I wonder how many people spat out their half-time lager/tea/laverbread during the England/Wales rugby world cup advert break – or choked on their acid during This Is England 1990 on Channel 4 – when they saw the ‘cat and budgie’ Freeview advert interrupted by a robot a bit like ED209 from Robocop marching towards them and telling them to conform (and upgrade and subscribe).
I had to wind it back myself, just to check what I’d actually seen. Sure enough, there’s a little interference at the start of the advert, which slowly gives way to what looks like a pirate feed interrupting the usual ITV signal.
What is this? A They Live!-style subconscious message we suddenly all became aware of? A pirate signal? A spot of adbusting? No, it’s a Freeview advert that’s needling the Sky/Virgin/BT orthodoxy of how we watch television these days. Here’s why – and how:
We are moving towards an economic system that’s based on subscriptions. This makes sense when you think about it. Most of our digital services – and much of the hardware the serves them – are subscribed to. You don’t buy Virgin – you lease a box and the services from them. You don’t buy the internet, online storage or telephony. If you think about it you subscribe to your utilities. You don’t just pay a one-off fee and get electricity for the rest of your life. You only ever really ‘own’ your house after 30 years of the most expensive hire-purchase agreement you’ll ever enter into.
Telecommunications, multimedia and infotainment systems also run like this, because it’s easier to upsell packages in this manner and because these apps and systems regularly need upgrading. I suspect we will move towards a subscription system in many walks of life – mobility, food, leisure – in the next couple of decades.
Why buy a car you use for four per cent of the time when it depreciates like a lead ballon? Why not, instead, pay a monthly fee for an integrated transport service that includes use of a car (like ZipCar), access to taxis (like Uber) and public transport? Frankly that system makes a lot more sense in some regards.
Do anyone else see that weird advert Interruption on itv or was that just me? #RugbyWorldCup
But here’s the rub – and why the ‘hacked’ Freeview advert. When getting TV services you buy a 12-, 24- or 36-month subscription that looks great value. You get hardware, continued services and some added fripperies. And then six months later you get a letter saying your monthly bills have to rise. And six months later you get another. Then your set-top box becomes redundant and you have to upgrade. Then everything’s on HD so you have to upgrade again. Then you have to get some brilliant new channel because that programme all your mates are watching means upgrading.
Before you know it you’re paying £100 a month to watch a bit of telly, look at the internet and rent a landline (here’s my regular BBC bit too – you complain about the licence fee and then pay a grand a year to watch adverts. What’s wrong with you?).
Did anyone else just see the weird subliminal TV hacking on ITV+1?! #disturbed
And that’s what this Freeview advert is about. We’ve sleepwalked into stumping up a grand a year to watch more telly. As far as I’m concerned this hasn’t made me happier, expanded my horizons or meaningfully opened up quality new television to me. So recently I lost patience, on receipt of another letter from Virgin telling me I had to pay more for the same service – and I slashed my package.
I pay the minimum amount for the minimum number of channels and I honestly have not noticed the difference. In all likelihood I’ll buy a Freeview box before long and be done with the whole silly merry-go-round of subscribe-upgrade-conform.
Which, for me, makes this clever advertising from Freeview – certainly it makes more of an impact than the cat-and-budgie ads or even the lovely Left Behinds advert. They’re quite nice, but they didn’t really mean much to me.
Did anyone else see that weird Interruption on itv, cat and bird advert for freeview #RugbyWorldCup#hacked
This Freeview advert certainly got people talking – and it seems to have genuinely rattled people. For my money, anything that gives people a jolt while they’re shovelling takeaways and sugary gak down their gaping maws as they stare slack-jawed at the telly is fine by me.
Normal service will now be resumed…
Set Yourself Free Freeview Advert
Here’s the full – and pretty lengthy – Freeview advert these inserts have been building up to. It’s called Set Yourself Free.
And here’s a load of bumph about the entire campaign from Freeview.
Freeview, the UK’s no.1 TV platform, is set to unveil its biggest ever advertising campaign to launch connected TV service Freeview Play.
Airing today (Friday 2 October) the new TV Freeview advert Set Yourself Free will launch as a premiere ad break during Emmerdale under ITV’s Proud to Present banner and will be introduced by the channel’s continuity announcer. The advert is a two minute CGI film which opens in an Orwellian world with an army of TVs brainwashing inhabitants to ‘conform’, ‘upgrade’ and ‘subscribe’.
In this world is the advert’s young Hero TV, at odds with those around him, and a girl with her dog who long for a better way to watch TV. As the Freeview Play Hero TV escapes the dystopian world, the viewer follows his journey until he is united with the girl and dog and opens up a whole new world of free-to-air television to them.
Set Yourself Free is set to a new version of the iconic I Dreamed A Dream from Les Miserables performed by Sarah Kingsmill and recorded specially for the advert. Since last Saturday Freeview has been teasing the new campaign with a version of the brand’s Cat and Budgie advert interrupted by an evil TV from Set Yourself Free.
The TV campaign will also include 60 and 40 second versions plus Freeview adverts which explain the features and benefits of Freeview Play. It will also be complemented by in-store, print and outdoor advertising as well as digital and social activation.
Freeview Play launches this month and combines catch-up TV, on-demand services and live television, bringing the ability to watch what you want, when you want, as easily as possible, to the mass market. The service is free from subscription and works with all existing broadband services.
Guy North, Freeview Managing Director, said: “Freeview Play is the biggest development in the brand’s history and our new advert perfectly illustrates that with it viewers are now free to choose the TV service that best meets their needs.”
Owen Jenkinson, Freeview Head of Marketing, said: “Set Yourself Free is really an emancipation story. The aim of the advert is to challenge category norms and show that there is a better, savvier way to watch free TV in a visually striking and compelling narrative.”
Set Yourself Free was created by Leo Burnett with visual effects by Electric Theatre Collective. MEC is Freeview’s media buying agency.