WeBuyAnyCar.com Redux

-We just kissed dignity goodbye, quick quick
-We just sold our souls, quick quick.
-Twatty, shitty, ***y, twunty
-We just look like twats, quick quick.

-I just sold my car, shit deal
-I just sold my car, how much?
-Fuck all; shit call

-We just sold our car; risky
-We just sold our car; dodgy

-Although we weren’t aware of the administration fee that costs £49.99*. And we had to get to their dealership to pick the car up ourselves. And I received a below-par valuation for my car that would have fetched more at private sale. And we were warned by other customers – who posted all over the internet – of the pushy sales techniques at the dealership we took the car to, where they downgraded the offer significantly, having kicked a tyre and mumbled something about a dodgy head gasket. And they don’t buy Category A or B write-offs.

-Quick! Quick!

*Although after an Advertising Standards Authority ruling against WeBuyAnyCar.com they did amend their advertising accordingly. Still, why ruin such a delightful ditty?

We Buy Any Car Adverts

I’ve got some inside information (made up in my head) on We Buy Any Car’s ad campaign for the remainder of 2010. It includes:

• Paying people to knock you down in the street and perform the We Buy Any Car rap and dance over your cowering body.

• Tattooing We Buy Any Car on the foreheads of 1,000 prisoners, due for release in 2010

• Chiselling WeBuyAnyCar.com on every abbey, minster and cathedral in Great Britain

• Spraypainting WeBuyAnyCar.com on all models registered prior to 2002

• Broadcasting the We Buy Any Car theme tune from pirate radio in every major city in the UK on a loop

• Forcing David Attenborough into a series of media appearances where he is contractually obliged to mention We Buy Any Car twice a minute, every minute.

• Paying people to go on forums and blogs and build links back to the We Buy Any Car website, regardless of whether the forum or blog is relevant to the used car industry.

One of these is real. Guess which one.

On a serious note, if you want to find out more about , knowledge is power.