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28Jan/162

Every Vine About Winterwatch Is Filthy

winterwatch blackcock

Who in their right mind doesn't like Winterwatch (or Springwatch and Autumnwatch), the tri-annual BBC celebration of wildlife, obscure music references and utter filth? The show - presented by Chris Packham, Michaela Strachan and the would-have-to-be-invented Martin Hughes-Games - is a glorious showcase for Great Britain and its beautiful countryside.

For an hour a night you can forget all about David Cameron's vile face, ISIS, The Daily Mail, Katie Hopkins and the looming nuclear armageddon and lavish your attention on whether the sedge warbles will fledge, attempts to reintroduce peregrine falcons to the UK and some blurry footage of a pine marten. It's a kind of comfort blanket for the middle classes but, unlike Bake Off and its ilk, at least you're learning something. And, with any luck, you might go and make a hole in your fence and put up some bird-feeders, thereby increasing the sum total of human happiness a few degrees.

But there's another reason to get a giddy thrill from Winterwatch. It's the interplay between the presenters. While Hughes-Games exists as a kind of Last Of The Summer Wine amiable buffoon, Packham and Strachan have formed a straight-faced double act of filth. It has always been there but last night reached some sort of apotheosis when the duo went looking for blackcock.

Twitter went into meltdown and no doubt some dead-eyed journalist at the Sun or Mail will use it to chip another tiny block off the BBC. But in the same way that Radio 4 can broadcast swearwords and sex scenes during the day because they know no-one who's listening is likely to be offended, Winterwatch can pull off the same trick.

As a result virtually every Vine tagged with Winterwatch is dirty. And long may we ruminate on just how much Michaela Strachan loves blackcock.

1. I get Michaela out of bed to show her blackcock in the flesh

2. Sucked off with the power of six-and-a-half tonnes

3. I thoroughly enjoyed my black cock experience

4. Blackcock live first thing in the morning

5. The promise of black cock live first thing in the morning is a very real one

6. We promised you blackcock live on the internet first thing in the morning

7. There's one particular blackcock that's made me smile...

8. Six blackcock, tits and nuts in the undies

9. Wait, what?

I don't know what's going on here but it looks dubious

10. The birds and the bees

Martin Hughes-Games gets in on the act

11. That isn't my knee

12. A little bit moist

13. Anal sucker

14. Tits in HD

15. I love that sound

On a slightly different footing, Packham responds favourably to the sound of a ghastly murder, deep in the woods

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