Emotional manipulation is nothing new in advertising. Think of those kindly old faces plugging life insurance for when they’re six feet under. But it’s surely never been so in-your-face as this advert for Avivia life insurance featuring Paul Whitehouse as a kindly – but very much karked – Ghost Dad.
Look at poor Dead Dad Paul Whitehouse. He may be dead, as is indicated by his white apparel – long such proscribed as the attire for dead human beings, as laid out in Randall and Hopkirk (Deceased) – but at least he provided for his kids with a life insurance policy UNLIKE YOU YOU FUCKING MISERLY, IRRESPONSIBLE, SORRY EXCUSE FOR A FATHER.
What happens if you snuff it eh? There’ll be no dead Dad to look after your wife and kids BECAUSE YOU SPENT THAT CASH ON A FUCKING FLATSCREEN TV RATHER THAN PUTTING A BIT OF MONEY AWAY EVERY MONTH, DIDN’T YOU? YOU UTTER BASTARD?
No matey, the only people who’ll be around your house when you’re six feet under ROTTING IN HELL ARE THE FUCKING BAILIFFS. SELLING YOUR KIDS, PISSING ON YOUR COUCH AND TOUCHING YOUR MISSUS INAPPROPRIATELY.
Unless it’s actually Paul Whitehouse himself, bringing your poor widowed wife flowers and gifts of computer games for the little ‘uns. Because maybe that’s what Paul Whitehouse will be doing, when you’re brown bread. Getting his feet under the table, shagging YOUR wife in YOUR bed and wearing YOUR fucking slippers. And your kids… now they’re calling HIM Dad.
Look at Paul Whitehouse. Look at him pushing your kids on the swings at the park, taking your wife out to a West End show, with all the cash he’s made from Aviva adverts. Stroking your cat as it curls up contentedly on his lap. You can see in her eyes that she still loves you – that she’s going through the motions with Paul. But she has no choice – how else can she make ends meet? How else?
All because you didn’t take out that life insurance policy with Aviva.