NB. The link in the last paragraph of this article is very Not Safe For Work
Hmmm. What’s going on here then? Apparently you can get nectar points from Confused.com by blah blah blah whatever.
Anyway, what’s actually interesting about this is that Confused.com is continuing to plough a rather genitalia-fixated furrow. As ever there are plenty of bouncing breasts on display here but, also as ever, the main focus is on Cara Confused.com’s vagina.
You know the one, the vagina that is apparently the gateway to another dimension – one that allows for objects as big as cars to be stashed up Cara’s muff.
This new advert introduces another talent her minge apparently possesses. It apparently produces nectar points. It’s rather coyly skipped over in the ad, but if you go the trouble of playing it frame-by-frame (something I think we can all agree is vital research) it’s clear that what nestles between Cara’s legs isn’t simply a honeypot. It’s, well, a nectarpot.
Not only that but a dog emerges from between Cara’s legs with its tongue lolling out of its mouth. Cara looks perturbed, as well she might after depositing a vase full of nectar points from her vagina, having apparently been licked there by a dog. As for Cara’s breasts? Well, she may want to check with her private clinic that no French silicone went into her implants, as they seem to have grown significantly since last year.
What to make of all this? Well, if Confused.com thinks that playing up the bouncing breasts and multi-talented clunge works for them so be it. It seems fairly clear that this is no longer – if it ever was – a mistake. A game developed by Confused.com called Cara’s Magic Pocket seems to confirm this.
So, where do we go from here? Maybe Confused.com will follow Churchill (now with Martin Clunes) and add a celebrity to partner Cara in future ads. Imagine Jeff Brazier falling, dripping out of Cara’s vajayjay. Or Sian Lloyd reaching up into Cara’s womb, James Herriot-style, and pulling out a loyalty card. Or the entire Four Poofs and a Piano tumbling out and striking up a tune?
Arresting images all. Bot quite as arresting as these images from Rule 34 of Cara engaged in some rather naughty activities. Confused.com may deprecate them, but with ads like this one on the go, they’ve no-one to blame but themselves.