How Twitter Reacted To The Clean Bandit Cortana Advert

With opinion crystallising around the idea that the Clean Bandit Cortana advert is ranked somewhere between the explosion of Krakatoa and 90s soap opera Eldorado in terms of Bad Things, I wonder how Clean Bandit have viewed the last month. That is, assuming they can view anything, what with the amounts of bank notes Microsoft has been explosively ejaculating in their direction for most of 2015.

I’ve had my say on the Clean Bandit advert already – as has most of the internet – but bad adverts are meat and drink to blogs and websites, whose job it is to scorn stuff like this. For a real snapshot of how the group’s Cortana advert has gone down we need to look at social media – if stuff goes down badly on the likes of Twitter, increasingly taken over by vlogging twerps, you know you’re in trouble.

I’ve got some filthy news for you, Clean Bandit. The people who inhabit Twitter, one of the easiest audiences to impress, think it’s a shitter. The words cringe, embarrassing and die are used most frequently in reference to the ad – and something truly awful becomes apparent.

Even though people hate it, their cringe muscle is even more exercised than their hate muscle. People don’t hate Clean Bandit for this advert; they actually pity Clean Bandit for being in their advert.

See what you make of the following responses from Twitter, Vine and Youtube and ask yourself if the band will ever recover from their awkward dalliance with Cortana.

What Clean Bandit Should Ask Cortana For

Class A drugs?

Career Ruined

Is this a new Duffy Diet Coke ad in the making?

Even MPS Are Dissing Them

Stella Creasy MP just pwned Clean Bandit.


Genuine fury, randomly directed.

Was It Worth It? / Change Your Agent

How much money could possibly be worth all this?

No Words

Clean Bandit Fans

Even Clean Bandit fans – or erstwhile Clean Bandit fans – are appalled.


Nailed it.

Reverend And The Makers identify just what Clean Bandit can expect to have shouted at them forever

Cortana / Clean Bandit Media

Lots of people can’t rely on words to express their fury.

You make me laugh, Cortana


Cringe, Embarrassment And Shame

The Cortana advert is provoking a lot of physical reactions across the land.

Worst Thing Ever

Of course, the vast majority of people were simply moved to describe just how nakedly appalling the whole enterprise is.