As has become more apparent of late, I do like some adverts. As it’s the end of the decade it’s the season for ‘best of’ lists looking back over the last ten years. Inevitably, rather than do something more interesting like putting an angry Charlie Brooker in a room with some ad execs, there’s a perfunctory ‘best 20 ads of the decade’-type programme tonight titled ITV’s Best Adverts Of The Decade.
All of the choices are pretty obvious, which is not to say they’re not good, by and large. Frankly the programme doesn’t do them justice, nor do the awful talking heads who contribute absolutely fuck all to our appreciation or understanding of the ads.
Some people called Mark Charnock, Andrew Castle, Sharon Marshall, Jonny Vegas (actually I like Jonny Vegas), Stephen Mulhern, Anthony Worrall-Thompson, Claire Beale, Paul Ross, Kym Marsh, Duncan Bannatyne and some dancing kid compete to be the biggest twunt on display.
Astonishingly it’s not Paul Ross, but Andrew Castle – a man with all the charm and searing insight of a pile of dog shit. Anyway, I’ve collected them all below, along with my own pithy opinions of the ads in question.
ITV’s Best Adverts Of The Decade
Halifax – Howard
No, no, no, no, no. Fuck no.
Budweiser – Wassup!
Shit.
Cadbury’s eyebrows
Shit.
John Smiths Peter Kay adverts
Funny, probably Peter Kaye’s best work.
Carlsberg – Old Lions
Brilliant, lovely to see everyone’s favourite old footie players in action one more time.
Waterslide – Barclays
Event ads jump the shark. Patronising, twee and fairly disingenuous drivel.
Volkswagen Golf GTi – Singin in the Rain
An undisputed classic.
Sure For Men – Stunt City
Quite amusing.
Sony Bravia – Balls
A nice ad that looks phenomenal.
Citroen C4 – Transformer
Fun, funky, French. Stone-cold classic.
PG Tips – Monkey and Al
Quite funny.
Sony Bravia – Paint
Quite pleasant.
John West – Bear
Quite amusing.
T-Mobile Dance
This first example of flash mob advertising is quite good.
Guinness – Tipping Point
I’ve long since tired of Guinness’ smug, ethnic vibe. And it’s a rip-of of the far-superior Cog.
Cadbury’s – Gorilla
Quite funny.
Skoda Fabia – Cake
Lovely.
Honda – Cog
It had to be. It’s not my personal favourite but it’s a slice of fried gold.
Compare the Meerkat
Funny and gains points for subverting an awful genre, but rapidly becoming tiresome.
Hovis
Well observed, but hardly the best ad of the last ten years.