Kris Marshall and the BT family

Kris Marshall is probably a nice bloke. It’s just that nearly every role he’s played has involved him looking like a total cock. My Family, that programme with Amanda Donohoe, that role in Love, Actually.

The icing on the cake is the BT family adverts, which feature Marshall solving every single problem in his bizarre step-family life through the magic of a BT Home Hub, whatever the fuck that is.

Anyone who has ever had any dealings with BT will know how utterly absurd this is, as they’re by far the worst of all duff post-privatisation utilities.

The only pleasure in the ads has been trying to work out if I fancy the MILFy mother figure in these adverts but, joy-upon-joy, there have recently been signs that the series of ads is coming to an end.

After taking his dream job – another fucking shit sitcom I expect – Adam is back on the scene, apparently with some big news.

It’s not explained what this news is, but as it is conveyed by dozens of people hearing it down the phone looking deliriously happy I can only assume that Adam has been struck down with some terminal illness, or has decided to take his own life.

It’s the only thing I can think that explains the sheer relief and unalloyed joy on the faces of those who know him.

• Curiously hardly any of the BT ads are available on Youtube, so I haven’t been able to find this latest ad. If I didn’t know better I’d suspect BT slaps a copyright infringement claim on them when they crop up. But I’ll find one, mark my words, I’ll find one.