Crimes Against Advertising: Ian Wright

Seriously, how on Earth does Ian Wright keep getting television programmes? The man is one of the least appealing characters on British television, but he’s been inescapable for the last 20 years.

Wright began his television career in terrible adverts before graduating to terrible chat shows and the like. Why? Who knows? Why not Les Ferdinand, Chris Armstrong, Andy Cole, Teddie Sheringham or Chris Sutton? At least two of them have shown themselves to be much more engaging footie pundits than Wright, who eventually took himself off to Gladiators in search of more serious TV fare, having sulked or squealed his way through Match of the Day for a few years.

For whatever reason, Wright was earmarked as one of the chosen few who’d go on to make more money after his footballing career had finished than he did prior to it (see also Andy Gray, Jamie Redknapp, Chris Kamara).

Most of the adverts below seem to show Wright as a thoroughly irritating tit, acting like a berk in just about every single one. He does show the occasional spark of comic timing, but I’ve never found him to be anything other than charmless and tiresome.

Interestingly, Five seems to have made an entire advert for its risible Live From Studio Five programme to showcase Wright’s most awful traits. Chiefly witless, uninformed jabbering.

There are a couple of good ads here – the Nike battle against a footballing demon; the ad for Swedish betting outfit Stryktipset; and the tolerable Ladbrokes cafe effort, though that’s largely down to Ally McCoist (see also: Ladbrokes 2010 World Cup ad).

The most egregious – where Wright visited an Arsenal fan’s house to use his phone, only for said fan to stand around dribbling and repeating Wright’s name – doesn’t seem to have found its way onto the interweb.

That’s a shame, because it may have served as a warning from history against the following two decades of utterly appalling advertising from the gobby twat.

NB. In addition to all the spots below, Wright has also filmed adverts for Nescafe, Pizza Hut, Asda, Kellogg’s, One2One, Privilege, CarpetRight, Thomas Cook and Walkers. He must have a fucking phenomenal agent.