AdTurds Bad Adverts – Badverts

18Aug/104

Adam and Jane BT Advert – What DID Happen Next?

So, Jane is preggers, who saw that coming?

Apparently over 1.6m people voted in the 'What happens next' BT advert vote, with over 70 per cent voting for the 'with child' option.

Why on Earth anyone would want to do this is beyond me, but there you go.

As for AdTurds readers, they voted for Adam throttling himself with his phone cord in frustration at BT's poor customer service, narrowly edging out 'Jane is constipated'.

But if all that's a little too scatological for you, here's the amazing suggestions that BT really liked on its site:

I feel Jane should be pregnant scared and confused. Of course it is Adam's and Adam is over the moon he jumps on the plane flies over and says lets get married....NOW! The whole family goes to a registry office and gets married ! It then jumps forward 9 months to show the baby and they are all smiling and phoning their family x

I think that Adam and Jane should marry, have a baby and become a nice family. I also think that Jane's ex will also find a new partner for himself and also have a child then all can meet up on a regular basis and be friendly for the sake of the children.

Jane's ex-husband will text her and say we need to talk about the kids, they should meet up and he will tell Jane he still loves her and wants to make it work and then he will kiss Jane

Fucking fascinating we're sure. Here's some suggestions from viewers on BT's own Youtube page. The first is the 'most popular' response.

I don't know whether this is heroic social media chops from BT or heroically insane to allow comments like this, but there you go:

Jane continues to rub her stomach, dropping the phone to the floor. Her right hand goes to her breast, stroking and teasing her nipple softly. The camera pans back.

Jane's left hand has slipped under the waistband of her trousers. Her hand moves further in, her fingers quite obviously stroking and rubbing her most intimate area.

A low sultry gasp escapes her lips, her right hand moving from her breast, sliding under the pillow for her vibrator....

My idea is that he goes into her facebook account and discovers she's a crack whore with loads of clients. He poses as a client wearing a Mexican wrestling mask and drills her in the bum mercilessly until she explodes.

Miscarriage

I vote for a termination

How about, Jane comes home to find Adam balls deep in the daughter, then BT get a huge surge of new customers in Norfolk

She dies in childbirth

what happens next ? I know ! he finds out that his best mate and her and having a affair and well he aint happy ! so what he does is get a knife and go round her house and stab her 57 times in the belly killing her and the baby in her !

then he robs 30 banks in a row give all the money to NASA so that he can fly up to the moon. On the moon he meets 5 aliens who are planning to blow up Earth and he decided to help them.

The line suddenly goes dead - they ring the BT faults department and find out that there's a fault at the exchange! It turns out that an engineer accidentally disconnected her line when they were turning on a neighbour's broadband connection.

Cue a montage of them on the phone to the faults department and checking the fault status on the website, lifting the receiver to see if it is working yet, days flying off a calendar. The advert ends with the woman sobbing and rocking gently in the corner.

Adam meets up with Jane at the weekend. Jane is acting weirdly. Adam is cautious, but in an instant, a chestburster alien bursts out her chest. But instead of attacking Adam instantly, it fuses with Jane's bottom, to become an evil alien hybrid known as the Jane-uss.

The Jane-uss leaps at Adam, but Adam manages to whip out his wang in time, firing several litres of acidic ninja sperm at Jane-uss. The Jane-uss subsequently is impregnated creating the Ninja-Sperm-Jane-Uss Alien Hybrid.

The End

All of which seems far more entertaining to us. Anyway, here's the stunning reveal:

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  • Funnyale

    Watching them kiss is so uncomfortable… They are actors and they have been playing these characters for 5…LONG…years, but they are not the slightest bit convincing! How long will we be forced to watch this advert before they finally go away?

  • The Ad Hater

    What the fuck does this shit advert have to do with BT?! There was absolutely nothing REMOTELY related to BT at all. All I saw was Jane & Adam sitting at a table staring at each other for 10 seconds and then he goes and asks if she’s pregnant.
    All I can say is, WORST… FUCKING… BT… ADVERT… EVER!

  • h9k

    that is just fucking sick.
    If those actors had any sense of decency then they should have refused to act out such shit.

  • David

    “We’re not telling anyone… because I’m getting rid of it.”

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