ToolStation Advert: Metrosexual Plumbers

What’s startling about this advert isn’t so much the idiotic dancing and crappy re-appropriation of the popular drunk auntie’s wedding/Christmas party favourite Hokey Cokey but the weird casting.

Why are all the plumbers and builders in this thing so damn perfectly groomed? There’s a guy in a hat with creepily white teeth who looks like he’s spent at least four hours sculpting his beard using some kind of Braun LadyTrim.

Another determinedly metrosexual bloke with a chiselled jaw and floppy hair is looking at radiator fittings on his computer when surely he should be looking at a Ryan Seacrest fan site. (Or the website of a model casting agency.)

There is one bald, gurning, cockerney geeeeeza who does genuinely look a bit like a plumber. Unfortunately, the eye is distracted by his massive over-acting and weird, rigid, zombie-like dancing skills.

Actually, the song is fairly startling. At the start at lease it sounds like it’s being sung by elves whereas later it just goes comically out of tune.

Not a wholehearted advertising success.