AdTurds Bad Adverts – Badverts

30Aug/1311

M+Ms advert: Get In The Bin

m&ms advert get in the bowl

This M+Ms advert is hideous. Let me count the ways.

"I could really do with a snack?" The kind of person who would essay this sort of insolent, brattish demand needs to put across the lap of a Canadian lumberjack and spanked really hard. Not in a playful, sexual way, but in the way that a a fictional little Fauntleroy would have been whammed by a governess in a patrician Victorian children's novel, to the great delight of everyone concerned. Until tears squeeze out of the corners of the eyes and wrenched yelps of pain leak from the mouth.

The craven acceptance of this hideous command also deserves some sort of physical correction.

But, perhaps worst of all, are these hideous Monsters Inc animated analogues with the shit-eating Pixar-cum-Disney accents and shtick. Let me put this out there - barring Toy Story all of these modern animations are fucking shit. Shrek, Monsters Inc, The Incredibles, Cars, Finding Nemo. They're all total shit and if you disagree with me you're an idiot.

m&ms advert get in the bowl

All of these films have the same underdog hero, voiced by Billy Crystal or someone who sounds like him. They have a big dumb, lovable idiot. They have someone who's doing an impression of Joe Pesci - he's all mouth and no trousers, but he's lovable too. And a fit woman voiced by an number of interchangeable hotties approaching their 40s. They're all the same, with naff little parables on friendship, love and morals with their boilerplate characters, predictable plots and genuinely awful voices.

As a photocopy of a hazy JPEG of that template, this M+Ms advert amounts to a pale imitation of a small mound of shit. I'd smash the little bastard's sugary carapace in with a hammer if he were lurking in my cupboard chucking my food about, before scooping his guts out with a blunt spoon.

Having said that, the one shining light in this advert is the 'what happened next' moment, where the little chocolatey twat is hopefully thrust into a pan of boiling water or chucked into the top 'fast freeze' draw for a slightly less cruel method of euthanasia, just prior to being shattered into a million pieces with a toffee hammer.

One last thing. I've got news for you - Smarties kick the arse of M+Ms.

  • Paul LJ Catlow

    You’d think they’d breed sentient chocolate sweeties who actually want to be eaten. Then again, it doesn’t doo to think too deeply on ads like this. Look at those sweet child-like Ribena blackcurrants doing engagingly child-like things in the countryside , fighting to get on the cart quickly, even though they know it leads to the crushing, pulverising and bottling plant. (Blackcurrant Auschwitz?) Maybe bloody-minded fighting against destiny is the only rational way to go for sentient chocoloate in a chocovore world.

  • Max C.

    The worst part of this ad is that it’s actually a British dub of an American advert. They didn’t dub it in Australia, so that makes this even less necessary.

  • Max C.

    The worst part of this ad is that it’s actually a British dub of an American advert. They didn’t dub it in Australia, so that makes this even less necessary.

  • TheZeroElement

    Why is it most people in adverts these days have no manners? “I could really do with a snack,” How about you get it yourself Also, she’s skinny as fuck, she could do with more than a snack. And that condescending look she gives at the end? Fucking bitch needs a slap.

  • TheZeroElement

    Why is it most people in adverts these days have no manners? “I could really do with a snack,” How about you get it yourself Also, she’s skinny as fuck, she could do with more than a snack. And that condescending look she gives at the end? Fucking bitch needs a slap.

  • Sam Joe

    “One last thing. I’ve got news for you – Smarties kick the arse of M+Ms.”

    BullSHIAT they do. Even if they released “Crispy Smarties” you’d still have to deal with the hard, bad-tasting, colour-leaking shell and less than stellar Nestle chocolate.

    • I’m going to quote advertising on this: Only Smarties have the answer

      • Sam Joe

        Ah, Touche.

  • Sam Joe

    “One last thing. I’ve got news for you – Smarties kick the arse of M+Ms.”

    BullSHIAT they do. Even if they released “Crispy Smarties” you’d still have to deal with the hard, bad-tasting, colour-leaking shell and less than stellar Nestle chocolate.

    • I’m going to quote advertising on this: Only Smarties have the answer

      • Sam Joe

        Ah, Touche.

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