AdTurds Bad Adverts – Badverts

10Jul/150

Uncle Ben’s Dildo Rice

It goes without saying that this advert is hideous, with its Summer Nights stylings and anthropomorphism that makes grains of rice and quinoa love each other (a bit like this advert showing sausages in love ).

But, more to the point and more obviously, the things that are supposed to represent grains of rice look exactly like dildos. Exactly like dildos. You know, one of those little ones that's discreet enough to be kept in a handbag. Pretty much exactly like this vibrator, which is helpfully reviewed by this lovely lady below, explaining how a vibrator works.

Paint a little quiff and leather jacket on that buzzcock and it would look very much one of Uncle Ben's Grease-era grains of rice. In fact, once the idea has occurred to you it's hard not to imagine that Travolta-esque hairpiece as the sort of added stimulation the Rampant Rabbit is famous for.

As for the quinoa - although opinion at AdTurds Towers is somewhat divided - to me, they look like little clitorises (clitori?) running around in high-school wear. Or bollocks. Either way, this is a pretty extraordinary advert. Saying that, vibrators and clits should rub along fairly well together, eh?

Enjoy your lunch.

For lazycocos

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