It goes without saying that this advert is hideous, with its Summer Nights stylings and anthropomorphism that makes grains of rice and quinoa love each other (a bit like this advert showing sausages in love ).
But, more to the point and more obviously, the things that are supposed to represent grains of rice look exactly like dildos. Exactly like dildos. You know, one of those little ones that’s discreet enough to be kept in a handbag. Pretty much exactly like this vibrator, which is helpfully reviewed by this lovely lady below, explaining how a vibrator works.
Paint a little quiff and leather jacket on that buzzcock and it would look very much one of Uncle Ben’s Grease-era grains of rice. In fact, once the idea has occurred to you it’s hard not to imagine that Travolta-esque hairpiece as the sort of added stimulation the Rampant Rabbit is famous for.
As for the quinoa – although opinion at AdTurds Towers is somewhat divided – to me, they look like little clitorises (clitori?) running around in high-school wear. Or bollocks. Either way, this is a pretty extraordinary advert. Saying that, vibrators and clits should rub along fairly well together, eh?
Another month, another deluge of funny, weird, sexy and scary keywords that AdTurds readers have been typing into their search engines.
The one in the title – Fuck off I’m not talking to rice Uncle Ben – tickled me, but the following one also elicited a giggle too:
does the vw advert really say wouldn’t it be nice if we were rover?
It isn’t, of course, but the idea of it amused me. I doubt if any car manufacturer in the last 20 years would envy Rover, but the notion of VW putting subliminal messages into its ads, such peculiar ones at that, is an intriguing one.
Elsewhere the guy on the far left of the Halifax choir is upsetting readers – several readers have been upset by him. I’ve not seen him yet, but I imagine there’s already a Facebook page that exists simply to disparage him. He’ll probably be making an appearance on here soon, as I suspect I’m going to loathe Halifax’s new ads even more than the old ones in the long run.
Paul Whitehouse, Stephen Merchant, Cheryl Baker and Louise Rednknapp were in the firing line this month – I particularly liked ‘freddie flintoff morrisons fucking idiot’ though.
Already the shortlist for the worst adverts of 2011 article is forming. And what a shitty shortlist it’s shaping up to be.
AdTurds October 2011 keywords
oh the hatred i feel for the halifax adverts cannot be put into words – 11 separate instances. I find this hard to believe, but surely Google can’t be wrong? According to the Big G 11 different people typed this phrase into their search engine and navigated here
go compare “fuck off” – 9 separate instances
confused.com fat black woman – 8 separate instances