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19Dec/162

Missing, Presumed Dead: The Tesco Advert Son

tesco advert son

Where is the Tesco advert son? The words on the lips of literally every man, woman and child in the country. Have Ruth Jones and Ben Miller (NOT Rob Brydon everyone!) killed him? Yes, that is the literally the only explanation. They've killed him and they're renting his room out on AirBnB.

Poor old Will Close (43), the actor in question, was no doubt marched into one of those little rooms in Tesco where shoplifters go and given the bullet. By which I mean they let him go following a pretty vicious shoeing on social media. I'm sure they didn't actually kill him. I mean they wouldn't. Would they?

It's worth pointing out - in answer to a million questions on social media that the son (Freddie) was supposed to represent 'a 'boomerang' child back living with parents in his 20s'. Fair enough. Then again it's also worth pointing out, at the launch of the campaign, Tesco believed there was a 'latent love of the brand' and that it had 'permission to be be funny'. Well, keep trying Tesco because you haven't succeeded thus far.

Anyway, it's fair to say his absence hasn't gone unnoticed. Not in an 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' sort of way either. While viewers were no doubt pleased to see the back of the Inbetweeners-via-80s-sitcom idiot son, it's raised a few eyebrows that his parents haven't even bothered inviting him around for Christmas dinner in the latest set of adverts.

Incidentally, television viewers aren't merely wondering where the 'Tesco son' has got to. No, no. There's all manner of weird and wonderful prefixes being deployed over on Twitter.

What becomes clear very quickly is that lots of people thought the actor too old to be playing the character in questions. And that many thought he was supposed to be cognitively impaired - to the point where one viewer vents his anger of the parents' 'negligence' for 'taking no medical action over their mentally ill son'. And, more prosaically, they hated his guts. Here are just a few examples (for what it's worth I called him a dopey Millennial):

• weird man-child son
• gormless...son?
• idiot son
• incredibly annoying son
• the twat son
• annoying fuck of a son
• the fucking idiot son
• retarded son
• weird gimp son
• annoying little cunt of a son

And what they said about him:

• Is the son in the Tesco advert mentally challenged?
• I seriously hate the son in the tesco advert
• Would love to hang , draw and quarter that twat from the Tesco advert
• the worst character ever created than an ad agency. Worse than the BT creep.
• The whole weird son thing is unsettling
• worst comedy character of all time
• Is he supposed to be their son with learning difficulties or something? Shocking
• Is the son on the Tesco advert meant to be 'special' or is he an older guy playing someone meant to be younger?
• dont get the new tesco advert is the son backwards or what
• the 'son' is just terrible, & he's about 35?
• is it trying to be funny or does he have a difficulty? Where is his support worker?
• Some of the worst acting I've seen since Simon off corrie

And some theories about what's happened to him:

• disowned
• killed off
• kicked out
• blatantly murdered
• chained up in the garage
• committed
• erased from existence

Finally a prediction for the next Tesco advert:

• Did I miss the Tesco advert where they are discussing the price of pork pies at the wake for their incredibly annoying son?

Now that would make me laugh.

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  • Onmebike

    You can almost hear the ad-men brainstorming the flip chart and coming up with “what don’t people like about Christmas, oh yeah, we start advertising in July so we can tap into that but show how great it is really if you just splurge all your readies with us.”

    Well I have just traipsed round your store and let me tell you, if I hear fucking Wizard wish it was Christmas every day one more time I shall be off to the kitchen department to pick up the biggest carving knife I can
    BRING IT ON.

  • ThatBoyNeedsTherapy

    Well funny. I’d like to think I influenced this piece with my comment on the previous entry (no need to shatter my illusions, I’ll just stick my fingers in my ears, Freddie style.

    And he’s 43???? Zounds.

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