Pampers golden sleep advert

Possibly the worst example of trying to invent a perceived need there has ever been, Pampers is busy telling us that sleep is ‘worth gold’, and there’s something called ‘golden sleep’.

So what is Golden Sleep exactly? It isn’t anything – it’s meaningless, a bit of brandspeak made up to make buying Pampers products seem more important, and there’s a bit of a hint in the campaign that your kids will grow up better if you shell out for some Golden Sleep for them.

There doesn’t seem to be any kind of actual research or facts behind the idea of ‘golden sleep’, apart from the fact that a good night’s sleep is obviously going to be of benefit to you and your baby.

This marketing bullshit I’ve found seems to back up the idea that there’s actually no such thing as ‘golden sleep’.

This summer, P&G is launching a new Pampers premium initiative to grow the total babycare category value by reinforcing the unbeatable dryness of Pampers nappies.

Also, as part of the ‘Golden Sleep’ communication, Pampers Baby-Dry will receive a softness product upgrade leveraging the brand market leading position through continuous innovation and development.

P&G continually invests in innovation driving loyalty for the whole range by strengthening the trusted Pampers dryness equity.

Total babycare category value? Softness product upgrade? Trusted Pampers dryness equity? What a load of absolute bollocks.

The Pampers website doesn’t have one single mention of ‘golden sleep’, or explain what it is.

Perhaps because it doesn’t actually exist outside the minds of ad men. A rather shameless meme is born.