Microsoft Songsmith Advert

Some ads are so disgustingly awful that there’s nothing really to add to them. It seems unlikely that there’s much that can be added to this to make it more truly awful, hideously annoying and fundamentally shit.

One of the more obvious elements of it is just how blackboard-scratchingly bad the little girl’s voice in the ad is, like Bonnie Langford after inhaling a Goodyear blimp. And then, just how awful does the music on Songsmith sound? It’s like the 20 years since the early Bontempi drum loops and 16-bar blues, swing and jazz chord progressions never happened. And “Microsoft huh? So it’s pretty easy to use?” Fuck off!

Adam and Joe did a very fun skit on this one of their shows a couple of years and the two things they picked up were as follows. Firstly, what father has never heard his tween daughter sing? EVER?

Secondly, why isn’t the man who decides to use a terrible children’s toy to soundtrack his appalling jingle for glow-in-the-dark towels immediately fired? That is, assuming he has a job. Or a family for that matter. It’s easier to just assume the whole thing takes place in the mind of a raving lunatic, bound and gagged in a padded cell somewhere.

Or if he wasn’t at the time he suffered this psychotic episode, he obviously was shortly thereafter.

Anyway, beyond this shocking advert, there has been some good to come out of Songsmith, namely a raft of amusing take-offs of popular songs using the benighted software.

This one, using Motorhead’s Ace of Spaces is our favourite.