Having edited out The Risk, Johnny Robinson and Frankie Cocozza from its X-Factor-themed Christmas advert, a new edit has appeared with an altogether different group shot that shows the helmet-headed wild man staring into the distance – mouth agape – in a manner resembling Jim Morrison’s corpse as if he’d just seen Louis Walsh stroking his stiffened-yet-tiny cock in the night sky.
Far be it for AdTurds to suggest that Cocozza was mashed on ecstasy pipes, but in light of recent allegations over his unceremonious exit from the competition we’re not ruling anything out.
Cocozza has pretty much as good as admitted that he bummed all of Girls Aloud and the Sugababes – Cheryl Cole and Heidi Range twice – and snorted at least an entire South American coca harvest during his time on the show, sleeping as little as 18 minutes in the last three weeks and subsisting on “parsnips and Haribo”.
So perhaps we should make some allowance for the tired lad on the day the M&S X-mas advert was filmed.
Given his physical and mental state we should probably be grateful he’s not simply spewing down his suit while fiddling with himself in the brand new advert that reminds us all how great Christmas and Marks and Spencer’s are.
46 seconds in, if you’re wondering
EDIT: M&S keep making their vids private after I’ve embedded them, so here’s the previous version – it still has Cocozza’s blank expression on view but it’s about a second later