Some of these ads have been around a while; some are new. All are fucking annoying.
They all feature some sort of aural assault – something you hear again and again designed to get on you tits, stay there and give them a tweak every few hours. As irritating as a midge bite, a screaming child behind you on public transport or Piers Morgan talking to you for any length of time whatsoever.
Tell me which is your most hated.
MandM Direct advert
SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Tassimo
SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Wowcher
An oldie and a shitty. I’m going to let a search engine term speak for me on this one: I’ll wowcher you, you cunts”.
Lottery
I really hate the current trend of having ‘normal’ voices singing on adverts, no doubt in an effort to be more relatable to us lottery-ticket-buying scum. And what’s that lyric? It sounds like oo-wackadoo-what-a-day. If it is I will hunt down the person responsible and make them listen to it for ten hours.
Even worse, there’s actually a karaoke version in case you want to sing along to this utter toss: “I heard a story; somebody told me; the lotto’s changing’ this Saturday.” That’s the story? Jesus Christ get some better friends.
MacDonalds
I despise everything about MacDonalds. But perhaps most of all I hate that cheerful little whistle at the end of all their adverts. It kinda sums them right up. Sickly, sweet, artificial, shit-eating and thoroughly nauseating.
• Vote for your most hated advert of October