I really hate these Nationwide poetry adverts, they’re so pleased with themselves. You can tell they’re gunning for winsome, joyous, authentic but they just make me want to give everyone involved a Chinese burn.
You hated them too – they were officialy the fourth worst advert of the year according to the Great British public.
I don’t bear any ill-will to the people featured in them – being vile to strangers on the internet is one of the more depressing phenomena of our time – so my apologies in advance to Heather. I hope your allotment thrives, your son gets his home and eats his carrots. But I never want to hear your poem ever again.
So I fixed it for you. For everyone with ears, in fact.