I hate McDonald’s, but you know that already. I hate their abysmal food, destruction of the environment and the way they tried to exploit child bereavement in a recent new low.
I also hate people saying “Maccy D’s” as if it’s some sort of fun carnival and they’re seven years old and trying to impress someone they fancy by using yoof slang. What’s next? Burgy K’s? For fuck’s sake.
Chances are, I suspect, if you ever used the phrase Maccy D’s in all seriousness you’re a gibbering simpleton with a higher-than-average chance of developing Type II Diabetes. And if you prefaced it with ‘cheeky’ you’re a total moron. Sorry about that.
Depressingly, McDonald’s trademarked the slang brand Maccy D’s, thereby turning the words of dribbling imbeciles into a sickly corporate landgrab: A kind of mirroring of slack-jawed fecklessness and crass corporate cunning.
This latest McDonald’s advert fixates on this idea of people being excited because someone ‘mentioned Maccy D’s’. Needless to say everyone featured in the advert is a toddler – making a nonsense of McDonald’s protestations that it doesn’t target children in its advertising.
“Maccy D’s” is yet another route to market to children (or people who share their mental ages) by appearing non-threatening, cool and exciting. By positioning McDonald’s – who continue to sell something called a ‘happy meal’ for fuck’s sake – as a treat that children might associate with holidays, birthdays and good behaviour it’s clearly targeting the pester power dynamic that drives adults to feed their kids stuff they know is bad for them.
And if you’re one of those parents why not get your kids hooked on cigarettes and hard liquor too? That way you can bribe them much more easily when they’re being little shits.
There’s something else I find obnoxious here – the implication that playing, going to a gallery or a day out is somehow to be endured only because there’s a spinal column in a bap wrapped in sugary bread at the end of it.
No, you didn’t hear someone say Maccy D’s McDonald’s EveryDave, you heard a chorus throughout the country of ‘fuck right off Maccy D’s’.