And you thought the Brexit vote divided the country…. well, those shouty people outside Parliament have nothing on AdTurds readers. When I asked what the worst advert of 2018 was I might as well have opened the floodgates to one of those frightening ponds full of radioactive shit at Sellafield while standing directly in front of it. Because I don’t just have to pore over the torrents of frustrated fury – I have to watch all the adverts.
Talking of Brexit, people don’t like me to. Talk about Brexit, that is. And I get that. They probably come here to be amused (I’d like to think) rather than find someone else blabbing on about whatever the backstop is, Theresa May’s haunted-tree face and Jacob Fucking-Rees, Twatting-Mogg – a man who resembles a Staedtler 2B pencil that hates poor people in a suit and seems to have more punctuation in his name than most undergraduate essays.
But I think in this Sun Bingo advert, which you voted the worst advert of 2018, there is a metaphor for Brexit. People who are angry about leaving the European Union – whether because it’s happening at all, or might not happen, or isn’t happening fast enough – have projected all their dissatisfactions, their grievances, fear, anger and disgust onto Brexit.
It’s become an issue that I think has lost all meaning – it’s just something to transfer anxieties onto, all the grubby little things we think are wrong with the country, whichever side of the debate we’re on.
And that’s what this Sun Bingo advert is. It’s everything British people hate about Britain. It’s cheap, vulgar, stupid, ugly. It’s probably the sort of thing Brexiteers voted against and it’s everything Remainers think Brexiteers are. In that regard, the Sun Bingo advert has united everyone. If only Parliament could do that.
This is the awesome power of the Sun Bingo advert. An advert that looked at genuine monstrosities, such as either Diet Coke advert, and shat them. Either of them. Take your pick; either flavour, whether “Yurt It Up” or “Supergood“, has the potential to genuinely make adults cry.
I’m not even joking – I bet somewhere, someone was genuinely moved to tears of impotent frustration by how awful these adverts were. Some will say that having two Diet Coke adverts in the pack split the vote but what else was I supposed to do? It would be like not trying Goering at Nuremberg just because you’d also caught Himmler.
I could legitimately have included two Halifax adverts on the same basis, but the desecration of Ghostbusters just struck me as so obviously evil. Still, Sun Bingo triumphed. Just parse that. There was a worse advert in 2018 than the Halifax advert that crapped all over Ghostbusters for the sheer hell of it.
And, God bless them, Flo & Joan. I can’t bring myself to dislike them and I can only think how excited they probably were to be on an advert and sing their godawful song. Then again, if I had to listen to that song ever again I might wish any number of obscene things upon them involving that keyboard being turned sideways and inserted into an orifice even smaller than their tiny house. However, even they could not withstand Sun Bingo.
Sun Bingo looms over the country like a referendum that has torn the country apart. Only worse. At least, one way or the other, Brexit will be over one day. But no-one who has seen the Sun Bingo advert will ever forget it.
Like walking in on Richard Keys wanking, it can’t be unseen and we will never be free of it. Sun Bingo is the worst advert of 2018.