Iceland Christmas advert – What a swell party

Although this, by any stretch of the imagination, an utterly terrible advert I can’t find it in my heart to loathe it in the same way I loathe most adverts for banks, telecommunications, make-up, cleaning products or financial services.

Because there’s no malice in it. It’s like hating the class dunce: he’s probably trying his heart out and he’d never be cruel or unkind to anyone. Simply, it’s not his fault he’s thick as pigshit.

When you get Coleen Nolan and Jason Donovan – two people who haven’t been famous for 50 years between them – representing your brand singing “What a swell party” very badly you can hardly be accused of any side.

Donovan sounds like he’s never actually held a note in his life and Nolan has surely only been selected as the jolly, big-bosomed, yo-yoing replacement for the hapless Kerry Katona.

Iceland seems to have made a virtue out of being cheap and cheerful – or cheap and nasty if you take into account their inexpensive frozen fodder – and that’s exactly what this advert is: The thick kid in the class.

The Samsung Jet advert would sneer at it; the American Airlines advert would look down its nose at it; and Peter Jones would kick it as he skated past on his stupid shopping trolly.

But it’s so hopeless I can’t find it in my heart to hate it.

• It’s so crap no-one’s even uploaded it.