NSFW: Make Your Own American Apparel Adverts

Can’t be bothered to go into detail on American Apparel adverts. Needless to say they court controversy with a series of porn-y shots that veer somewhere between high-concept photography and grimy self-shot kitchen-sink filth.

Summing the whole thing up is one of a young-looking girl with her legs apart, barely covering her exit holes with a pair of pants, in the way that Babestation ladies do – just a hint of snatch. The tagline? NOW OPEN. Dispiriting, grimy and just shit, really.

Anyway, here’s how you do your own. Find some soft porn (apparently it’s fairly easy to find on the internet) and slap a pleased-with-itself tagline over it in Arial or Helvetica Black. Sometimes you can put it on a solid white or black background.

You’ll want the actual snap to suggest a drunken birthday sex treat gone a bit wrong (anal, she cried afterwards) or a Lolita-ish coquette looking like she wants to be your cumwhore forever. For either the sort of high-contrast photography that suggests a harsh flash in a darkened room will do.

If you’re feeling bold head outdoors, with the sun backlighting her. She looks angelic, but also like a slut. It’s dissonant, see?

Elsewhere, you might consider lesbians, tights, spanking and, heck, masturbation I guess.

Christ, I’m depressed.

helvetica bitch