Cadbury’s Creme Eggs Jizzing All Over The Place

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I quite like these adverts for Cadbury’s Creme Eggs that go under the Goo Dares Wins banner. And I quite like Cadbury’s Creme Eggs (I’m always banging on about Cadbury’s adverts – what do I have to do to get some freebies here?).

I think they’re cheeky and funny and different. The adverts that is. Creme Eggs themselves are the most sickly foodstuff imaginable. They’re like little sugar bombs wrapped in chocolate and, I dunno, filth.

But, y’know what, there’s a bit of a problem with them really. Because there’s a bit of a naughty meme at work here. The eggs work themselves up into frenzies of excitement upon seeing things on screen that excite them, such as men having their chests roughly waxed.

goo dares wins creme egg

And then, and there’s no delicate way of putting this, they ejaculate. All over the place. They jizz absolutely everywhere, like a pornstar after lent. All over themselves, all over each other, all over the camera. They spunk all over the shop. At the end of this advert there’s Cadbury’s Creme Egg cum dripping everywhere. The image above is pretty much what I imagine lady pornlets see a second before they receive a money shot. It’s utter, utter filth.

This has been, um, coming for a while. For years Creme Eggs have taken an orgasmic pleasure in splattering themselves all over the screen in suicidal money shots.

Go back a few years and Creme Egg advertising was a tad more innocent. There’s still a definite frisson to “How do you eat yours?” but it’s hardly the same as spraying semen everywhere is it?

Back to the current campaign, somehow connected to the London 2012 Olympics, and the Creme Eggs can even be encouraged to perform their climactic self-immolation by your unlikely dares, to which the eggs will duly commit spermy seppuku on their latest advert. The Youtube channel is called GooTube.

Here’s ad director Michael Patrick Jann explaining – possibly without a straight face – the thinking behind the Goo Dares Wins campaign:

“These Creme Eggs are great comic characters. They’re anarchic, adorable little morsels of yummy goo; chocolaty rascals sporting no self-preservation instincts whatsoever. In my mind, they feed off watching these dares they commission. It’s borders on mania for them. It fuels them like some weird narcotic, and deep down in their candied yolks they know it will ultimately lead to their destruction. Yet still, they seek it out. They simply can’t help themselves. Theirs is a hilarious adventure of ecstatic pleasure leading to the ultimate act of . . . Gooing themselves

You could sum up this campaign with three words: creme egg bukkake.

Goo Dares Wins adverts