I cannot wait for someone to SFX a bunch of cocks into this new Mikado advert, in lieu of the sticks of Mikado biscuits these actors are chomping on with an abandon verging on reckless and positively orgasmic. In fact the slobbering ‘nom-nom-nom’ noises seen towards the end of the ad seem to almost invite the notion of a comedic blowjob. Go on – watch it now and imagine there’s a big throbbing whopper being guzzled.
As a result I’ve uploaded a bunch of screengrabs from the ad, which urges biscuit eaters to ‘Unleash Your Mikado’ at precisely 2.15pm when you’re at work. If any passing Photoshoppers have a spare five minutes while enjoying a cup of tea around that time, be my guest.
The time is actually significant as snack manufacturers believe there’s something called the ‘afternoon snacking market’. But what is the afternoon snacking market?
This artificial construct, being pushed mercilessly by advertisers, is a mid-meal break-out that should consist of ten minutes strolling around outside while eating an orange, but is more likely to be a listless ten-minute flick around social networks and consuming 300 calories of sugar, chocolate and butter at your desk.
Will it catch on? Undoubtedly. We live in an age of ‘I do what I want’ and in that context biscuit-makers aren’t going out of business anytime soon – it’s the capitalist equivalent of enabling alcoholism or being a feeder. I also think it unlikely that it’s a coincidence the advert features three women to one man, no doubt reflecting the result of some violent focus-grouping.
In light of what seems to be a growing consensus over the dangers of sugar, I wonder whether we’ll look back on adverts for snacks and junk food in the same way we now view ads for cigarettes or the fact we used to let kids play with lead soldiers.
In that context this silly, dayglo Mikado advert looks a lot less silly and rather more sinister. Though it is hard to overlook the potential for some Photoshop disruption – feel free to have at the pics below and upload them to 4chan or something.
Bonus turds for violently assaulting Toni Basil’s Mickey too.