BMW Joy Advert

I think that this new advert from BMW is truly the worst I’ve ever seen in terms of its sheer ineptitude and muddled message.

The fact that it’s so bad is accentuated by the fact that it’s from BMW, who normally seem to know what they’re doing with their ads. Power, style, grace, premium, driving dynamics, They’re BMW watchwords. The company slogan is Ultimate Driving Machine, for crying out loud.

This one features some drivel about how cars are ‘joy’ (another ‘sleep is gold’ moment). BMW has gone all big lifestyle concept, perhaps heralding a subtle repositioning away from cars that are bloody fast and have as much traction as you can handle to a more family-friendly fun aspect.

BMW recently softened the edges of its Z4 Roadster and Coupe – turning it into a folding metal roof coupe-cabriolet – and eliciting complaints from its loyal buyers. It’s hard not to ignore the fact that this ad is doing something similar, albeit much less successfully.

“We realised a long time ago that what you make people feel is just as important as what you make,” claims Captain Picard. I’m unconvinced by this claim, and am doubtful that the team responsible for making the first atomic bomb to be used over Hiroshima felt the same way.

“At BMW we don’t just make cars, we make…” is the devastating pay-off. Although I anticipated it, it still made a little trickle of blood emerge from my nostril.

The Garage Band backing music, the softly-softly Patrick Stewart voiceover, the smiley happy mugshots that tick every demographic in the book and that inane bloody narration. What a strange way to vomit all over your brand.