New Muller advert – RELEVANCE TO YOGHURT?!

Faced with this utter orgasm of cash, naff and drivel even an 18-month old would snort a derisive “Fück off!” and turn off the television.

Here’s a random sample – the four most recent responses – on the Youtube page for this ad. My favourite is ‘RELEVANCE TO YOGHURT?!’.

Knight Rider, Transformers, Yogi Bear, Mr. Men, Muttley, some other guys, and I’m pretty sure I saw Master Hand and Crazy Hand form Brawl make a rainbow together…

That made absolutely no sense, and seems a really clumsy attempt at a product tie-in. What the heck does KITT have to do with a bunch of cartoon characters, and what do any of them have to do with yoghurt?

I can’t really say why I hate this, but I do D:

I’m not really feeling like I’m being sold yoghurt watching this first ever knight rider/ Yogi bear/ transformers knock-off/ mr men crossover…

Talk about throwing enough stuff at a wall. Come to think of it, throwing yoghurt at a wall for 60 seconds may have made more sense.

Muller yoghurt and black civil rights

This ad from Mueller plays on one of the most irritating things known to exist – someone singing stupid songs, badly.

Tuneless wailing is pretty bad at the best of times, pair it to something inane and it’s unbearable.

The woman who sings “I’ve got my berry, got my cherry” – perhaps the stupidest couplet ever committed to the page – has the worst voice I’ve ever heard. Cowell would throttle her.

Then it gets worse. The sound of children singing is always a cheap shot in advertising, and as far as I’m concerned it never sounds any better than nails being dragged down a blackboard.

The coupe de grace is a vaguely gospel, dare I say it negro spiritual quality to the ‘we’ve got creamy yoghurt’ refrain.

Of course, what makes this all the more egregious is that this ditty was originally sung by Nina Simone, widely assumed to be about slavery.

It’s a defiantly upbeat song, lest we forget, from a black woman that was released at a time when the black civil rights movement was exploding into life across America in response to widespread segregation, persecution and racism.

Fucking yoghurt.